“Have you got sponsorship was a condom company? You should because you write about them all the time.”
Yes – I do and that’s a good point. I must look into a sponsorship deal. Thank you for the email and the suggestion.
Recently at the Australian Romance Readers Convention in Melbourne I asked the audience at the erotica panel how they felt about condoms for the heroes. They didn’t like them. This makes sex hard…why? Because I don’t want the heroine getting preggers – yes, she’s on the pill but what if she missed a day? Haven’t we all done that? And, sexually transmitted disease is neither sexy nor romantic. So, write sex and be responsible yet make it romantic and not awkward – well – that’s just sex for you isn’t it? Touch me there – not so hard – oh harder – faster – slow down, what’s your rush? Hurry up I’m going to come – where’s the condom – no condom ? Bummer - today’s Monday right - so if I take Sunday’s missed pill today with Monday’s and throw in Tuesday’s for luck – a orange condom – seriously - who even makes those? Well, yes a condom is important - I’ve never looked good in orange – What? I know I’m not wearing it – well hurry up then – where are you going to put it when we finish – oh no, not in my Little Miss Kitty waste basket – I wonder what’s on television – don’t put it in there – why? I’m not in the mood – oh yeah there’s good – you weigh a ton – do I look fat to you? O-o-o-h my goddddd…I have a leg cramp…
I was given some free books at the convention. One of them was about a surgeon who got his nurse preggers. She did the angst ridden oh-dear-he’s-going-back-to-tend-the-sick-in-upper-Kumbucka-west-how-noble-I-will-not-tie-him-down-with-me-and-a-child-so-I’ll-go-off-and-tell-everyone-it-was-a-virgin-birth…..riiiight. I have to ask why are all these doctors getting nurses in an ‘interesting condition.’ I know it’s fiction but as I reader I have to wonder if they missed the lectures on how babies are made. I know when I was at uni I often skipped lecturers but it only have got me a lower grade and never pregnant.
This made me laugh and reminded me of someone a long time ago….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXsn3hZYhO8
The contest finishes at Midnight Monday – scroll below and email me your entry if you haven’t – if have you have than thank you. There is an Amarinda contest this week too…who am I again? I have no idea sometimes. Rowdy is released at Ellora’s Cave on Thursday.
www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Monday, 16 March 2009
I got another condom email….
Monday, 23 February 2009
So....
…when I left you last I was wandering up to the Australian Romance Readers Convention via Chinatown and the Greek precinct. They were interesting but pretty much like any ethnic hub. I was most amused at the grotty alleys in Chinatown that had names like Celestial Lane - can junk and chaos ever be celestial? If so I have been celestial most of my life without knowing it.
Eventually I made my way up to the Convention for the e-book panel. It was most interesting – the usual questions were asked – what the hell are e-books? How do I get one? How can I write one? When is lunchtime? I was most surprised – I won a big bag of books…hmm…more creative packing required for the trip back to Briz. I swore blind I would not buy any books…but then I swear a lot. I spoke to Borders book stores, selling books there, who told me they had sold lots of books but they did not have mine there. My books were with another bookseller but it was nice to think they even knew who the hell I was as most of the time I had my name tag on backwards.
I met the lovely Aggie from JERR – Just Erotic Romance Reviews – so that was great – a lot like old home week. It was nice to put names to faces. The other nice/surprising thing was the amount of readers who tapped me on the shoulder and asked for autographs as I wandered around. I like that more informal book signing. I spoke to other readers who bought my books after specifically hearing me use the dreaded cock, penis and fuck words. So, there you go – being bad can be good.
I am eagerly awaiting the results of the silent auction for the Victorian Bushfire victims. I bid on something I really wanted – was gzumped a couple of times but gzumped back and when I left I was in the lead. Toy with me? I think not. So fingers crossed. But, all in all it was good to see so many people getting into the spirit of it. Last time I spoke to the organizers it was up to the $5,000 mark in bids. I’m sure that has surpassed that.
