The start of a great year....

Seducing Celestine - Review – 5/5 and a reviewer top pick from Night Owl romance – thanks Melinda…

Wow talk about hot, scorching and oh yes those moonlight nights with Nick are super hot. Just in the first chapter with him crawling through the window with seduction in mind was wow. Amarinda Jones not only brings Australia to life but her men are wow. Yes I use that word so much but it describes her work so easily. Hot men, women who complete them in every way and action in every chapter you read. Not that kind of action but one where you wonder who in the world would be shooting Celestine and why they want her car. The story and passion come to life with her words and this is one author you don’t want to miss reading.
http://www.nightowlromance.com/nightowlromance/reviews/

Review.asp?ReviewId=1089

Today’s quote –
"Some of us are timid. We think we have something to lose so we don't try for that next hill." -- Maya Angelou

Go for the hill, stagger, get breathless but conquer that sucker --Amarinda

5am phone call on New Years Day...

M- Happy New Year! It’s Marlene! I wanted to wish you all the best, mate!
A – The same to you Marlene (I suspect Marlene was as pissed as a newt)
M- Guess what I’m doing today?
A – Ringing up completely strangers and wishing them well?
M – Oh shit
A – Have nice life Marlene.

Lucky for Marlene I rarely sleep past 4:30am – evil never sleeps…

Oh the pain of cleaning…

An acquaintance of mine announced her intention was to clean house today as it was a new year and she wanted to have a tidy home to start the new year. Oh yeah, me too – not. I don’t see how a new year is going to make any difference to my sloppy ways. And, to be honest, when I woke up this morning I felt no different to any other day. I don’t think it has to be a recognized calendar day to feel something special or begin something new. Any day can bring that. But in saying that, it’s only when I am falling over the chaos of my life to I actually think “Hmmm, I should de-clutterfy” Isn’t that a great word? De-clutterfy. I think I’ll write that into this current book. I have to keep my editor on her toes. Anyway, back to ritualistic cleaning. It’s not me. Quel surprise. So I did, for one split section look at the chaos around me and think maybe I should do something but in the words of Ethel I said “Oh hard.”

The thing is I have nothing against dust. I luckily have no allergies or asthmatic complaints so as far as I am concerned dust can do its thing and I’ll do mind. Besides when you think about it, dust is always with us. And here’s the thing, if you dust once you have to continuously dust because more builds up. It’s a vicious cycle trying to keep surfaces shiny and dust free. Now, if you dusted infrequently then you have less stress about shiny surfaces. Added to that, it would take many, many layers of dust to actually be a problem. And it’s not like you can trip over dust. How much dust is too much dust? Is this last weeks dust or last months? See? Too stressful. Do what I do - every so often I give every thing a flick over with a duster when it gets to the point when people can write their names in the dust. Alternatively, don’t invite people around who are prone to writing their names in the dust, then you can cut your dusting time dramatically. And if we all in the end go back to dust am I not just sticking to my roots by not dusting? Yep, how frigging philosophical is that?

I will, however, have to make an effort and clean up under my house. The houses in my part of the world are built on stumps. This is to allow breezes to flow through and to help if it floods. Anyway, the area under my house is elevated in such a way I can park the car and dump heaps of crap and half finished projects everywhere. But it does get to a stage down stairs that the blue tongue lizards, that use it as a run through from one garden to the other, get a tad pissed off with the obstacle course they have to run and they start hissing at me in reproach. So, I swear on a packet of Tim Tams, tomorrow I will clean up under the house. Lord knows what I will find. I actually wrote my under the house into Mad About Mirabelle – write what you know is my theory….

“Right, where to look,” Mirabelle murmured as she surveyed her messy kingdom. She had to think like a dodgy old woman. Dodgy she could do but old Mirabelle refused to consider. Her eyes roamed over her pack rat items. She had dozens of boxes full of assorted crap. Anything could be in those. There was an old jerry can with a hole in it—always handy—a torn kite—who knows why she kept that—stacks of empty tin cans collecting dust –they were so useful—a broken electric fan—one of her Mirabelle-can-fix-it phases—two large ugly blue vinyl suits, an ugly metal garbage bin and…what? Her eyes went back to the two large ugly blue vinyl suitcases? Hello…they did not belong to her.

See? Being messy is useful. Not surprisingly my car is in dire need of a vacuuming. I feel you really need to be in the mood to vacuum especially when you have a killer red vacuum cleaner thats like to sucks up anything in its path without fear or favour. So, there it is. Life at Chateau Amarinda can be a tad messy. My understanding is true creative genius thrives in chaos – and so do I.

Again, I have no idea what the zenfully calm Anny http://www.annycook.blogspot.com/ and the ever perky Kelly http://www.kkirch.blospot.com/ are up to. By the way, Kelly enjoys being called perky so please make sure you address all your comments on her blog to the ‘perky one’ to make her day. Please don’t tell I told you to do it, I want her to think it came spontaneously from your heart.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?
amarinda­_jones­@yahoo.com.au

Do you want fries with that?

