Saturday, 15 January 2011

Those terrible people…

…they’ll ruin us all. Which people? People who rent. I was in the apartment complex pool doing my early morning laps when Betty & Beryl – no, not their real names – they just look like a Betty & a Beryl – started whining about people who rent. Now, I haven’t rented in years. I prefer not to. Why? I hate paying rent. It’s dead money. But, I never had an opinion on people who paid rent. People are people until they piss me off and then I will deal with them accordingly.

But, according to Betty and Beryl, renters are the scum of the earth. How so? Well, apparently they all have tattoos and no one with a tatt can be trusted. I have seven tatts…clearly I am b-b-bad to the bone. According to them tattooed renters also drink alcohol out of glass bottles around the pool, swim before the regulation 7am and after 9pm and they smoke and yell and fornicate…okay, they didn’t say fornicate but tattooed renters are bound to be prolific fornicators. This morning one of these ladies asked me “is it you that plays the violin over in your section?” Yes, we’re all sectionalized in their minds. I just smiled and asked why they wanted to know? Let ‘em wonder who the violin playing probably tattooed, fornicating renter is. There is a trombone player across the street who likes to play the theme to Pink Panther over and over and bloody over but I have no idea who the mad violinist is. Anyway it appears the violinist is considered okay in their eyes. I suspect because it’s cultural and unlikely to be one of us tattooed fornicators.

Amarinda Jones
Penn Halligan
Be an Amarinda book


Sandra Cox said...

Sounds like you've moved into musicians row.

Abigail-Madison Chase said...

I have a wonderful tattoo of a beautiful cat with a rose in its mouth and I got it for my 35 birthday! Irented too and there was fornication on occasion I guess it was ok. I am not a drinker but I did let a few come to my apartment and dare I say drink!

I don't think they would like me either so I am in good company!