After farwelling my editor – who may I say has a much bloody heavier suitcase than me – I wandered off to the Queen Victoria markets and bought some Melbourne souvenirs that I will use in an upcoming contest – so keep your eyes peeled for those…how does one peel their eyes? Anyway…I also went to the Old Melbourne Gaol (Jail for non Commonwealth types). If you are ever in Melbourne, Australia, hot foot it to the Gaol as they have the best tour there. Essentially you get arrested and treated like a criminal. No, I have never been arrested and no, I am not into BDSM though handcuffs are always fun…er…so I have heard. Anyway the Sargent who did the arrests was so good – she scared the crap out of the younger visitors because they did not twig she was an Aussie actor – Wendy Huggins (apologies if I spelled you name wrong Wendy). She made the experience really enjoyable – you know as much as being arrested can be – and I congratulated her on it.
After that I wandered Melbourne some more and crashed back at the hotel, dumped my heavy bag of goodies on the floor and me on the bed, absolutely knackered. And hell yeah, I am off playing tourist again today. It’s my last day down south so I plan to make the most of it.
What I have learned from this little adventure? That conventions are an amazing slice of life but it’s not real life and it has reinforced to me once more not to believe your own publicity and just be yourself.
Off to brekky…
Amarinda
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Infinity and beyond…
www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
Possibilities...
So, I'm packed...ready for a 6am Friday flight to Melbourne. I was talking to the man who makes my coffee every morning and he said there's something about getting on a plane and just flying away that is exciting. Yeah, there is. It's the infinite possibilities of the unknown. That, or just getting out of work for 5 days.
My bag is too heavy of course. I have to make sure I have a male check-in attendant because I may have to employ some flattery/flirting/crying to get out of the excess baggage. I have made it all worst by bringing down something to be auctioned off in the silent auction at the Australian Romance Readers Convention for the bushfire victims. But it’s a good cause and I can be disgustingly charming when I want to get out of something.
So, I'll leave you with this song. Click here. I was singing it on the way out this morning...no, not going to LA but it's an airplane song and I dedicate it to Miss Moon who threw me out of the Girl's Brigade when I was six years old for excessive blaspheming. She hated this song. She said it made her want to scream. Excellent. It was on the charts at the time. At six, the chuck out experience taught me two things - 1. Religious dictatorships never work and 2. I will never be a team player. It wasn't my first chucking out - got thrown out of the Girl Guides 6 years later for smoking - and it won't be my last.
www.amarindajones.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Been at….
…the hairdresser getting the two tone grey and brown effect washed out and my usual intense red foils done so my editor will recognize me at the Australian Romance Readers Convention when we meet…or maybe she will do a runner when she sees me or anyone with reddish hair…you can run but you can’t hide….
That’s it other than the TV guy came today. My television, which I rarely ever watch bar for news and Jack on 24, is working but it’s not. The switch at the side is buggered – that’s probably not the technical term. I could turn it on but not off unless I use tweezers to pull the button out in order to turn it off – I’m very mechanical – not. Yes, I did have vague visions of being electrocuted. How did she die? Death by tweezers. The idiot box is under warranty still so out he came to fix it.
- Why don’t you turn it on at the remote like everyone else does?
- Well I’m not like everyone else.
Enough said… 
Ménage romance Playing For Real by Madison Blake is out now at Ellora’s Cave…check it out – warning – the excerpt below is adult rated - and yes it's another click on the cover and buy moment.
Remembering the discussion he wanted to have with Ethan, Adrian moved down his lover’s body and gave his cock one regretful lick before sliding up to settle beside him. “You were in a hurry tonight.” He referred to their wild coupling.
Ethan raised his head and supported it on an upraised palm. They stared at each other intently before he answered wryly, “So were you.”
Though he had always been able to speak with reasonable frankness with Ethan, his usual embarrassment with Shelli overcame him just then. His gaze slid away. “I, uh, there’s something I have to tell you. I don’t know how you’d feel about it but I’d appreciate if you could, uh, that is, keep an open mind—”
“Is it Shelli?” Ethan interrupted.
Adrian’s gaze flew back to him in a hurry.
“Have you suddenly realized what a desirable woman she is, how frustrated she made you feel tonight and you want to fuck her but you’re afraid she doesn’t like you in that way?”
With each phrase, Adrian nodded, though he was bewildered as to how Ethan could know what he was feeling. They were close and could almost read each other’s minds but this—
“Good,” Ethan said with a savage light in his eyes. “Because I feel the same way.”
Incredible joy ricocheted through him. “You do?”
