What the???

OMG…eye roll…I think I have mentioned my neighbour across the street. He’s the one with hair past his shoulders and he never, ever seems to wear a shirt. He is always bare-chested. No, it ain’t pretty. Anyway, it’s winter in OZ. I find it cold. I went to roll down the roman blinds just now and there he was – bare chest, in jeans and wearing a beanie (knitted woollen cap) on his head. Yes, what a sight. He saw me at the window and I started to laugh. I have a horrible feeling he thought that was a smile of interest from me as he smiled back…god help me…I ain’t going to happen beanie boy – and yes, looks are not important but I require some basic level of sanity in my men.

So what am I blogging about today? Hair…no, not because beanie boy has hair past his shoulders…no, this is about women, hair and age. Have you noticed the older you get the more preoccupied with hair you become? And are you sick of it?

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows-- Janette Barber

When I hit 40 I was okay with that. I get better with age. I expect to be fantastic at 50 and fabulous at 60. The one thing I wasn’t okay with tiny little, annoying hairs that started to appear on my chin and upper lip. What was that about? Up until then I had been genetically lucky. I had not had to do the waxing, bleaching thing – but suddenly the odd black hair appeared. Huh? So you get rid of it then suddenly you notice as the years pass by more facial hair appears. Your hormone levels are good. You could be the poster child for PMS so there’s no worry about excess testosterone. Then suddenly your friends have the same problem with the hair thing. Why facial hair? Is this some cosmic frigging joke? I just feel that as women we have enough to deal with without hitting a certain age and then God or whatever deity you believe in, goes “Bugger it, we’ve toyed with her insides, now let’s give her a beard and moustache. Let’s see how she deals with that.” Were periods not enough to stick us with? Was menopause just because it seemed like a good idea, Cosmos? Now it’s hairy upper lips and chins? Why?

Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off --Karate Kid

And have you noticed that if you let the hairs on your chin grow, and maybe beaded them as author Anny Cook suggested, they would grow thick and black – but the roots of your hair on your scalp only come in grey? Huh? What’s that about? Now you not only have to wax parts of your face but you have to think about whether to go grey naturally or touch your hair up. Women are not allowed to grow grey gracefully are they? Men can. They look distinguished. Women just look older. So you think, okay, I’ll dye my hair. But then you have to keep touching it up because you look in the mirror as you are tearing the hair off your face with a wax strip to see the grey growing back in on your scalp. So there you are wax on your upper lip, dye in your hair and still probably having the curse or in the midst of menopause and you think ‘what the fuck is going on?’ Men aren’t putting themselves through this crap. Is there some male deity laughing his arse off at our predicament?

Then you look down at your legs and see the forest that is growing there. I remember being a teenager and shaving my legs for the first time. Mum said,
“You’re going to be doing that for the rest of your life.” You’re not wrong, Narelle (it’s an Aussie saying.) So while you have to eradicate this sudden facial hair and deal with grey roots you have to shave your legs because while the hair on your head may be thinning, it’s still coming in thick and fast on your legs. Who invented women? What were thinking? Do you sometimes wonder if they were looking at the plans the wrong way?

And yeah, I know what you’re thinking – why put yourself through the whole wax, dye, shave thing? Why indeed? Be yourself. Have a beard, trip over the hair on your legs and who cares if boy scouts want to earn a merit badge helping you across the road because of your grey hair? Why do we care – or should I say why do I care? While I am never going to be a raving beauty, I want to look as good as I can. No, not for anyone else – but for me. I don’t want to be sitting somewhere toying with a stray chin hair or going to the restroom and thinking all fluorescent lights in the ladies loos should be banned because they show all the grey. I think, as a woman, I want to be comfortable with who I am. I don’t want a beard. I have the wrong facial structure for that and grey hair – it’s doesn’t suit me. As for hairy legs – I can live with them but sometimes you need to use those legs to make a point and hair free legs are excellent weapons.

So there – hair – can’t live with it and seemingly can’t live without it. Can hardly wait to see what other freakish thing the cosmos wants to stick me with…bastard.

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it's all a little bit lower -- Gypsy Rose Lee

Off hair….I read two excellent e-books – Beyond Meddling by Barbara Huffert – click here to buy - and Tempting Tess by Regina Carlsyle – click here to buy. The things I like about both these books? The characters in each are real. I believed in them and their actions. I liked them. To me, that’s the mark of a great book. And the sex? Well, it’s hot, funny, sweet and it’s believable. Buy these books. You won’t be disappointed.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?