Friday, 11 January 2008

Friday at Chez Amarinda....

Mad About Mirabelle – review – Reviewer Top Pick

Wow once again Amarinda Jones brings two hot characters that will make you constantly reach for a cold glass of water. From the first chapter, the backseat limo wow. Not only was it interesting how the author brought these two together again but also it was fun to see how they try to survive when someone wants them dead. It was hilarious from the mosquitoes biting on their butts; houses exploding to finding a dead body. This book was a lot of fun to read. Mad About Mirabelle is definitely a great book to check out from Amarinda Jones. You will get suspense, hot passionate sex, and a treasure of money worth reading about.

Dear Amarinda,
Here is your horoscope for Friday, January 11:

Look for intangible clues right now. The universe is urging you down a certain path, but don't expect neon signs. It's whispering in your ear, nudging you toward exciting possibilities. Open your ears -- something great is in the works.

Don’t you just hate it when your stars (Scorpio) are all mystical like this? What’s with the nudging and urging? And I have to open my ears? What path? Why can’t the clues be unmissable flaming arrow type clues? You know, the kind that scare the hell out of you but you get instantly. ‘Intangible ‘sucks. I’m happy to believe ‘something great is in the works’ but more specific information please. Why don’t they just say – Amarinda, the lotto win you have been expecting for years will happen tomorrow night?

Today I ….

I locked myself out of the house Yes - I was impressed by that as well. I was checking the mail and as I walked down the steps the door slammed behind me. Lovely. I did have keys in my hand but there were for the mailbox. That meant I had to use the spare hidden keys – cue dramatic Mission Impossible music. They are hidden in the most difficult place to get to purely because it’s the craziest place to hide them. Even if a burglar glanced for a second at where the keys were hidden I have a feeling he would think – “Nah, no one would be that stupid.” Au contraire, mon ami burglar. Not only could I, but I am. So I tramped around to the death defying place I had hidden them. Big sigh as I looked at the place. Degree of difficulty? Bloody hard mate. Anyway, I jumped, crawled, swore, tumbled and snatched the keys with 2 fingers as I hung suspended by my toenails. Of course once I had them, I had to open the child proof container (pukeable things), unwrap them from the multiple layers of protection, open the door and then do the whole thing in reverse. Indiana Jones eat your heart out. Yes, I could hide them somewhere less death defying but what adventure would there be in that?

‘Climbed up the steps of death today. What are they? They are 40 of the steepest steps on the planet. Maybe I exaggerate a tad when I say the planet…but when you climb them it feels like you are trying to climb up a vertical wall. They are just plain bloody horrible. I always get to the top, gasping for breath and think “I am never going to do that again.” Why did I do it? It’s in the pursuit of health, fitness and all things insane. Also at 5am on my morning power ramble my brain is not functioning properly and some things seem like a good idea at the time. Will I do it again tomorrow? Nah, but next week I’ll take another crack at them again. Am I wanting ‘buns of steel’ from this? Nope, the marshmallows ones I have now are not likely to change at this stage but this masochist exercise counteracts the bad things I plan to indulge in later.

Ethel called to advise she was sending me a box of stationery – re-writable CDs and fly drives – by company courier from her new job. “Please sign my name.” Excellent news as I use this stuff constantly. Her signature is dead easy to do. And yes, of course I pointed out how naughty she was using company merchandise like that and no, I would never forge anyone’s name…well, I mean I’m sure I would have had it occurred to me to say it at the time...

Kelly on left us with…

"Then that makes Choltax--er, the ruler, not the planet--Zoltan's long lost brother." Shade slapped his forehead with understanding. Rinalda, being helpful, slapped it too. Rafe, seeing the pattern hauled off and palmed his twin's noggin, feeling proud of himself.

Emmeline rolled her eyes.

"Out of curiosity, what happens if a green-eyed female from the sixth dimension of the planet Choltax swallows a load of diamonds?" Rinalda asked Zoltan.

Huh??? That hurt my brain but Grasshopper likes to do that. I’m going with….

“That’s it. I’m out of here.” Emmeline knew she was wasting precious time. She turned to Zoltan. “Between you and the three Muppets here I’ve had more than enough.”

Zoltan’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “What about your share of the diamonds?”

“You know what - have them.” Four sets of eyes looked at her in amazement.

“Oh my god you’re dying.” Rafe was agog at her unexpected words.

“Can I have her peeler?” Rinalda asked quickly before anyone else could claim it.

Emmeline shook her head and turned from the group. Dumb as rocks. She wasn’t about to explain that she had bigger things on offer than a handful of puny diamonds. While she had been carousing with the natives they had told her about the Tourmaline Chalice. A pair of earrings,

her socks, her battery powered toothbrush and the pack of strawberry bubble gum from her pocket secured her the location of the sought after trophy. It was the stuff of legends. Men killed for it and women connived to get it. Emmeline wasn’t about to share it with this pack of dweebs.

“I’ll find you wherever you go, wife of mine,” Zoltan called out to her in a knowing tone.

Emmeline turned and smiled smugly. “You don’t have the ability to track me any more.”

“You haven’t!” Zoltan turned pale under his spray on tan.

“That’s right. I dug the tracking beacon out of the filling in my tooth.” She saw the alarm in his face. “I’m free of you forever.” She kissed the emerald transponder ring on her finger. “Take me to Peru,” she commanded. The chalice would be hers.

You just know Anny is going to have something bizarre happen in the next episode tomorrow on She is also featuring what I suspect is a shape-shifting cat on her blog. Kelly either has the meaning of life, how to make peanut butter sandwiches or how to clog dance to Thriller on But don’t quote me, I could be wrong.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Sandra Cox said...

Wow, if I become a burglar in my second life, remind me to avoid your house.

Sandra Cox said...

Funny, funny blog, as always.

Phoenix said...

Clog dance to thriller... wow, that would be cool to see. Do I have to grab my groin too? I haven't taken advantage of those penile enhancements so my penile is uh, non existent.

When you tell stories like this, AJ... the chook on the street, the combative washing machine, bookshelves, door locking... I shake my head. There is nothing I want more than to be there one day when all of this is going on. Clever on the hiding place though. So much more original than above the door jamb.

Anny Cook said...

Or under the flower pot. Unfortunately, I live in an apartment complex, so my hiding place is downstairs in Jane's apartment. If all else fails I can call maintenance and they will come unlock my door.

I can see this happening. Well, I'll go back to my shape shifting cat...

Molly Daniels said...

Are you sore from the gymnastics or the steps of death?

Mona Risk said...

Hilarious, but I would keep this God-forsaken hiding place for a novel. When we lived in a house, we used to keep a key with the neighbors and hide another under a stone. No hidden key in the Florida apartment.

Bronwyn Green said...

I'll admit, I'm not really a fan of reality shows, but I think you need your own. I think it would become the highest rated show in no time.