Plan of attack…

08:30 – dress in loose, comfortable clothes and flat shoes.
08:35 – Money check. Attitude check. Fake PMS-get-out-of-my-way look practiced.
08:54 – drive Patrick (my car) down hill to major DIY store.
09:00 – avoid the sausage sizzle stand. It’s a trick set up to sway people from their mission
09:01 – trolley obtained
09:02 – push trolley with determination to the gardening area. People jump out of my way. Fake PMS successful.
09:05 – wandering aimlessly trying to find potted herbs.
09:06 – collar staff member and ask ‘why no signs?’
09:07 – herbs found. Staff member flees.
09:30 – the best and healthiest pots of herbs obtained. Herb area a mess after cyclone Amarinda
09:32 – analyze potting mix. Fingers used to work out $$ per cubic litre of dirt
09:36 – All math forgotten. Girl logic applied. Bought 4 bags of dirt in the prettiest looking package
09:45 – the check out. Rammed by gardener with trolley. Gave him the look. He apologized and hid behind his wife
09:46 – still pleased man is hiding.
09:47 – pay for herbs, drop credit card and whine greatly as I pick it up as all muscles still smarting from the day before
09:50 – find Patrick – and dump goods. Ignore people circling nearby to get my car space. Finger wave a few to be irritating
09:51 – return trolley as only the lazy and pig ignorant don’t
09:52 – pleased with myself and my mission
09:53 – stop at sausage sizzle and watch as the crowd entering the store gets bigger and bigger.
09:55 – wander back to Patrick sausage sizzle trophy in hand.
10:00 – swearing at people who suddenly think they are driving in the US and can drive on the right and block every one else
10:05 – back at Chez Amarinda with Patrick.

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