Deliver me not unto temptation I can find it myself....

So, I was sitting having lunch with a friend in this hole in the wall not the slightest bit chic café frequented by blue collar workers. The people who own it are really nice, salt of the earth people. Now, I’m being all goodly on my diet and eating only judicious, healthy food…but then a luscious slice of the most divine looking chocolate cake comes out and is placed on the table as a freebie to us. Oh god. Don’t you just hate/adore temptation?  So, I’m looking at this cake. My brain is explaining to me that “we have worked very hard to be good. Don’t eat the cake, fatso.” My hormones are dancing naked and urging me on with seductive words to eat. “You are not fat. You are perfect in our eyes. You want the cake. It wants you. How can it be wrong?”

Bloody hormones. I ask you, how can a brain compete?

I only had three small bites. I didn’t inhale and I didn’t have sexual relations with that cake…god knows I wanted to…. 

Unsettle me not…

There is this man at work who flat out doesn’t like me. That’s okay. Like me, hate me, my world still turns. It appears he doesn’t like me because I took the job of someone else and because unlike that other woman I’m not about to suck up to the men in the building by bringing in home baked chocolate cakes. Pardon me but I’m neither Betty Crocker or a simp. No, I didn’t know the someone I replaced. It wouldn’t matter if I did because there is clearly a reason I came in and replaced that person. So, he has deliberately been calling me ‘her’ to my face, in meetings, emails etc…you get the drill. It’s supposed to upset me. It’s supposed to unsettle me enough that I leave. Oh fuck off I say. I was born unsettled. I thrive in unsettled atmospheres. So, every time he calls me ‘her’ I put out my hand and introduce myself to him as if he’s losing his marbles. I can see it’s wearing him down into the screaming, gibbering wreck I expect he will be once I’m finished with him. Small balled men with chocolate cake fetishes? Stay home with mother, boys.