Merde! Whatever...

I was sitting on the wall of the Cairns Esplanade, as I do every Sunday morning après run and swim, drinking coffee and watching the tide come in. I was also listening in, quite unashamedly, on a conversation between two French tourists. From what I could work out, from my high school French, it was all about another woman and a man and they were pretty pissed off at her because he shouldn’t be seeing her. I suspect he was supposed to be with one of the other woman. The thing that fascinated me about their convo was the word ‘whatever’ was sprinkled liberally among the flying French words.

Elle est moche. Je ne vois pas pourquoi il aime sa mais whatever.

Il peut avoir. Whatever. Eiffel Tower. Sacre Blue. 

Pierre veut simplement le sexe – vol au vent! Lacoste. Peu!

Whatever! Il est un cochon! Me donner gateau! Whatever. Croissant! Éclair! Merde!

J'espère que sa balle tomber! Whatever. Poisson!    

Whatever! J'ai besoin de café avec mon gâteau!

Me donner vin! Patisserie!!! Arc de Triomphe! 

Merde! Whatever! Pompadour!  

Note to self...

I was doing my usual Sunday morning run along the Cairns Esplanade, nodding and hello-ing the usual people and I passed this woman. I always make a point of saying hello to her. She never says hello back. She looks straight ahead like she is totally focused on something. She’s painfully, to my mind unhealthily, stick thin. I’m guessing she’s anorexic. I don’t know. As she runs past, she worries me. A lot. When I see her, I think about how we do a lot of crazy, questionable and hurtful stuff to ourselves in the supposed name of beauty and wanting to fit in and how our mind is our best weapon but also our worst enemy. How do you control that? Fix it? Is self belief enough? Do you stop reading about who and what is perceived as supposedly beautiful so you don’t measure yourself by that?  Too fat? Too thin? Seriously, when you think about it, who made up the rules that have been driving women crazily obsessing for centuries?  When will we allow ourselves to make our own rules and stick by them?

As for the woman? I’ll still keep saying hello to her. Maybe one day she’ll say it back. Maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll want to chat to the crazy haired, sweaty woman who drives her mad every Sunday morning by saying hello. I’m always up for a chat about stuff. 

All the news that's fit to read...

And on seesaw Sunday nights, I'd woo who ever I would with my wicked eye! –- Dylan Thomas

It’s cold here so I left my pajama top on because it was really warm, and threw on trackie dacks (track pants) and a jacket and went to the bakery this morning. Three people remarked on the bright pink pajama top. I think I’ve started a trend. Watch for it on the Paris catwalks.

Today, I wrote much and discussed the possibilities of a tequila swigging cat, that shape shifts into a guardian to save a werewolf and to fight a beast, with the smart writers of the legendary Frogspond. Will it get published? Sure, why not? No crazier than any other book out there.

“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” –Woody Allen

From The Sunday Mail…

Front page - “Man kept finger in esky hole to keep his friends afloat” – Esky = portable beer/bait/food cooler….anyway the boat these guys were on sank and they clung to an esky for hours until saved. So the moral of the story? When someone says ‘pull your finger out’ it may just be saving your life so leave it in.

Page 7 – “…cooked cockroach was found in a barbeque meat lover pizza.” It begs the question…is a cockroach a meat? Any theories?

Page 15 – There has been this commercial on Oz TV with a woman pretty much telling her boyfriend ‘Toddy’ to propose to her or else. Apparently the commercial annoys people but also “the 18 to 30-year-old Sex in the City demographic responded to the ad and awaited the sequel with baited breath.” Ah, threatening-or-else-romance…what a beautiful thing.

Page 21 – “Police have charged a man they believe ran on to a southeast Queensland racetrack dressed in a Scooby Doo costume.” ‘They believe’? He either did or didn’t and I don’t know about you but someone dressed as a cartoon dog is pretty much obvious to me.

Page 25 – There is a story about middle-aged mothers becoming bulimic due to "unrealistic portrayals of yummy mummies on shows such as Desperate Housewives and Sex in The City…” How sad is it when people look at TV for heroes/heroines. These skinny broads aren’t real. Look at the people around you that you like and admire. Are they perfect or skinny or even worried about being ‘cool’ – give me ‘hot’ and non-skinny, real people any day.

Page 27 – “Bursting with Love”….couple have marriage ceremony in hospital after burst appendix. Bride wore white…as did the nurses…the orderlies…the surgeons…

Page 34 – Tiger snake found in box of bananas at the Rocklea Markets. It came down from up north. You’ll be pleased to know the snake got free passage back on a returning truck and bananas were sold.

Page 51 – international news – ‘Seems a Swiss court has decreed a noisy chook has to be locked up from 10pm to 7am in a specially insulated box so it’s human neighbours can sleep. I have to wonder what this wild chook is doing that it getting everyone all hot and bothered.

