Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Just an observation…

Too tired to rant…this is just an observation about jealousy…I don’t understand it. A colleague of mine recently sent me a coldly polite email congratulating me on something I had done. I say coldly polite because it wasn't congratulatory. It smacked of someone who was pissed off…jealous. While it's nice to have acknowledgement, it's not necessary to me. My world still turns without the need for praise. So I have to wonder why this person felt the need to email me with a tight 'aren’t you lucky' type email. Lucky? Yep – the harder I work the luckier I get. But then, don’t we all?

I don’t understand how you can be jealous of someone you are never going to be - and what I mean by that is my experiences are not going to be yours or anyone else’s. Whatever you or I do will be because we made our own choices to do it or acted in a way for something to happen. The consequences are our own – good, bad or indifferent. Sure what I do may be similar to what another does but there is a bloody good chance neither of us a going to act in the same way or get

the same things as the other. We can wish for stuff to happen but to be jealous or to suggest someone is luckier to me is insane. I always find it odd when someone indicates they should have something they perceive I or another have for themselves.
The only time I sort of understand jealousy is in books and film - when it’s used to give the reader/viewer an insight into the characters emotions - he/she is falling in love but is insecure or scared. Or maybe used to portray the pursuit of power or greed. Passion, anger and possessiveness I understand. Jealousy to me is a dumb arsed bi-product of these and honestly when it all comes down to it you can only be yourself and being jealous of another is counter-productive. There ain’t nothing going on in my world to be jealous of.

See, told you it was not a rant…I just don’t care enough to rant over something so stupid. However, in lieu of that check out the excellent excerpts below that illustrate exactly what I mean when jealousy can be used in a book to portray emotion to a reader. And yes, it’s another click on the cover and buy moment.
Dragon in the System by Cindy Spencer Pape - Available now at Cerridwen Press
**Amarinda note – I have read this one – it’s an excellent book

"So where does the babe come in?"

Eric flashed him a snotty look. "Her name is Lori and I'm getting to that."
He finished off the dregs of the so-called coffee and tossed his mug back onto its usual corner of his desk. Then he recounted the events of Friday and Saturday nights, leaving out very little except for his constant frustration since that first kiss. That, he assumed, David would be able to infer on his own. "So I called her Sunday and she blew me off. Then yesterday at lunch time, I saw her sitting with this Antonio Banderas look-alike," he finished glumly. "When Celia asked me out, I knew I should go, but somehow, I couldn't. I just don't want to be with Celia. I want to be with Lori."

Garvaglia laughed. "Dude, you have got it bad!"

"Shut up, jackass!"

The insult only made David laugh harder. "Oh, man and I thought this was going to be a boring semester. Boy was I wrong! This is going to be fun to watch."

Eric snorted and threw a wad of paper across the tiny space at his friend's head. "What's there to watch? She blew me off. She had lunch with some cover model. It's over."

"Man, haven't you learned yet that women are never that straightforward?"
Babies in the Bargain by Mona Risk – coming soon to The Wild Rose Press

Holly entered the elevator. Marc followed and pushed the button for the first floor. She banged the fourth floor button with her knuckles. “If you have to fight to protect your multitude of female friends, you’ll spend your life doing nothing else.”
In the confined space, Marc’s clean, masculine scent enveloped her like a warm cloak, robbing her mental faculties of their usual alertness. She took a small breath and pressed her back against the wall of the elevator, wishing to disappear through it. Right now, she badly needed the privacy of her own room to sort out her feelings.
Dios mio, what are you talking about?” His forehead creased, his face a mix of surprise and hurt. “What multitude of female friends?”
Even when the shadows in his eyes reminded her of his grief, the man oozed sex-appeal.
As they stepped out of the elevator, she crossed her arms to prevent him from noticing her shaking fingers. “You don’t owe me any explanations. We’re colleagues. Period.”
“Colleagues, hmm.” Huffing, he flapped his arms in frustration.
Turning her back on him, she strode toward her on-call room.
He accelerated his pace and caught up to her. “Understood. Colleagues. But colleagues can be friends, can be concerned about each other. Right?”
“Forget it.” She glanced at him and shrugged, not ready to get entangled in a definition of specific words. “Earlier today, I tried to soothe your pain. Others are entitled to do the same for you. So don’t feel obligated to reciprocate by trying to protect me.”
“Wait a minute.” Marc paused as they reached her room. “Others? You mean Jenna, right? She tried to force herself through my door. Didn’t you see me preventing her from entering my office?”
Holly bit her lip and nodded. Why was she so upset?
Good grief, she was jealous of Jenna and worried stiff about her own new bout of attraction to Marc.

Have a good, peaceful Tuesday. And Jealousy? Kick it to the curb. Isn't life complicated enough?
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Sandra Cox said...

Ooh, two excellent reads.

I hate to admit it, but I periodically have to throttle, then choke back envy. I'm happy to say Ms. Envy's life is short lived.
But it sometimes surfaces for a few brief moments, I kick it hard, then its gone:)
I think its human nature.
But it comes down to: do you give in to it or throttle it into submission and feel genuinely happy for your friends.

Anny Cook said...

Envy... I think a tad of envy can be healthy if it motivates us to work harder. After all, we'll never get what we desire if we sit around waiting for it to happen--whether it's the guy/girl in a story or whether it's someplace in life that another person has reached.

Molly Daniels said...

Loved Dragon in the System and am looking forward to Babies in the Bargain:)

I've admitted to slight bouts of jealousy, but I learned early that if not squelched, it can get out of control and hurts everyone in the process. So I try to contain it when it happens.

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

Loved the photos, especially the second one. And while a touch of envy is certainly human nature, part of the whole being-grownups thing is keeping it firmly tamped down.

Regina Carlysle said...

The thing is we ALL know how much work goes into writing a book. Speaking as someone who never finished projects and just fizzled before getting to the end, FINISHING my first book (despite it never selling) and then another and another, proved to me how much work it takes. I DO get envious sometimes about things but never about the accomplishments of another author. I KNOW how much hard work, effort, and talent goes into something like this. I can say without thinking twice that I'm tremendously happy when something good happens to one of my fellow authors/friends. That doesn't mean I'm some kind of "goody two shoes" just means I've learned to appreciate the effort.

Mona Risk said...

I think jealousy hurts the one who feels jealous more than the one targeted. I rarely feel jealous, except when a gorgeous woman ogles my hubby.LOL. But I have a tendency to be always pleased with what I have. Maybe I am a bit naive. As you said AJ, each person is so different. What my friends have may not be what would make me happy.

Sandra Cox said...

Ms. Amarinda, you are officially tagged.

barbara huffert said...

The consequences are our own...precisely. If you're dissatisfided with you're own situation, do something about it. Don't snipe at someone else for theirs.