A shapeshifter, a vampire and a girl with a daddy fetish walk into a bar...

I’m usually not home when chats on author/reader loops are done as they’re done in Yankee time and that conflicts with Aussie time. In the past, I have managed to get to a few. To be absolutely honest, they’re usually a waste of time. Why? Well, a bunch of authors turn up and post excerpts of their books and other authors comment on how good the excerpt was and how they’d ‘love to read it’. Then it goes around in a circle until everyone has done the obligatory excerpt and murmured the loving it thing. No really, attend one and you’ll know what I mean. There are usual questions like ‘what is your favourite character in what book?’ ‘Do you have a muse?’ ‘A favourite story?’ or ‘are you wearing red socks, a pink pegnoir and a knitted beanie while sipping cinnamon flavoured tea?’ Ydah, ydah, ydah…

So I attended one today due to the fact I have a couple of days off over the Christmas break and that the author who was having the chat is one of the few authors I like, respect and admire. But oh lordy…it was hard work. It begs the question are these chats outdated? Do readers really care about what the author was feeling when she wrote the scene where the hero X, who is a wombat shape-shifter and older than the heroine which fits in with her Daddy fetish, shagged the stuffing out of Y, an overly beautiful virgin who dreams of being the toy of many boys before going into politics and/or being a rock star’s girlfriend, in a non tacky way while a pack of gay vampires watch on awaiting their turn with the shape shifting wombat all the time knowing they have to do it before daylight? Hmmm? I tend to write the author off as being on powerful medication or playing with her/himself. Unless you are a JK Rowing or the like you’re probably not going to draw many people to these chats to listen to you espouse your feelings on why wolf pack rape is acceptable if the heroine actually believes all 6 shape-shifting wolves really love her.

There’s got to be a better way than these tired-arsed chats…