So it was my birthday today. I say was because in Australia it’s all over now. I’m not big on birthdays – it has nothing to do with age. I’m 45. I am fabulous and I get more fabulouser… okay, maybe that’s not a word – maybe it should be. I just don’t get why adults celebrate birthdays. As a kid it was a big deal but now? What’s that about? It’s just another day.
Anyway, I went grocery shopping and while I was waiting for the bank to open so I could deposit a US cheque – by the way – just loving the exchange rate at the moment - there was this young bloke, maybe early twenties, who was standing with a clipboard and watching people. He looked like an anime character. He was thin, tall and sort of had this spiky hair that I suppose was hot or mod or sick or maybe pukeable – whatever the latest term is – okay – I know pukeable is my made up word but I am doing my best to get it out there into everyday use…so…where was I…pukeable, anime, bank – ah yes – the bloke…so me, being me, said who are you targeting? No one just stands with a clipboard in a busy shopping centre without some reason be it counting the number of people with red hair or body odour or wearing silly hats – speaking of hats what’s the deal with wearing baseball caps back to front? Yes – I can actually see why baseball players do. They need to see the ball and to swing – and my father told me the men who collected garbage when he was a kid in the early 40’s used to in order to stop rubbish sliding down the back of their clothes – but why do people do it today? It strikes me as very nerd-like…
….anyway…back to the anime character with the clipboard - he was supposed to target anyone who looked like they were mid teens to mid twenties and looked like they had an expendable income. Isn’t all income expendable – it comes in – it goes out? He of course meant spending untold amounts of money on crap because someone told them it was cool. I said well that’s not me. I don’t do anything because someone tells me to. That’s one of my biggest problems. He just smiled politely. So why was he seeking out young spend thrifts with their no will of their own? Some whiz bang technical thingy that I lost consciousness over while he described it but it will either save the world or clear up your complexion or make sandwiches.‘Lastly – I heard on the news that the best bums – butts, arses or asses if you will – are in Brazil and France. Well, that’s important isn’t it? I will sleep better knowing that – and it takes the pressure off all other countries because now we can let are arses go to rack and ruin as we have nothing to uphold…
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