I left the house open…

I had the TV dude come around today while I was at work to install a TV antenna. I’m in a mountainous area where the reception is limited. I never watch much TV normally but it was more a case of when I want to zone out I require more than just the news channel and an ethnic TV station.

Anyway he came when I was out and I left the house open for him. House. Open. Unlocked. I left the house open so he could get in and do TV stuff. I left the house open so a complete stranger could come into my home. I. Left. The. House. Open. Me. The woman who has limited trust did that. That’s frigging huge. I still can’t believe I did it. Am I worried about someone taking my stuff? No. As my father pointed out they’d probably break in and want to leave money on the table as I like old, 1930’s furniture and they'd probably would feel sorry for me. It’s more that up until a year or so ago I trusted absolutely no one but myself. But then, something world shaking happened that made me place a huge volume of trust in another and the trust thing seemed doable.

So, I left the house open…amazing, Grace. Whatever next?

Basic instinct....

Rarely would I quote Donald Trump but he's right.....

“Experience taught me a few things. One is to listen to your gut, no matter how good something sounds on paper. The second is that you're generally better off sticking with what you know. And the third is that sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make.”

Exacty. People. Life. Situations. Go with your first gut instinct and move away if it's not right for you. In the end, it's all about trusting yourself. Tomorrow I shall do that.

Men and sex and stuff...

I was talking to a friend at work about men and sex and the stuff. She was worried about how she couldn’t trust some men to be faithful. Well no, you can’t. The same can be said of some women. While I don’t condone screwing around and upsetting your lover, I also know some people are never going to be able to do monogamy. It’s not in their nature.

And as for trust? To me it comes down to this – trust yourself and your instincts about another. Take the blinders off and really look at your lover without sex interfering.

As for monogamy? I’m not sure if it exists any more. Invest in condoms, accept all human beings falter and fail and sometimes loving the one you’re with is more important than chaining him to your wrist.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

If Prince Charming….

…showed up at my door right now with a glass slipper for me to try on ‘cause he knew I was ‘the one’ and he wanted to share his heart and kingdom with me, I’d tell him to rack off. Why? I’m just not into romance at the moment. Sure, okay, yes, maybe for a moment I would probably hesitate at the offer of the kingdom deal but it would not be enough to sway me. Why? I don’t trust romance and I don’t trust men.

Yes, it’s probably not the thing to announce when you’re a romance writer but there it is. I’m having a hard time getting my hero and heroine together because she’s looking at him suspiciously and thinking ‘I just know you’re lying your arse off to sleep with me and I don’t think you’re worth the heartache’ and he’s confused because ‘isn’t this supposed to be a romance book I’m in?’ Yes, it is Mr Hero-type-person and shut up. Huh…men.

I believe when you write, as in anything, you throw life experience into your books. The things I have done in my books are things I have lived…maybe not with such gymnastic prowess – okay no where near it - but it’s my life. At the moment I am just so distrustful of men and in turn myself when it comes to them that I keep staring at blank pages and thinking maybe I’ll have the heroine take a vow of celibacy or something. While it’s great to have lots of books half written needing so little to be finished, it’s hard to write love and passion and romance when you just know the heroine would be so much better off without the hero. Maybe she could get a dog or a duck or an iguana for company. I feel, unlike men, you’d always know where you stood with an iguana.

I’m sure sometime soon I’ll get over this jaded funk I am in but until then does anyone know any reputable iguana suppliers?

www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book

Back on deck….

Yes – correct - Male Me is out now through Resplendence Publishing. Click on the cover to buy. And a big thanks to those who have already bought it and sent me some great emails about it. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Funny…

I woke up feeling like crap and I saw this comment on my blog. It made me laugh. Yes, spammers are nitwit losers. Honestly do they expect anyone to go over to a site just on their words of supposed wisdom? How desperate do they think people are? The comment is below….

I have seen some of the movies.Their life is so interesting, these bbw become more and more attractive, I meet a lot of chubby and sexy women on xxxxx they are really cute and hot, their fans are chatting and dating with these bbw on the site now, It is a real good place to meet your ideal love.
August 5, 2008 12:23 AM

My comment? Too many commas in that sentence and would you want a man that meets women like this? Ideal love? Puh-lease…loser alert.

Trust….

“People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.”-- Friedrich Nietzsche quotes

I read somewhere recently that someone was upset because another person was not telling them everything about their life. This pissed them off and they considered the other person false and deceptive and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember. The other person apparently only told them what they needed to know. This upset the first person as they considered it some reciprocal right to know more and when this was denied they got all pissy. I did not find this a particularly unusual situation nor is it hard to work out why one person holds information back. It’s all about trust isn’t it? If you don't trust someone you are hardly going to share information that is important to you. I am sure you will agree trust is paramount in any form of relationship and it you cannot trust the other person then you are hardly going to give all of yourself to them. But that’s logical. I don’t need to tell you that.

And do we ever really know anyone at all? I think not. I once worked with woman who I thought was together, articulate and had her whole life ahead of her. She jumped off a building and killed herself. It was a terrible shock to us all. It was such a waste of a good person. If I had of needed it reinforced to me that people hide things then that did it. You never know what demons are in someone’s life. You can ask but you cannot push it as people have the right to privacy and who they will trust. Could anyone have stopped what happened to her? Really understood her? We’ll never know. Her death stayed with me for a long time. I still think about her.

Trust no one unless you have eaten much salt with him.--Cicero

So, how much do you give of yourself? Me personally? If I totally believe and trust someone then I give 100%. I give everything. But, in the other extreme, if I believe a person to be false or insincere then they only get what I believe I can trust them with and that’s only specifics. But again, that’s logical. Holding stuff back is a defence mechanism. It’s there to protect you from getting hurt by someone you do not like or believe in.

One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life -- E.M. Forster.

I think it’s unreasonable and erring on the side of childish to expect someone you barely know to tell you everything about their life. If they don’t then I think you need to stop and ask yourself a couple of things – why won’t they tell you and why do you have to know? Can you not accept the person as they are? I believe by accepting someone for what they give you is more likely going to earn their trust than petulantly demanding it. And why the need to demand it? Why must you have it? Look within yourself for that answer. Don’t blame the other person. Some may give trust easily. That’s great. But the world, last time I checked, does not run on one person’s standards alone. If you are not given trust then think about earning it.

“You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink”-- Terry Pratchett quotes

What I read hit home to me that some people want the world to run on their standards and if it doesn’t they stamp their feet and blame that other person for denying them the privilege of full knowledge. How sad.

www.amarindajones.com
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Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?