Hands down pants...

Okay, I’m talking to the real women out there – the ones with real, fleshy thighs – not the Barbie simulated ones. What I want to speak about is cruel and unusual punishment. Thigh rub. There is nothing worse than finding a split in in the inside seam of your leggings or trackie dacks and having flesh rub against cotton/lycra as you run. And trying to fix it so the rubbing is minimized without everyone wondering why your hands are down your pants? Degree of difficulty? High. Hands down your pants in public are hard to explain. Trust me. Try re-adjusting your pedometer on your knicker elastic mid stride. But that’s another story. 

But back to split seams and thigh rub...you could say “I’m trying to stop my bare thigh rubbing against the other” but this then brings up the question by weirdo, simulated, perfect people who have no flesh on their bones of “why are your thighs rubbing together?”  I defy anyone to run without inner thighs brushing against the other unless you run bow-legged. And then there’s the fact that people want to look at the bare thigh in question because bare thighs arouse interest. And if you say nothing and adjust stuff, hands down pants? Weirdo. Pervert. Hello, are you available?

Sometimes you just have to put your hands down your pants...