Sunday, 12 January 2014

No, you shut up...

Brain – Wake up.
Body – Go away. I’m trying to sleep.
Brain – It’s 4:30am. It’s time to exercise! We love exercise!
Body – It’s Sunday. Piss off. Go without me – and no, we don’t. You’re deranged.
Brain – Oh come on, you know you like getting up early and torturing yourself.  
Body – Er, no, actually I don’t. All that endorphin shit you try to flood me with is plain annoying.
Brain – Come on fatso, get up. Don’t you want to grow up big and strong?
Body – Seriously, fuck off and let me sleep.
Brain – I can’t, Tubby.
Body – I know. You’re a pain in the arse. Anyway, it’s pouring down rain outside. I’ll get wet and melt.  
Brain – Shut up and stop whining.  
Body - No, you shut up.
Brain – Don’t you want to look all trim and lovely?
Body – Right now, podgy and feral looking work for me.
Brain – I’m just doing my job.
Body – Yes.
Brain – Work with me.
Body - No, rack off.
Brain - You're difficult but I like you and I believe -
Body – You’re not going to shut up are you?
Brain – Come on – you know me - I’m annoying. You love that about me.
Body – Fine. Whatever. I’ll get up.
Brain – That-a-girl! Go team! You can do it!
Body – Did I mention shut up before?
Brain – I knew you’d get up.
Body – Smart arse.