Friday, 21 November 2008

Spies like us...

Someone got sacked today at work and everyone was happy. In fact happy to the point of giggling with hysterical joy happy. We all got called into the boardroom to be told the news. The thing was we had all known at least an hour beforehand about it and everyone had a hard time keeping a straight face when told the news. So why were we so happy? The woman in question was just…well...plain pukeable.

It's a small office mostly made up of women. The best spies in the world would have to be women. Look at Mata Hari - sure she go shot for her spying - but the thing was she found out stuff. Women do that. You know what I mean. Send a woman a subtle glance or nod and she will be over to find out more. It's not gossip or snooping - its networking - and that's about finding out information that may be beneficial. How did I found out beforehand? I have a network of my own that provide me information that is useful. Forewarned is forearmed.

So back to the person that got sacked. No one liked her. Why? She just had a way of speaking to people like they were dirt and she did no work - no wait, I know what you’re thinking - everyone could be sacked for that. I am the queen of doing the wrong thing. But she consistently did nothing. I mean it. People would walk around and ask - what the hell does she do? The answer? Zip, zilch, nada and she refused to believe she needed to learn anything. This irritated everyone because in Australia, I can't speak for other countries, there is a belief in the workplace that no one is any better than anyone else and even if you are doing stuff all then at least try and act like you are busy. Also setting yourself above your fellow workers will get you cut down. We call it the tall poppy syndrome in Australia.

The hard thing was getting her to leave. She would not go. She sat and acted like nothing had happened - that she had not been dismissed. She had been told to go immediately yet she lingered. It was quite fascinating to watch - like the proverbial train wreck. Heads kept peeping like meerkats over the cubicle barriers to see what she was doing. It was almost scary. But eventually she left. We think it actually sunk in. About two minutes after she left people started to gravitate to her desk. Why? She had some good stationery and gizmos. We were all polite for a moment before we snatched stuff up left right and center. The managing director said it looked like hoard of locusts. In my defense I needed a new pen holder and hers was a beaut....

So that’s my day….awaiting another storm…
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?