While I was out walking at lunchtime I stopped at the local McDonald’s. I am not a fan of Maccas. There is nothing wrong with it – it just does not appeal to me. I worked at Maccas as a teenager and later as an adult in London. I believe I have had my fill of McDonald’s. Anyway, I stopped to get a large lemonade as it was hot as hell outside. I placed my order and the women behind the counter said do you want fries with that – as they do. I myself have uttered those words because it’s something you have to do. Though, to be honest, I only ever said them if management were watching and I was already in deep shite for ‘not being a team player.’

I looked at the woman today and thought I have bought a drink only. No burger or anything else. Is it likely I am going to say ‘oh yeah, what the hell two Big Mac’s, a caramel sundae and a large fries.’ Suggestive sell always amuses me. Do they did we are that dumb that we are going to go ‘sure, load me up with crap I don’t want and did not ask for.’ When I first worked for Promptel, not it’s real name, they shoved me into the new phone connections area. You had to sell, sell, sell. Oh hard, as Ethel would say. I sucked at upselling as I did not care. I did not believe their threats that they would sack me if I did not make 20 sales an hour. Others did. They worked their arses off and got rewarded with pretend money that they could used to buy things like Promptel hats, beer coasters and key rings. Yes I, the bolshie militant woman that I am, missed out on getting a “I took the Promptel sales challenge and won t-shirt.” Yes, how foolish of me. My idea of selling was –

A - Do you want call waiting?
Customer - Is it any good?
A – Got any friends that you need to desperately speak to?
C – No, not really
A – I wouldn't bother then. You like to ignore the phone when it rings?
C – Yeah
A – Well, get messagebank then
C – Is it good?
A – So I am told to tell you
C – What else can I have?
A – There’s a bunch of useless crap I can whack on your service that will then tie you to Promptel for life.
C- Nah, not interested.
A – So any other questions? (Just get off the line. It's my break)
C – No
A – Swell.

See, quite the sales woman. I was actually made to go to a Sales training course with Ethel. It was a three day thing. We were asked to leave after two hours as we were not taking it seriously. Fancy. Actually I never went back to it or attended the training for the Ethics Course I flunked. That would have been a hoot.

So why am I prattling on about fries? Or as we would call them in Australia - chips. It could be that I have not had chips since Billy was a pup (a long time) due to doing the boring health thing or it comes back to selling which leads me to customer service. The driveway – a thing of beauty and a joy forever – got put in today. Yes, hallelujah and pass the gin. They did such a great job and they even laid all the bark and dirt that I had piled up to do on the weekend in the garden bed beside the driveway. I did not ask them to do it but that’s excellent customer service. It’s the small, unasked touches that count.



At work….

I heard the words today…”Ask Amarinda, I don’t want to override anything she had said.” Excellent. I rule the office. But I knew that. We have a new manager type person. I have him completely bluffed. He said to me “You work so hard” and “you are time poor in this job.” Perfect. Just the look I was going for. I am a great believer in smoke and mirrors. I like to leave my desk as messy as possible as people think “Boy, she is busy.” I am. I am busy writing books and chatting online. How I fit in work is anyone’s guess. So, the new guy is under my thumb and the others are too scared to go against my judgements. I rock.

When I read Kelly’s version of the blog serial on www.kkirch.blogspot.com, I believe I said ‘what the’ and ‘sigh’ and ‘I am completely blank.’ She likes to do that to me. I plan to get her roaring drunk when I meet her as payback. So check out what she has written and tell me she’s not insane. Anny, slightly saner- if you overlook her need to write about blue people with fangs – has great words of wisdom on www.annycook.blogspot.com. Anny to me is a cross between Mary Ellen Walton, Mata Hari and Marilyn Monroe – wise, deceptive and a wild sex goddess – as all women are. She is talking about Thanksgiving and exploding turkeys…well of course, anything else would not be an Anny blog.

So tell me? What have you done today to drive someone insane?

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Bad habits and maniacal parakeets

I have a few dozen bad habits. Yes, I know, you are probably shocked as I come across so sweet and accommodating. What are my bad habits? These are but some –

- I am messy. I do not always put stuff away. It can stay for weeks in the same place until I get around to doing something about it. My theory is everything needs to have a ‘rest’ before it finds its proper place.
- I interrupt people who are waffling on about nothing as life is too damn short to be listening to crap.
- I sing very loudly and off key to the same songs over and over until people beg for sanctuary. See? People seek peace when with me.
- I have vengeful and vindictive. Cross me and die – can’t help- it it’s a Scorpio thing.
- I am bossy. It’s my way – the right way – or the highway.
- I am always right and when I’m not then the wind changed or something.
- I cannot format a manuscript to save myself…no surprise to my editor.

I could go on and on. These are just some. I am flawed. Despite this, I love me. What bad habits do you have? I asked some writer friends there bad habits….

