Pretty bloody simple to me.

So I was at Bunnings (huge hardware chain store for the non-Aussies among us) in my lunch hour looking at wood. Yes, exciting stuff. Not. Anyway, my eye caught this large pile of metal thingies stacked up against a back wall that were marked down in price. Genetically, I was drawn to the markdown sign so I wandered over and saw these deliberately rusted, to make the metal look old and interesting, panels that were to be used as a ‘feature’ in the garden. Cut into the metal was a continuous pattern of tulips. They had been marked down from $130 to just $30. I suspect because people kept thinking ‘well they’re rusty – I don’t want to buy those if they’re falling apart.’ I lifted one up with one hand, while balancing a bag of mulch between my feet and a handful of hooks and my mobile phone in the other, and this rusted thingy was bloody heavy.

Now my question is – who the bloody hell comes up with these ideas to deliberately rust sheets of heavy arsed metal and then sell it at a huge price in a economy where most people are trying concentrate on essentials and fripperies are low on the list? And, why even marked down were they not selling? Did any cost analysis go into the rusted thingys at all? And why make them so freaking heavy that to hold it up would require huge hooks or a frame that would in turn cost the buyer more? And why put them in what’s effectively a hardware chain store? And, why have a tag on them indicating if you don’t want them to look rusted then sand the worst of the rust off, paint it with rust killer and then a metal primer then paint over those coats to seal it well. Who the hell has time to do that? Garden panels are supposed to make your life easier. And think of the cost to manufacture fake rusted crap.

Trendy-arsed, new age, let’s-all-contemplate-our-zen-crystal-pierced-navels-over-a-soy-moccachino-iced-juniper-berry-latte designers have no bloody idea what real people like, or think or want. Why not just give people bare metal for $15 and say put it out in the rain if you want rust or paint it if you don’t. Pretty bloody simple to me.