Hmmmm....

I was grocery shopping after work and I went up this aisle and I came across this married couple arguing about rice cakes. Yeah. Rice cakes.  Anyway, they were having one of those terse yet deadly cool battles that had the air crackling around them as they fought in tight, small words over which flavour of rice cake to get or ‘do you want, crackers again, Harry.’ How do I know they were married? Rings on their fingers and also married people have that look about them. I can only describe it as a scary, settled look. Single people have that  ‘I’ll buy whatever I damn well like look.’ Anyway this pair had me wondering. Do people living in sin have less arguments? Are rice crackers a deal breaker or a compromise? Saint or sinner? Rice cakes or ordinary crackers? Hmmmm…..   

Ah, officialdom…

I did the wildly exhilarating grocery shopping thing today. Yes, I know I don’t have to tell you how stimulating that is. Anyway, it was so exciting that I left behind two bags of groceries. Well, I tend to zone out when I do the hunter-gatherer thing. ‘Didn’t leave the alcohol behind…hmmm…anyway I rang the store to see if they were still there on the check-out. The response? “Maybe.”

Manager – what register did put your groceries through?
Amarinda – I don’t know they all look the same. It had a person serving and a light on with a conveyor belt thingy.
M – Do you have your receipt? What number is on the receipt?
A – I can’t see a number
M – Was it a man or a woman that served you?
A – A woman
M – What was on her name badge?
A – If I could remember that then we wouldn’t be doing this. Do you have my two grocery bags or not?
M – Maybe – what was in them?
A – Soda water (I drink it by the gallon)
M – Describe the bottles
A – Are you serious?
M – Yes, I need to know they’re yours
A – So you have them
M – Describe them please
A – Four bottles – 2.5 litres each – generic brand – white and red labels – not sure where they are made or exact contents other than carbonated water. Is that enough?
M – We have them
A – Great I’ll pick them up
M – I’ll need you full name and address
A – For $5.00 worth of soda?
M – We have to make sure we give them to the right person.

I have to wonder how many random people go up to the manager’s counter at a supermarket and query if any bags of soda water are left there and if so say they are the rightful owners? Is soda water the new gold? Give someone a title on their badge and they become a tinpot god of officialdom. Imagine if they got into public office. Oh wait, most of them have…

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