Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Truth or Sex…

Okay, there’s this man and there’s this woman. They meet. The attraction is instant. He makes her laugh and feel like doing crazy things. She makes him feel strong and in control. He’s sweet and romantic. The way she cares about him makes him feel special. And the sex? Amazing. The hunger they feel for each other is so intense that all inhibition and caution is thrown to the wind. They just need to be together and they will do whatever they have to in order to touch. Is it love? What else can it be? They declare they want to be together forever.

Romance huh? It can be so amazing that it takes your breath away. If this was in a book or a film we’d all want them to get together because what they have is special. It’s the kind of love people crave. But there’s a problem. They’re married, No – not to each other. Yes…hmmm…so, my question to you is how romantic is cheating on a partner? If a romance writer presented the scenario above to you as her latest work what would you think about the hero and heroine now? Can you be romantic and unfaithful? Is this mad love they have still justifiable?

So, the gossip at work is, married to another X is sleeping with Y who has a wife. No biggie you say? People screw around all the time? Yeah they do. It’s no one’s business? No, it’s not. Gossip is evil? Probably – and for listening to it I’ll go to hell but my theory is as long as I know the consequences of my actions then there's no need to stress out when the gates of hell open up and suck me inside.

Back to X and Y who have this wild passion for each other - I understand people become unhappy in marriage. I understand you can be attracted to more than one person at any time and that someone can come along who is so amazing that you can barely think straight due to overpowering need. And yeah, maybe cheating and having an affair is exciting. I really do get all that – but – if you’re that unhappy or that overwhelmed with desire for another, shouldn’t you do the right thing and talk to your partner? If this new love is so important, isn’t loyalty to your old love just as important?

Passion is an amazing thing but I just wonder about the costs of such an intense liaison. Do you throw everything you have away for the lover you have found or do you keep the lover you already have? It’s just so bloody messy isn’t it? I guess it all comes down to what you will accept for yourself in life and what price you are willing to pay. Would it work in a romance book? I don’t believe so. Why? Because we want the fantasy. We’re prepared to read about the heroine fighting evil with the hero at her side trying to protect her but if he had a wife and she had a husband? Hmmm…I’m not sure we’d be so keen to see then jump into bed regardless how romantically it was written. Fantasy versus reality – choose your poison and prepare for the consequences.
Be an Amarinda book


Lisa J said...

I couldn't read a book where one or both partners cheats. It would pull me out of the story.

If you are unhappy in a relationship, end it before moving on. It's the right thing to do. Also, I would never trust the cheater not to cheat again.

Been there, seen that, never ends well!

Amarinda Jones said...

Yes, I agree with you. People should be told the truth and treated with respect. They may hate the cheater but they deserve to know and they need to move on. And no, it's not a book I would write or read

Anny Cook said...

Couldn't go there. I'm a firm believer in fidelity in marriage. As someone said... can't remember who... if you're not looking, then no one will catch your eye.

And if you're unhappy enough to be looking, then do the right thing, make sure you're free first.

Ashley Ladd said...

Infidelity isn't romantic. Romance readers aren't interested in reading about this, perhaps because too many have had their hearts broken by a cheating partner or have someone close to them who was.

Marriage is hard work. Any relationship is. But I would think if you throw away the current marriage, and even if you get together with the new lover, that relationship will eventually be hard work, too.

Sandra Cox said...

I echo AShley. Infidelity isn't romantic and marriage is hard work.

Sandra Cox said...

That was a well written blog, especially that first paragraph. You're a pro;)