Sunday, 6 July 2008

All the news that's fit to read...

And on seesaw Sunday nights, I'd woo who ever I would with my wicked eye! –- Dylan Thomas

It’s cold here so I left my pajama top on because it was really warm, and threw on trackie dacks (track pants) and a jacket and went to the bakery this morning. Three people remarked on the bright pink pajama top. I think I’ve started a trend. Watch for it on the Paris catwalks.

Today, I wrote much and discussed the possibilities of a tequila swigging cat, that shape shifts into a guardian to save a werewolf and to fight a beast, with the smart writers of the legendary Frogspond. Will it get published? Sure, why not? No crazier than any other book out there.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” –Woody Allen

From The Sunday Mail…

Front page - “Man kept finger in esky hole to keep his friends afloat”Esky = portable beer/bait/food cooler….anyway the boat these guys were on sank and they clung to an esky for hours until saved. So the moral of the story? When someone says ‘pull your finger out’ it may just be saving your life so leave it in.

Page 7 – “…cooked cockroach was found in a barbeque meat lover pizza.” It begs the question…is a cockroach a meat? Any theories?

Page 15 – There has been this commercial on Oz TV with a woman pretty much telling her boyfriend ‘Toddy’ to propose to her or else. Apparently the commercial annoys people but also “the 18 to 30-year-old Sex in the City demographic responded to the ad and awaited the sequel with baited breath.” Ah, threatening-or-else-romance…what a beautiful thing.

Page 21 – “Police have charged a man they believe ran on to a southeast Queensland racetrack dressed in a Scooby Doo costume.” ‘They believe’? He either did or didn’t and I don’t know about you but someone dressed as a cartoon dog is pretty much obvious to me.

Page 25 – There is a story about middle-aged mothers becoming bulimic due to "unrealistic portrayals of yummy mummies on shows such as Desperate Housewives and Sex in The City…” How sad is it when people look at TV for heroes/heroines. These skinny broads aren’t real. Look at the people around you that you like and admire. Are they perfect or skinny or even worried about being ‘cool’ – give me ‘hot’ and non-skinny, real people any day.

Page 27 – “Bursting with Love”….couple have marriage ceremony in hospital after burst appendix. Bride wore white…as did the nurses…the orderlies…the surgeons…

Page 34 – Tiger snake found in box of bananas at the Rocklea Markets. It came down from up north. You’ll be pleased to know the snake got free passage back on a returning truck and bananas were sold.

Page 51 – international news – ‘Seems a Swiss court has decreed a noisy chook has to be locked up from 10pm to 7am in a specially insulated box so it’s human neighbours can sleep. I have to wonder what this wild chook is doing that it getting everyone all hot and bothered.

Page 6 – from the lift-out – do you know you can now have a series of needles to make your boobs look bigger or perkier? Hmmm...if you believe that email me and I’ll sell you a nice little bridge on Sydney Harbour…oh and there’s an Opera House to go with it.

Page 17 – Cosmic Girl – according to the stars apparently today – Sunday - is a good day to dream or seduce – this goes right up to Wednesday - and Thursday is bad if you are obsessive. Good to know – so seduction up until Wednesday night and then stop seducing after that if you are obsessive or you may be considered a bunny boiler.

Page 25 to 27 – scary wedding photos. Have you noticed that in all wedding photos the couples look exactly alike? Scary stuff. I believe if you see someone who looks a lot like you – consider running in the other direction or you could end up in a scary wedding photo.

I was going to conclude with my stars but they suck so I’m just going to ignore them.

Have a peaceful Sunday

Kiss me Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.” –from the Taming of The Shrew
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


barbara huffert said...

Awaiting the sequel to a TV commercial...sad.

Molly Daniels said...

No worse than those Folgers commercials several years back. Remember those?

Anny Cook said...

Yep. That's an old tradition. Back in my day, there were old Benson and Hedges commercials that everyone loved... just not the product.

You find the most amazing things in your paper. I await it with bated breath every Sunday. Thank you!

Katie Reus said...

Sometimes I wonder where people get their statistics. I'm in that demographic and though I haven't seen that commercial it sounds moronic.

Sandra Cox said...

Tequila swilling cat??? Now that's my kind of story. grin.

And speaking of jammy tops...I bought up a bunch dirt cheap and wore them as shirts. No one ever figured it out:)

Regina Carlysle said...

Like your story idea with the drunken cat. Fascinating, I think. Sorry I missed the conversaton about that. Sounds like it could be really funny.

I've never understood the threat thing..Hey! If you don't marry me,I'm outta here! Who wants a guy you have to BEG to MARRY YOU?