So....

…I got my new mobile (cell) phone up and running without the aid of instructions. I decided to err on the side of the slack arse and chuck the instructions and just take a punt and set it up on spec. The only thing that annoyed me is there is no belly dancer ring tone. What? How am I supposed to know the phone is mine? I need a belly dancer ring tone. I looked online to see if there was one I could download free. ‘Ever read the terms and conditions for so called ‘free ring tones’? Can you say rip off?

Anyway this morning the phone would not work. Hmmm…I rang technical support and I explained the situation and we tried lots of things to fix the problem. It came down to this – the techie bloke said ‘the phone is buggered.’ Now ‘buggered’ in Australia means stuffed, rooted, cactus – and all those words mean buggered. Buggered to an Aussie means any of the following…

I’m buggered = I’m tired
It’s buggered = see above = stuffed, rooted, cactus
Bugger me – not an invitation for anal sex – it means ‘I’m surprised’ …hmmm…maybe anal sex could come under ‘surprised’
Rooted = can also mean fucked…don’t read that it you’re under 18
Stuffed = it can mean filled with say spinach and fetta but generally it means – ‘buggered’ – see above.

See? Aussie is a very easy language to speak. And the buggered, stuffed, rooted, cactus phone? Well a new one comes out to me next week. I have explained I need the belly dancer ring tone on it. I’m not unreasonable. I just know what I want.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
www.amarindajones.com
www.amarindajones.blogspot.com
Be daring...read an Amarinda book