Page 6 – from the lift-out – do you know you can now have a series of needles to make your boobs look bigger or perkier? Hmmm...if you believe that email me and I’ll sell you a nice little bridge on Sydney Harbour…oh and there’s an Opera House to go with it.

Page 17 – Cosmic Girl – according to the stars apparently today – Sunday - is a good day to dream or seduce – this goes right up to Wednesday - and Thursday is bad if you are obsessive. Good to know – so seduction up until Wednesday night and then stop seducing after that if you are obsessive or you may be considered a bunny boiler.

Page 25 to 27 – scary wedding photos. Have you noticed that in all wedding photos the couples look exactly alike? Scary stuff. I believe if you see someone who looks a lot like you – consider running in the other direction or you could end up in a scary wedding photo.

I was going to conclude with my stars but they suck so I’m just going to ignore them.

Have a peaceful Sunday

“Kiss me Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.” –from the Taming of The Shrew

www.AmarindaJones.blogspot.com
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

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hmmm...Sunday...

If we weren't all crazy, we'd just go insane--Jimmy Buffett

‘Been that kind of day really…like being in a Fellini film …back tomorrow – have a good Sunday

www.amarindajones.com
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

What? Sunday again...oh crap Monday tomorrow...

A friend sent me these Maxines this morning – I love Maxine. I want to grow up to be exactly like her. I believe I am on the way
It is cold here…yes, sure, it’s nearly winter but that doesn’t make it right. It’s also windy enough to blow a dog off a leash.

Update on Mervina the possum. I left the lights on under the house last night and will again tonight, as per my wise Editor’s suggestion. See? Editors have to deal with all manner of problems – anyway there was no sign of Mervina today. I suspect she is pissed off about not being able to wander around in the dark knocking things over – nor has she been able to sleep today as I kept the lights on. Jump out and scare me will you? I think not. You’re going bush whether you like it or not fatso.

I was talking to a reader who said that she wished she had the ‘gift of imagination’ so she could write. No one lacks imagination. It’s just a matter of belief in yourself and your abilities. As for writing? I have said this before but I believe anyone can write. I am sure there are probably
some authors that would disagree with this sentiment. But I think anyone that has a voice and spirit of their own can bang out a book. The only thing it takes is time and patience. If you can find both then have a go and write. No writers I know are any smarter than anyone else and you may just surprise yourself. Do it.

So, I would like to say I did something exciting today but I didn’t. The highlight was putting a colour through my hair – I have no idea what my natural colour is any more. I’m sure it’s not toxic red. And I schlepped around in my purple chenille dressing gown and rainbow fuzzy slippers for a large percentage of the day while I wrote the continuing story on from Tantalizing Tilly (coming soon from Ellora’s Cave) – though I have left out huge chunks of sex…in the book that is. I personally don’t do sex any more. I prefer chocolate and schlepping around in purple chenille. Same feeling anyway – instant gratification

and warmth. Anyway I typed in the usual notes on the WIP to myself – ‘insert sex here’. It’s hard to write sex sometimes. I also think that cold doesn’t help as things shrivel and it’s too cold for any of my characters to be naked so I am giving us all a break. What else did I do? Well, I de-trashy-fied a manuscript that a publisher wanted to see. What is de-trashy-fy? Yes, it is a made up word. Thanks for noticing.

With writing erotic romance - and I am sure I’ll get myself in trouble saying this but what the hell, that’s who I am – there are different types of erotica which I am sure you know. And no, I’m not saying any particular author writes porn so get a grip if you feel otherwise. Anyway, I write differently for different publishers. Well, it makes sense doesn’t it? Different publishers have

different markets. Anyway, I wrote this one piece of work that was probably – okay not probably, - was a lot hotter and also trashier than a lot of my usual work. I planned to give it to a particular publisher, different to my normal one, but in the end chose not to because I wasn’t happy with how trashy it was. Sure, it probably would have sold quite well but I think there are times in your life when money is not the most important thing. Yes – gasp – shock – horror. Who knew I would ever say that? I feel dizzy now. But there it is - I had a moment of integrity and I decided to de-trashy-fy the book. It’s still hot and it’s still ménage but I don’t wince as I read it.

And yes, there is always a debate over what is erotic romance and what is soft porn. I have my own thoughts as I know anyone reading this does. That’s good. Wouldn’t it be boring if we all thought the same? I respect anyone’s right to read and write what they like. I personally will draw the line. I wonder what Maxine would say? Hmmm…

So that’s Sunday…other then ignoring the doorbell, answering the odd phone call and as writing requires, eating junk food, that was the sum total of my existence. Oh yes, and I bought an Armitage Army t-shirt –for charity – because every Armitage Army soliderette has to support RA. So yes, quel non- excitement. What do thou doest today?

I suspect Anny could talk about sex on her blog – not sure. I know Kama Sutra Lovers will be out very soon through Ellora’s Cave - it will singe your eyelashes together. I have read snippets. Maybe she will be kind enough to add an eye singeing snippet on her blog. As for Kelly she is too much of a good girl for any singeing of bodily parts.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?