Friday, 29 August 2008


“No”…can you say that word? More importantly can you mean it and stand by it? For some it's a hard a thing to do. No is so final, so negative, so not going to happen. I think there is a great fear or worry behind the word no – that the perception is people will not like you or consider you hard. No is not a pleasing word. No invites confrontation. I believe this simple word puts great pressure on people because to be pleasant and polite and say “yes” is a lot easier than the possible ramifications of no. People always want to know why you are saying no and who are you to tell me no?

I have never been one to worry about saying no. There are just times when it has to be said. I've been doing that a lot over the past couple of days at work. It never makes you popular but people need to know the facts and that you are not one who caves under pressure, nor are you a soft touch. At work my personal belief is I am not paid enough to say yes when I know it will cause a drama. Besides, despite my half arsed attitude, I do understand business principles – the wheeling and the dealing - I know when someone is talking shite and wanting me to agree to it for it to make it easier for them to get away with something. Not on my watch mate. Make sense and I will most likely agree with you – talk rubbish and expect a no. But then, that's not much different to normal life is it?

Saying no to family and friends can be hard. You want to help or give to them but sometimes you just can't. Sometimes you have to step away or say no, I can't help. I'm lucky, the people that I care about understand, as I do them, that yes is not always possible and if I give a no then it’s not personal. Realistically, how can it be otherwise? You have to accept you are not going to please everyone all the time. It's not possible. Real people understand this. I believe those who don’t are too caught up in what they want to consider how their selfish needs will affect who they are asking.

I don’t see no as negative. I see it as powerful word. How can something negative be powerful? I look at it this way - if you are prepared to stand tough and stick to your guns and risk the threat of someone being unhappy with you then you are a strong person who knows their own mind and will not settle for anything less than what you believe to be true. That's power.

So – no is easy for me. That’s not to say I use it all the time but I believe at this stage I have the experience to make decisions and give tough answers people don’t want to hear. If I lose friends by that then I have to wonder if they where really friends at all.

Can you say no?

A Micah Blue moment – released September 3rd at Ellora’s Cave. For you chance to be in the random draw to win a copy along with other stuff click here.

“Holy crap.”
“I don’t think there’s anything holy about this, sugar,” Ned responded evenly.
“The sapphire proclaims her mine,” Mellifont announced in a voice that brooked no argument.
“What sapphire?” Micah looked down at glowing stone in her navel. “This tacky lump of glass is a sapphire?” She pulled it out and looked at it carefully.
“Looks that way.” Ned took the glowing stone from her hand. It dulled instantly. “It also looks like you have got yourself a dickheaded demon after you, sugar.”
“No way!”
Great, everyone else gets guardian angels but I get a fucking demon. Typical.
“Leave us now or die mortal.” Mellifont aimed the fireball at Ned.
“Mortal?” Micah looked from one man to the other.
“I don’t think so, Sonny Jim.” Ned stood his ground.
“This will not bode well for you. Your death will be painful.”
“All this over sex?” Micah was amazed. She hadn’t had sex in months and now she had two men, one who appeared to be a demon, wanting her body. She was both smugly pleased and horrified.
“No, it’s not a jealousy thing, sugar.” Ned held the jewel out to her. “It’s about this.”
“A lump of glass?” Micah was a little annoyed Ned had deflated her ego as he had.
“It’s a sapphire, my dear. Only the chosen can make it glow.” Mellifont looked at her with possession in his eyes.

Can you out run demon?
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


barbara huffert said...

No. There I said it. Now to say it when it matters. Usually I'm pretty good at that with a few unexplainable exceptions but everyone has weaknesses at times.

Just wanted to mention I received my PAPERBACK copy of Men of Heart yesterday. Cover is awesome in person!

Sandra Cox said...

That was a great excerpt. You are going to sell a kazzillion copies.
Are you still doing the supervisor thing?

Anika Hamilton said...

I don't have a problem saying no. Have a great weekend!

Anny Cook said...

No is very difficult to say when you have children and grandchildren and it's probably more important then than at any other time.

Good blog!

I'm so glad you have another book coming out! I'll have something wonderful to read next week at the doctor's office! Yes!

Regina Carlysle said...

NONONONONO. Damn, feel better now. I don't say it nearly enough. I don't like confrontation and wimp out way more than I should. It sucks but at least I'm being honest.

The excerpt is wonderful. Happy release next week. This sounds downright yummy.

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

I don't say it nearly often enough, but I think there's a 12-step program for that...

great excerpt, as usual.

Ashley Ladd said...

I need the 12 step program for saying "no". I'm somewhat better than I was.

I hate pushy marketers and I'm getting better saying "no" to them. Last Christmas one didn't want to take "no" for the answer and I finally got very annoyed when she was chasing down the mall after me and I asked "What part of 'no' don't you understand?" She let out a string of Spanish after that. I don't speak much Spanish but I imagine it was a bunch of choice curse words.