Back off Betty...

I believe the world is broken up into two different types of people. Black and white? No. Tall and short? No again. Fat and thin? Nope – they’re all irrelevant things to do with appearance. Only a dipstick judges another on how they look. No - the world is broken up into people who hug and those who wonder why the hell you’re touching them….do I know you?

Today at work someone said to me that they ‘needed a hug’ and looked at me expectantly. I looked at them like they were mad. ‘Wrong person to say that to. I’m not a person who randomly hugs people. You have to mean something for me to do that. I don’t get the whole ‘I need a hug deal’ by strangers. Something went wrong? I’m sorry to hear that. By all means whine, bitch and moan about it. It’s you’re inalienable right to do so – hell I’ll join you or help you plot your revenge - but then suck it up and move on without all the touchy feely needy crap.

Why did this person need a hug? They ‘hate Mondays’. Well, holy frig – stand in the I-frigging-cannot-stand-pukeable-horrible-Monday-line behind me – or better still go and do what sensible people do - buy an extra strong bucket of caffeine – I don’t get decaf at all – what a waste of money – and sit at your desk and refuse to speak to anyone until you have an equal ratio of blood to coffee in your veins, have read all your personal emails and found spiritual solace in caffeine overload.

You know, by all means go and hug people but don’t expect everyone else is going to want to do it. And what annoys me is that if you don’t want to hug someone people think your being horrible. Ah, no ­- I just don’t want someone I don’t know invading my personal body space nor do I want to hold hands and sing kumbaya with you because you broke a fingernail. You do what you have to in order to get through life, as will I, but keep your hugs to yourself. To me a hug is given in free will and not because you have no other choice and not on demand. Making others feel awkward to make yourself feel better is just wrong.

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