Zombie free zone...

So, every zombie called in sick today at work. On a Monday. To be honest, being the only one in the office was like a normal working day because the zombies never speak unless they are in fear of missing out on free food.

The world’s second most boring man, let’s call him Lester, who is in the Sydney corporate office and I do not answer to in any way, shape or form, called me, to justify his existence, after I sent the email to Sydney advising I was the only one in the office today.

Lester: - So, no one but you is in the office?

Me: - Correct

L:- So, zombie one isn’t there?

Me: - No

L:-Is zombie two also away?

Me:- Yes, did you read my email?

L:- Yes I did. Is zombie three there?

Me: - Did I write that he was on the email? I wrote no one in the office but me. By no one I mean not a soul, nada but for me, on my Pat Malone, bugger all, zombie free.

L:- I wasn’t sure when you said everyone was away that you meant the whole office.

Me:- Uh huh

L: So, no one’s coming in?

Me:- No Lester

L: - So, it’s just you?

Me: - Correct

L: - No one else is expected in?

Me: - Is there a point to this conversation Lester?

L:- what do you mean?
Me:- what do you want, Lester?
L:- just checking who’s in.
Me: - dead silence
L:- So, you’re not expecting anyone in.
Me: - dead silence
L:- So, it’s just you?
Me: - Bye Lester

Reply email from Lester. “Thank you for your email advising the absences in the office. Please advise when the staff come in to work today.”

Fuckwit.