“Yes. So now we go about seducing the lovely Shelli Madison.”
Now that he knew Ethan shared his goal, Adrian was able to voice out his doubts. “But tonight, it didn’t seem like she wanted to fuck us. For one thing, she flirted with all her colleagues when she wouldn’t even give us the time of day, though we were supposed to be her dates.” He sent Ethan a sardonic smile. “For another, she went off with that guy and let him have his way with her.” He looked curiously at his lover. “What did you do to him anyway?”
Ethan cracked the knuckles of one hand and sent him a very satisfied smile. “Let’s just say he won’t be bothering Shelli anymore.”
A sudden thought struck him. “You didn’t beat him, did you?”
“No,” Ethan said, annoyed. “I don’t want to get Shelli into trouble. I just warned him very succinctly and fiercely what would happen to his crown jewels should he go near Shelli again.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have. What if she fancied him?” Adrian sighed and shook his head. “Because it sure looks like she’s very satisfied being just friends with us.”
“We’ll just have to change her mind.”
Which was just what he was thinking earlier on. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship for the sake of a fuck, Ethan..”
“We won’t,” Ethan said impatiently. “Look, I was there at the party too and I saw what you saw and I agree, your interpretation of things could be right. But what if—for the sake of argument—what if she’s hot for us the way we’re hot for her? She could be confused and bewildered at her new feelings and so, she hid behind safe and known actions. Until I get a definite ‘no’ from her, I’m not giving up.”
With each word that Ethan uttered, Adrian felt hope springing from within him. “What’s the plan?” Adrian had a good brain and if applied diligently, he could have come up with something. But Ethan’s was more cunning and he always had a lot of tricks up his sleeve.
That was why he knew better than to interrupt when Ethan’s eyes lost their focus the way they always did whenever he was thinking. But when he laughed some time later, Adrian knew his lover had hit onto something.
“I’ll tell you about it later,” Ethan promised as he lay back on the bed. “But now, shouldn’t you continue what you were doing with my cock?”
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Here’s the thing…..
Everything I write on www.amarindajones.blogspot.com is my own personal opinion. I’m allowed to have one. I’m lucky to be free. Freedom to me means talking and acting without fear or favor. It’s about being true to yourself. This blog - www.amarindajones.blogspot.com - is called “Go ahead, give an opinion.” So I do. My opinion is untainted by what anyone else thinks because it’s what I think. Now, I can only say if you find that unsettling to your senses then you must not read www.amarindajones.blogspot.com for the good of your emotional well being. I will also say I will not now or ever change to fit in with a few. And I have found trying to start a blog war, while it may increase blog readership, is pointless. So comment or not – read or avoid the blog – email me or not. That is your choice as it is mine to write what I do.
So enough of that silliness…OMG…packing…holy snapping ducks! While I knew I had put together some nice Amarinda promo stuff for the Australian Romance Readers Convention starting 20th Feb in Melbourne, Australia - drinks night and meet my editor day, let’s hope her eye twitching has stopped after the last lot of edits she did for me – I was not seriously aware of the volume. When I do stuff I do it to the max, however after viewing all the things that I had tossed on the bed in the 2nd bedroom, the words ‘camel through the eye of the needle’ came to mind as I looked from the stuff to my nifty scarlet suitcase…hmmm…e=mc2 or in this case e = not- bloody-going-to-fit….what to do, what to do? Can I wear all my clothes down on the plane in the heat of summer? Act casual as I drag an enormously heavy suitcase, the wheels buckling under the weight, plastic bags, strapped to the outside with black tape, bulging out and knocking people in the legs as I progress through the airport? Yes, I could do that. I am capable of such behavior – however, in the end – for an amazingly small cost I forwarded some stuff down south.
Melbourne – haven’t been their for donkey’s years. I once lived down south but no one up north holds that against me, we’re pretty relaxed in Queensland – in speech, attitude and dress. I did ask my editor, a Melbourne native, what ‘smart casual’ meant down there. Have you noticed how different parts of the country dress? In the sunshine state, and particularly in my suburb, it means clean thongs (flip flops) and clean sleep shorts with your singlet and with a squirt of deodorant under your arms. I’m joking of course, I have only seen three people wearing sleep shorts to the shops in the last week, so that’s not like its everyone. Anyway, I will turn up in my usual clobber (clothes) and be me – ‘damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.’
