Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Could I? Should I?

Yeah, the old ‘what if’ of life. What if I had of done X instead of Y? Turned left instead of right? Said yes instead of no? Of course they are questions that can never be answered because you chose a direction and you took it and looking back on what may have happened is pointless. What am I on about? Good question. It’s about the fantasy of a meeting a man that is so hot, so sexy that you know in a heart beat that you were going to throw caution to the wind and have sex with him. A charming of stranger. Someone you don’t know. A wicked man that your mother warned you about but maybe secretly hoped you would meet. Would you? Could you? And more to the point should you? Is it a moral dilemma or just being bloody lucky? Why do I bring this up? Have I met a man like this? Uh, no…too busy for that. Would I? ‘Been thinking about that after a non writer friend gave me some honest feedback on my latest WIP. Her words? "What? Are you out of your mind? Would you seriously do that? Have sex with a hot stranger? " Well, being the pure at heart person that I am I said no, you know me – as if I would do anything wrong. Of course I wouldn’t. But why is this such a popular fantasy with women? Why does it sell books or make popular films? Are we all a bunch of perverts or we closet risk takers? Or, more to the point and what I believe, is it just because it is so outside out normal scope of life that the fantasy, and not the actual reality, of it appeals to us?

Look at the books where the pirate, highlander, sheik, werewolf, blue person, vampire, CEO, Lord, thief or whatever he is looks across the crowded room and the single, smart woman thinks ‘holy crap, the hot guy is looking at me.’ She then has this mad night of passion and the hero continues to pursue her with every romantic trick in the book. Now, come on, don’t tell me that’s not a fantasy that a lot of women would not like to dream about or read. And they do – hence why romance books make up half or more of the book market. We want to be able to live vicariously, if only for a moment, through a fantasy. And yeah, most of us know it may never happen or we would never do it but hell, for a couple of hours it’s fun to read about isn’t it? The people that tut-tut and say but the characters should have a relationship before they have sex are not wrong but you’re not reading an erotic romance for the hero and heroine to hold hands for half of the book are you? Erotic romance is hot and past paced. It’s like the thrill of sex. It’s fantasy and there’s nothing wrong with that. I also write mainstream romance where no one has sex until the end. It’s a balancing act between the two. It’s all about what you want the individual wants in a fantasy isn’t it?

What about the idea behind the movie Indecent Proposal where Robert Redford’s character offers Demi Moore’s a million dollars to spent the night with him? That’s a hell of a lot of money. Would you? If you were married? If you were single? If you normally considered yourself smart but $$ signs were dancing in your skull and you had bills up to your eyeballs? Could you turn that down? What point does it cross the line for you? And why is it a movie that so many people watched and wondered what they would do? It’s an interesting concept – and no, I’m not advocating everyone goes out and does it, but it’s something to think about isn’t it? And thinking, last time I checked, wasn’t wrong.

I know everyone has a moral code as to what is and isn’t acceptable to them. As discussed before on this blog and others, many writers who use a pen name write scorching OMG sex yet lead this normal, respectable life where no one knows about what they do. While I respect and understand why they keep it silent, I find that interesting. Most writers I know write because the passion burns in them so brightly that not to write would be beyond them. So they write what appeals to them or what sells lots of books. How hard would that be to go about your normally quiet existence when you have this ‘other’ secret life where you write erotica? Is that fantasy in itself? I believe so. People who write live part of their life thinking about fantasy and in some ways you have to be touched by it. But what about writing burning, steamy sex yet going to work everyday and being your other ‘normal’ self? Moral dilemma? Dreamer? Risk taker? I tend to think these people would make excellent spies as they have to hide a lot.

And yeah, I believe women are smart and strong and capable of making rational, wise decisions. They do it everyday, whoever they are – married, partnered, single, kids or no kids. And no, I know the majority of women aren’t about to expect a blue, highland, vampire sheik to appear in their life and give them a wild night of unforgettable, knee wobbling sex but hey, there’s nothing wrong with the fantasy now is there?

Good mate and author Sandra Cox tagged me. Because she is a good mate I will do the 6 quirky facts tag thingy although I don't get the whole tagging thing. What is the point of it? Please go to Sandra’s blog and ask her.

1. I can do the splits
2. I cannot say 'th' words properly unless I stop and fink or think about it first
3. I could have been a rocket scientist if I was any good at science
4. I can waltz very well
5. I would rather starve than eat baked beans - they are pukeable.
6. I know almost every piece of dialogue from Gone with The Wind

I'm not tagging anyone as this madness must stop. Sorry mate…but I have to end it.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


barbara huffert said...

A spy, now that's what I should have been. I write under my own name. My boss and a few others know that I write. I don't hide it but I don't advertise it at work either. Every now and then someone else discovers my "other" life and some of them have a little trouble believing it. Maybe they'll be more accepting when the blue twins show up to sweep me off my feet.

My word verification - nmmmm - must be something to that.

Sandra Cox said...

I'd do poorly as a spy the minute torture was mentioned, I'd spill my guts. Heck they wouldn't even have to mention it. Just give me 'The Look'.
Thanks for being a sport.
Can't do the splits, like baked beans and would you teach me to waltz?

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Blue highland vampire sheik. Oh Annnnnnnyyyyyyyy...

Molly Daniels said...

Hmmm...a million dollars to spend the night with Robert Redford...Hard to resist that man!

I hate ALL beans, except for peanuts and frozen peas. Cannot stand canned peas.

And I'm with Sandra. The minute any physical bodily harm was mentioned, I'd be spilling everything! Low threshold of pain here...

Anny Cook said...

The key to being a spy is to never be suspected of being a spy. Only bad spies have to worry about being caught, right?

Blue vampire sheik? Wonder how I would fit that one in? Hmmmmm.

Regina Carlysle said...

Okay Anny...this is soooo right for you. I personally think most women have active fantasy lives whether they admit it or not. We write the erotic stuff because we're either brave or crazy putting it all out there.

Ashley Ladd said...

I actually applied to the FBI so I could be a spy. God, how I wanted to. It sounded so exciting and I wanted to live excitement not only write about it. Alas, I was upfront about my hearing loss and they sent me for a hearing test first, and unfortunately, my hearing was too bad so obviously, I'm not a real life spy. But I think I'd have made a good one.

I made the mistake years ago of telling everybody I write, back before I wrote the erotic stuff and now people at church and work are always asking me about it and so I try to be vague and sidestep the questions. I don't bring it up myself with these two groups, but they have a long memory.