Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Back on deck….

Yes – correct - Male Me is out now through Resplendence Publishing. Click on the cover to buy. And a big thanks to those who have already bought it and sent me some great emails about it. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.


I woke up feeling like crap and I saw this comment on my blog. It made me laugh. Yes, spammers are nitwit losers. Honestly do they expect anyone to go over to a site just on their words of supposed wisdom? How desperate do they think people are? The comment is below….

I have seen some of the movies.Their life is so interesting, these bbw become more and more attractive, I meet a lot of chubby and sexy women on xxxxx they are really cute and hot, their fans are chatting and dating with these bbw on the site now, It is a real good place to meet your ideal love.
August 5, 2008 12:23 AM

My comment? Too many commas in that sentence and would you want a man that meets women like this? Ideal love? Puh-lease…loser alert.


People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.”-- Friedrich Nietzsche quotes

I read somewhere recently that someone was upset because another person was not telling them everything about their life. This pissed them off and they considered the other person false and deceptive and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember. The other person apparently only told them what they needed to know. This upset the first person as they considered it some reciprocal right to know more and when this was denied they got all pissy. I did not find this a particularly unusual situation nor is it hard to work out why one person holds information back. It’s all about trust isn’t it? If you don't trust someone you are hardly going to share information that is important to you. I am sure you will agree trust is paramount in any form of relationship and it you cannot trust the other person then you are hardly going to give all of yourself to them. But that’s logical. I don’t need to tell you that.

And do we ever really know anyone at all? I think not. I once worked with woman who I thought was together, articulate and had her whole life ahead of her. She jumped off a building and killed herself. It was a terrible shock to us all. It was such a waste of a good person. If I had of needed it reinforced to me that people hide things then that did it. You never know what demons are in someone’s life. You can ask but you cannot push it as people have the right to privacy and who they will trust. Could anyone have stopped what happened to her? Really understood her? We’ll never know. Her death stayed with me for a long time. I still think about her.

Trust no one unless you have eaten much salt with him.--Cicero

So, how much do you give of yourself? Me personally? If I totally believe and trust someone then I give 100%. I give everything. But, in the other extreme, if I believe a person to be false or insincere then they only get what I believe I can trust them with and that’s only specifics. But again, that’s logical. Holding stuff back is a defence mechanism. It’s there to protect you from getting hurt by someone you do not like or believe in.

One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life -- E.M. Forster.

I think it’s unreasonable and erring on the side of childish to expect someone you barely know to tell you everything about their life. If they don’t then I think you need to stop and ask yourself a couple of things – why won’t they tell you and why do you have to know? Can you not accept the person as they are? I believe by accepting someone for what they give you is more likely going to earn their trust than petulantly demanding it. And why the need to demand it? Why must you have it? Look within yourself for that answer. Don’t blame the other person. Some may give trust easily. That’s great. But the world, last time I checked, does not run on one person’s standards alone. If you are not given trust then think about earning it.

You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink”-- Terry Pratchett quotes

What I read hit home to me that some people want the world to run on their standards and if it doesn’t they stamp their feet and blame that other person for denying them the privilege of full knowledge. How sad.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


barbara huffert said...

Accept a person as they are...what more should we all ask for?

Molly Daniels said...

Happy belated release day! I forgot to tell you yesterday.

Anny Cook said...

I suspect that no one completely trusts another person. There are always deeply hidden aspects of ourselves that we hold on to. Personally, there are parts of me that no one know--not even the house hunk.

Jacquéline Roth said...

I don't believe anyone is 100% forthcoming with others because I don't think most of us are 100% forthcoming with ourselves.

Regina Carlysle said...

A demand for every little secret from another is childish. We ALL keep some things private and why shouldn't we? Besides that, most people are in constant flux, always changing. What may be true and real for me NOW may be different in another year. Our opinions and thoughts are prone to change. That makes us human. I would certainly hate to be held to the standards I believe when I was 16 as opposed to now.

In the end, how much is given is a choice we all have.

Ashley Ladd said...

What a shame about your coworker. I just found out last night that a friend's child committed suicide. I feel so terrible for her and their family. You're right, we'll probably never know everything someone else is going through.