To be honest, I’m just looking to have some fun in Melbourne with H and have a wander around the city - the convention will be interesting and a bonus but I can’t take any of this writing business too seriously – okay, yes, I have the promo stuff – but I like to give stuff away if I can. I think writing can be summed up in this moment I had yesterday when I was buying my morning coffee. The café owner said she was only just talking to someone about me. The other person was apparently going into the city to meet an author – no idea who – but she was ‘very excited’. The staff mentioned me and my books – bless them – and said I worked close by. The person said ‘Oh, her books mustn’t be doing very well if she is still working.” This made me smile all day. People have strange, fixed perceptions don’t they? But I’m doing very nicely thank you very much….
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Friday, 28 November 2008
So busy, busy....
Work was interrupted today as a notice of cheap flights to Melbourne came zooming into my inbox. I had been waiting for this. I have a hotel booked in Melbourne - Australia - for the ARRC convention in February. See the logo on the left side. Anyway I had been waiting for the right fare. I saw it today. This meant downing tools and booking on line. But first I had to ring the Novotel on Collins in Melbourne to re-arrange bookings, ask dumb questions and then get them to send me confirmation. I like everything in writing. A big thanks to Lance at the Novotel for not losing his mind, being polite and retaining a sense of humour as I rang him twice to annoy him. So then I booked the flight. Done. Then I had to re-arrange my leave as I had taken extra time off than I needed as I wasn’t sure what I was doing. So, new forms had to be filled out. I also had to chat to online friends and wander aimlessly around the room gossiping – all while attempting to look like I was working. Damn, I’m good at that. So - busy, busy, busy.
I leave you with these wise words from Cindy Lauper –
She bop, he bop, a-we bop, I bop, you bop, a-they bop, be-boop, be boop-a-loo-bop.
I think we can all learn something from that.
www.amarindajones.com
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Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Flaming heck…
Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.” –Alan Dean Foster
I came home to a messy house. No one to blame but myself. I am a messy person. A friend of mine said what happens when you die and someone has to sort through your assorted junk? Well, I’ll be dead…it won’t be my problem will it?
The other day I got this email from someone I had not spoken to in ages. It came out of the blue and I still don’t know what this person was on about. The email rambled on about nothing that meant anything to me because I had cut ties with this person ages ago. So why the email? Yes – it was one of those WTF moments. I was pissed off at first because I thought who is this person to be disturbing my peace with their childish ramblings about nothing? Why do I have to try and waste my time and decode it? Maybe they were having a cathartic moment. Maybe they were just having a hissy fit. Maybe their undies were too tight. Whatever….next time I am just hitting the delete button because life is too short to deal with people who disturb your peace.
probably spitting the dummy about something that has been on her mind and now she decided to have the urge to purge. I just wished she chosen someone who knew what the hell she was talking about because it was lost on me. Flames…are more flames better than one? What am I talking about? The other night I got this email asking was I happy with one flame or two? Yes – it has been a confusing couple of days for me. I eventually worked out that I was not being asked if I was a pyromaniac – it was about sex. Yes, tricky huh? Flames equal sex. Remember in the old soap operas when the camera used to pan to a burning candle in the bedroom of the lovers and you knew from that they were having sex? Sort of similar.
My Cerridwen Press books – under the name Janet Davies – where released at All Romance e-books. Click here if you want to see the flame thing. They have one flame. That indicates heat level – as in sex – not as in my toes are cold and I am cranky. One flame means pretty tame. Well, yes – my Cerridwen Press books have tame sex. For more sex see the Amarinda books. Interestingly enough, I get feedback from readers who say that they have read my Cerridwen books after the Ellora’s Cave books and apart from the level of sex, they have the same feel as the Amarinda books. Well – yes – I am the same person but I recognize some people want different things in books. So, I give you a choice between genres.
