Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Tuesday Stuff...


-walked around the neighbourhood with my clothes inside out but that’s what happens when you get up at 4am to go walking – even though the lights are on in the house they’re not on in my mind.
- upset someone just because I am breathing apparently – decided to breathe a little harder to really piss them off – no point only in having a job half done.
- Day 3 in the job – still there – quel surprise.
- I actually ironed something this morning. Amazing Grace. I never ever iron. I believe it is just wrong but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and iron. It only took me 15 minutes to find it too.
- someone I worked with a couple of years ago rang and asked if she could have some free copies of my books. Gee, how to answer that – hmmm…no.

Someone sent me this…I can’t think why…

The working woman's great household tips

1950’s housewife way : Stuff miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.

The Working Woman's way: Just suck the ice-cream out of the bottom of the cone for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!!

1950’s housewife way : When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Working Woman's: The supermarket sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

1950’s housewife way : If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

Working Woman's: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, tough! Recite the working Woman's motto: 'I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

1950’s housewife way : Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting it in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Working Woman's: It could keep forever. Who eats it??

1950’s housewife way : Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Working Woman's: Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in a double vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won't care!


1950’s housewife way : Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Working Woman's: Left over wine??? HELLO!!!????

Kelly on left us with…

Then she might be a little hung over, but no worse for wear."

"Think we could get her to wear a thong? She'd be really hot in a thong. I could hold the Chalice while she sips from it," Pete said hopefully.

"Fool! You are already half under her spell. Don't you know that if she wears a thong AND drinks from the Tourmaline Chalice puncaks will rise up from under the ground and suck the essence out of all mankind?"

"What's a puncak?"

Uh huh…I’m going with…

Emmeline was nowhere near Brazil. She was in downtown San Francisco. She knew that her soul was linked to her peeler so the one she had thrown away was just a spare. Emmeline guessed by now Zoltan and Pete would be hopelessly lost trying to track her.

With the Tourmaline Chalice carefully wrapped and placed in the hatbox she carried, she headed to Fisherman’s Wharf. Before the old village crone had died she had directed her to San Francisco. Her final whisper urged Emmeline to go Lenny’s Café and ask for Tortunga Smith.

“He can help you harness the -” But the old woman did never finished the sentence.

Emmeline had stamped her feet angrily. “Frigging typical!”

At Lenny’s café, a man carrying a duck approached her. “I hear you are looking for Tortunga.”

“You’re carrying a duck.” Why is my life so complicated?

“A cow is too heavy for me.”

Of course. “Are you this Tortunga guy?”

“Why do you seek him?” The man stroked the duck gently.

“Okay, here’s the thing, I’m not discussing my plans with someone carrying poultry.”

“The poultry carriers shall inherit the Earth.” His words sounded Zen-like.

“Whatever you reckon, you big fruit loop.” Emmeline rolled her eyes cynically.

“You will find you also carry an animal in your hand.”

“This is a hat box, mate.” As she said the words, Emmeline gasped in shock as she looked down to see a platypus gnawing at her hand. “What did you do to my chalice?”

Anny will no doubt take it somewhere beyond belief on
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anny Cook said...

A platypus? A PLATYPUS? Uh, right.

Like your working woman's rules. So proud that you found the iron. I'm not sure where mine is. Know I haven't used it in five years. Maybe.

Secret admirer, eh? Hmmmmm. What was it Ethel said about your true love or soul mate or something before you started this job? Or was that the last job? I forget.

Phoenix said...

IS the not-so-secret admirer at your new job?? And how did you find out?

Mona Risk said...

AJ you always manage to make me laugh, even when I feel like smashing the computer. I'm not working anymore, because the slaving I'm doing is not paid, but I love your working woman's rule.

What's wrong with the not-so-secret admirer? Share.

Bronwyn Green said...

Details, woman! Who's the not-so-secret admirer??

Unknown said...

Shouldn't have mentioned that. It's now off the blog as I'm not dealing with it.

Molly Daniels said...

What? I missed something...damn it, this is what I get for not reading you first thing...

Love the headache rule...the modern one, that is!

Anonymous said...

LOL! Ah yes, I'm a working woman all the way :D

Don't worry Molly, I missed it too. Oh well, we'll just have to badger until we get the details LOL ;)

Sandra Cox said...

I much prefer the working woman's way.
Glad the job still holds your interest. Have you figured out how to drive a fork truck yet?
I shouldn't admit this, but I had a job that started at 6 a.m. when I was fresh out of college: I regularly wore my clothes inside out. grin.

Sandra Cox said...

Okay, I missed it too. What secret admirer?

barbara huffert said...

Sure, the one day I sleep in an extra few minutes instead of reading blogs before work and I miss something tasty. sigh

Anonymous said...

Perfectly obvious, you meant find where the action is and being too confused ended with were. Right???? Jean