Monday, 11 February 2008

Ignorance is ugly

Quote for the day....

We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are --
Anais Nin

Okay, I am celebrating “Be pissed off and enjoy it week” this week. I have been asking writers to tell me what pisses them off about writing. No one said much other than they were tired of people telling them to get a real job. Hello? Anything that you work hard at is a job be you a writer, a stay it home mother or a do-it yourself taxidermist. Okay, I have no idea why I mentioned the taxidermist but my point is, no one should make assumptions of people because that pisses them off.

This brings me to the reason for my blog today, Monday – I know what Blogger says but it is Monday – actually Monday evening in OZ. Anyway back to the reason – someone called ‘anonymous’ emailed me privately. They were upset and they had every right to be - their email to me....
What pisses me off? Okay. It truly royally completely pisses me off when I am out and about and someone goes out of their way to be mean. Say I'm on a sidewalk and people flatten themselves to the side of a building. I'm a chunky gal but I ain't a boat. Or they say things about you in within hearing about how you look or how they think you are disgusting. They laugh or they joke and don't quit even when you look them in the eye and catch them on it. Why do people do that? Why do they deliberately pull out all the stops to be rude and hurtful to someone they don't know. Like making fun of a child who isn't as coordinated, a man who is shorter or laughs funny, someone with a handicap? Most times people will back off from racial slurs because it's taboo enough. But being fat isn't taboo at all. It is completely acceptable to make fun of or trash someone for their weight problem. You hear it all the time on TV or radio how so and so won't be caught dating X because who would when you could have Z.

No, I did not change the wording as I believe Anonymous was most eloquent. There is a group of ill-bred Neanderthals out there, who in my opinion, would not know if their arses were on fire yet they feel they have the capacity to judge another human being. I say to them – you are full of crap. I have been overweight, I have been thin. I guess you would say I am slim at this point of my life. People don’t set out to be overweight. It’s not a hobby – it’s a condition. Being overweight sucks. Having dickheads make snide ‘gee-aren’t-I-clever’ remarks about someone’s appearance may make them, for two seconds, feel like they’re important but they’re not. If you are someone who cannot or refuses to see that your stupid comments can cause pain then I suggest you need to re-think if you should be a human being. And to be honest, do we need you in the human race? The thing with humans is we are all flawed – fat, thin, big nose, short, tall – whatever – no one is perfect – or if they appear outwardly
perfect they may have flaws of character like a shallow soul and a big, ugly mouth. A truly funny person is one who does not make others suffer. They look around them and see what is going on in life. They do not joke about someone’s appearance except maybe their own. They do not need to feel ‘big’ by kicking another down.

Sure, we all make judgments when we meet someone. It’s that split second moment where something stands out about them. However, normal human beings leave it as split second reaction and move on as they know the person they are talking to is not their weight, their hair, their nose or whatever. I would hate to think I have readers on my blog who pick on someone for the way they look. I know you are all smarter than that. However, if you know someone like this then suggest to them that they imagine how their sister, brother, mother would feel if they were bullied because they did not look ‘normal.’ They’d be upset and rightly so. Is it any bloody different when it happens to a stranger? I personally will not stand for anyone being bullied. Don’t do it around me as I will not be quiet about it. People are under too much pressure as it is – don’t add to it.
Look at the number of teenage girls with eating disorders and body issues or the people who shut themselves inside because someone’s cruel words wounded them once and now they’re too scared to try again. If you cannot look beyond what you perceive are flaws then I suggest you have the problem. Pull you’re head in – you’re the one that’s flawed and ugly. And yes, by all means comment if you disagree. I’m not scared of bullies. I don’t need anyone’s approval to be me.
Okay – off dickheads and on to …

Toward the end of the church service, the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
About 80% held up their hands. The minister then repeated the question and all responded by raising their hands except one small, elderly lady.
Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?", the minister asked.
"I don't have any", she replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, that is indeed unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight" she replied.
"Mrs. Jones, would you come down front and tell the congregation how a person can live for ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The little lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, smiled sweetly and said, "I outlived the bitches."

No…to the best of my knowledge I am not related to Mrs Jones but she seems like a swell old girl.
Eternity – how are you going with the contest? Missed any? You can always go back and check ‘em out again.

What could you spend an eternity doing? What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, "My darling I could spend eternity…" on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –

1st prize--5 books

2nd prize--3 books

3rd prize--2 books

The books

Sandra Cox
Mona Risk
To Love a Hero
Brynn Paulin Tribute For the Goddess
Bronwyn Green Mystic Circle
Cindy Spencer Pape Stone and Earth
N.J. Walters Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke
Elyssa Edwards Mating Stone
Amarinda Jones Shades of Gray
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Anny Cook Honeysuckle

Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

My line was - "My darling I could spend an eternity with you doing the cooking, laundry and cleaning.” I think it’s sweet and meaningful and beats chocolates….okay – maybe not chocolates but it comes close.

Anny is discussing life on There is so much of it around. Kelly is discussing racing turtles for fun and profit on …or maybe not.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anny Cook said...

I agree with all of it and then some. If you're so inclined you can always find some flaw in the other person. And some of the hidden flaws are a lot uglier than some of the obvious one. Good blog.

Kelly Kirch said...

Excellent blog. I completely agree. And it does seem that people pick on "flaws" in others which are identical to the flaws they see in themselves.

Spritely old church lady. Worthy of admiration, no?

Molly Daniels said...

Mrs. Jones sounds exactly like my aunt!

Great're right on target!

Anonymous said...

My BIL is one of 'those' people. Can't stand him really but unfortunately I married his brother. What can I do?

Ha ha ... I love Mrs Jones. 'I outlived the bitches' that's a classic.

Sandra Cox said...

Well said, Amarinda.

Ashley Ladd said...

What's my pet writing peeve? Um...Well, what you said is one. Another is that "Oh, if I had the time, I could write novels, too." And of course, there's "I have an idea - you write it and we'll split the profit 50-50". Say what?

People can be very mean and they all live in glass houses. There's no excuse. Usually, maybe always, it means they're insecure. Still, no excuse.

JacquƩline_Roth said...

Love Mrs. Jones!

I have a theory that most human beings are stuck emotionally at the age of 14. They never get out of the 8th grade.

I'm a big woman. I'm also intelligent, sexy, funny and a great person. Despite a fairly strong self esteem you can't stop things like that from hurting you.

But I'm lucky. My smart-assed mouth usually comes to my aid. My favorite? Look at the bastids and say, "Oh look, a billion sperm cells and that one swam the fastest. So much for Darwin."