Saturday, 26 September 2009

Bloody fate…

I swear fate or kismet or one of those little buggers has been slapping me in the head all week, making me look at my life and think. And worse than the whole thinking thing, something so alien to me has happened. I've been consumed with regret about something. I don’t believe in regrets normally because I believe you do what you are meant to do and there was never ever any other outcome you could have taken so worry? It’s all about synchronicity isn’t? Things happen for a reason so why moan if stuff doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to? But this...oh man...I keep thinking I should have done something...why didn’t I read between the lines? What is the point of pride? Does it beat need and hunger? Basically I have come to the enlightened conclusion that destiny sucks and can’t be trusted.

Nah, there's no real, solid answer to any of this. If there was I would have drawn a line under what I am feeling and moved on without all this thinking crap going on. I don’t know. Maybe we're never meant to know the answer to some questions. Maybe we're meant to feel regret every so often to make us realize that there are some things that are more important to us then we ever realized could be. Jeez…life can be exhausting can’t it?

But…a less exhausting thing…I get my second tattoo today. I’m looking forward to it. Why? Having a tattoo is like a declaration of life and who you are and what you want. It ain’t got nothing to do with destiny.
Be an Amarinda book


Anny Cook said...

Ah? Looking forward to seeing the pictures!

As for regrets... I believe they make us wiser. We learn from them and try not to make that kind of mistake/decision again.

Amarinda Jones said...

Ah yes but what if you want to make the same mistakes because they were so good the first time?

Ashley Ladd said...

It's good to declare life and who you are and go after what you want.

As for making mistakes and having regrets, everybody does. They're also part of the learning curve. If you never made a mistake, if you never had a regret, you probably have remained pretty stagnant and that wouldn't be good.

Sandra Cox said...

I try to go with the learning curve thing too, but its hard. I live with regrets like its a broken record. Over and over and over again