Back to the flame thingy. I said I was okay with the one flame. Some authors are not though. I asked some writers why they felt they needed the extra couple of flames. One author pointed out that some of her books, although tamer sex than an erotic novel, needed to be changed in heat level to stop unsuspecting readers picking up a one flame book and getting a two flame book. In essence not getting what they paid for. Fair enough. Another author emailed me privately and said it was all about sales and that the more flames they had the more the book they would sell because people wanted to buy books with sex in them. O-kay. At least that is in-your-face-honesty. She wants to make money so she wants more flames on her book to induce people to buy. I can’t fault that logic. And yes, writers write for money. You all know that. I hope that her readers aren’t too pissed when they get a 1 flame book expecting 3.So what’s in a flame? Any opinions? Are you a one flamer like me or do you demand the whole match box be lit up?
“One thing I don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.”
-- George Carlin quotes
I mentioned I was going to the Australian Romance Readers Convention in Feb 09 in Melbourne, Australia. Click here to find out more. I just have been speaking to a bunch of Aussie Authors on a Yahoo loop. It good to see so many Aussies writing romance and doing bloody well at it.
That’s it. I am going out now to get the washing off the clothes line – no - please do not get too excited at the glamour of my life.
Sunday – may yours be peaceful and housework free.
www.amarindajones.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AmarindaJonesNewsletter/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
Monday, 28 July 2008
Speed....
…back on track - the convention – author speed dating - no, it's not about romance for the dramatic and the lovelorn. It actually allows authors to have ‘their five minutes of fame’ to talk about themselves and what they write. It's an interesting concept to introduce new authors to the world. Only problem is, I wonder if an author can stop talking about themselves after 5 minutes? I suspect not. We are a long winded bunch. We cannot restrict ourselves to describing something, when asked to, in two short sentences. I have yet to meet an author who can send in a 'short' excerpt. But for all that we are an interesting bunch. How do I know? I just do. Not like I’d lie about the fabulousness of authors.
Could I tell the Amarinda Jones story in five minutes? Yeah, I could do it. Anyone who has ever worked in a call center and has had to rattle off a ridiculous amount of standard script in 3 minutes and not allow the customer to speak unless prompted to can easily blurt out their condensed life story. Will I do it? No, I'm not planning to.
So that brings me to speed dating. A bunch of men and a bunch of women get together. The women sit at tables and the men rotate and spend 5 minutes talking to each woman. Sort of like musical chairs. You get to meet a lot of people in a short time and generally if you like someone you mark a card and then some speed dating fairy hooks you up with any interested partners. If you were you looking for a man do you think you would you do it? Do you think you can get a good idea of someone in 5 frantic minutes? I am a greater believer in love at first sight. I know it happens - been there and done that – though it was really more like “you are so annoying and yet I must have you.” Ah, those were the days. So yeah, I don’t see why you cannot meet someone great in 5 minutes. You can know someone for years and suddenly think ‘crap I don’t like you’ – so time, to me, is irrelevant.
I generally write books where the heroine and hero meet and everything happens really quick and crazy and inhibitions are thrown to the wind in a what-the-heck-we'll-never-see-each-other moment. No, I don’t recommend that for everyone. It takes a certain type of madness to do that. Besides it's a fantasy and from the letters I get from readers the idea of a frantic moment with a handsome man appeals to many. So, I can see how speed dating could work for some people. And, let’s face it, our impressions are formed about someone in the first couple of minutes.Everything in life is about time and timing isn’t? Time to meet someone and being in the right place at the right time. So why not speed dating? Sure, there is a high chance you'll meet no one special and but you will have a laugh. And who knows, you may just meet the one.
I read the top 10 speed dating tips for women. They are -1) Laugh – be happy – well duh…
3) The big freeze; a major turn off – look friendly…another big duh.
8) Emulate Marilyn Monroe – but watch out for subway grates unless you have your good knickers on.
9) Listen up ladies – if he talks about living with his mother, his bottle top collection and the book he is writing on the body language of goldfish then consider moving on
10) Read his signs – hmm...you're putting in a lot of work here...what is he doing for you?
(Parts taken from http://flirt.ninemsn.com.au/top-10-speed-dating-tips-for-girls/)
Before I left work this arvo, a colleague told me about a man she met chatting online. I thought to myself, this is really the way romance seems to be going. You chat for hours with someone you don’t know, you build a rapport and then you meet. It’s kind of sweetly old fashioned and who am I to say it’s not normal? After listening to her talking about him, I actually left work with a smile on my face…that doesn’t happen every day. And er, no, I’m not going to be going online any time soon…
Have an unpukeable Monday if you can
www.amarindajones.com
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Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
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