- I eat too fast. After years of shoveling food in as fast as I could because of an overloaded lifestyle, I still find it difficult to eat slowly. www.annycook.com

- Hmmm…How about reading authors' blogs and insane sagas instead of editing books??
Anonymous – no truly, if I told you who this was I would have to kill you.

- I finger fidget. If I'm thinking and distracted, I pick at fuzz on the couch, scratch at the surface moles on my arm, rub my cheek, click my nails on the table top. I have to consciously stop myself from doing those things because it drives me nuts to see other people who similarly fidget. Double standards leave a sour taste in my mouth and I don't like that about me. www.kellykirch.com

- My bad habit, okay one of them:) is checking emails before I start writing.. www.sandracox1.com/

- crack and eat pistachio. I crack them with a delightful noise that makes anyone present go nuts(LOL) after an hour. Chew gum with a special little click I have developed that makes hubby say, stop that. www.monarisk.com

-Spending wayyyyy too much time playing solitaire and other on-line games when I should be getting my work done. http://www.vickyburkholder.com

-I speak up when I should keep my big mouth shut and when I should speak up think of what to say ten minutes later. www.jeanhartstewart.com

Like carrot juice through the through the hour glass so are the days of Emmeline…

On www.kkirch.blogspot.com Kelly left us with….

What the heck is going on here?" Emmeline demanded.

Beaky Sprott exchanged a look with mini-Jonas who sat upon a hamster's back with a specially fitted saddle. Was that Rinalda? Looked like her with those ridiculous sparkling fake eyelashes and the strapless pushup bra. "It's an intervention. We're all here for you Emmeline. It will be okay."

Dai grabbed her with super-human strength and sank his teeth into her calf.

What a load of….here is my version…

“I put one hundred dollars on the quilled woman to win,” Oz swiped another handful of popcorn from the bowl on the table and stared into the crystal ball. “I reckon she’ll kick blue boy’s teeth in. Warrior women don’t muck around.”

The Trio of Possible Terror, Oz, Sparky and Lawrence the parakeet, had been following Emmeline’s movements with interest. They knew she was the key to their survival.

“Oh please, the blue guy has the death grip on her.” Sparky took a slug of his Tequila and lime.

“Can we get back to the issue at hand?” Lawrence, the parakeet squawked as he paced angrily back and forth on his perch. Bloody humans never took anything seriously. “We have no money so what’s the point of betting?”

“It’s fun.” Oz threw a handful of popcorn at him.

Lawrence shook his feathers free of salt. “We are supposed to work out how to manipulate the warrior woman and yet you two are pissing around wasting time.”

“You’re just annoyed that The Mary got the better of you,” Sparky taunted the bird.

“Shut up!” That the bitch known as The Mary treated him so badly still ruffled his magenta feathers. “I have a plan.” Lawrence knew every great battle had a commander and he was the Winston Churchill of parakeets.

“Uh huh…” Oz murmured, eyes glued on the crystal.

“Pay attention!” He demanded, annoyed that his voice broke into a screech. It was so not cool when that happened. He could see Sparky snicker. He would be the first one Lawrence killed when he had the loot. “Here’s what we will do…”

What will Anny do tomorrow on www.annycook.blogspot.com. I have a feeling The Mary may come back. And what of Grasshopper? Where did she hop off to and is she hopping back soon? Same Emmeline time, same Emmeline channel tomorrow….

www.AmarindaJones.blogspot.com

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

The Tuesday waffle on...

This is my second day off sick – cough, sniffle - okay enough acting. I’m not sick. My day today –

- got woken up at 5:00am by a phone call. Someone just wanted to say ‘hi’ as they knew I wouldn’t be at work today. Gee, couldn’t you have waited another hour so I could have my standard 4 hours sleep? I can barely speak before 7:00 am, let alone say ‘hi’ – especially after writing until 2am. I grunted back responses and they seemed happy.
- Walked into a huge spider web on the way to the compost bin. Got the spider entangled in my hair. I was shrieking and shaking my hair out frantically while all the time dressed in a faded purple night shirt that has a giant frog and the words ‘kiss me’ on it. Fairly certain I heard giggling from next door.
- Got email from Ethel advising she had decided not to go to work as she was ‘sick’ too. She’s such a copy cat.
- Went and did some retail therapy at the local bigger than Ben Hur shopping centre. I ran into two acquaintances who were shocked that I was writing ‘soft porn’ as they called my books (so shocked that they have bought all my books so far) and what did my family think of that? I said if Mum was alive she would be selling them and my father’s only concern is to make sure I can claim stuff on tax. Most family members unshockable.
- Yelled at the mad drummer to shut up after two more hours of bang, bang, bang. Drummer stopped. Thank god or whomever. Unless a herd of wild elephants are about to charge down my street I don’t need to hear jungle drums.
- Mail came. Cringed at size of credit card bill – though happy with the amount of ‘reward’ points I got. I can probably get half a new toaster.
- Received a bucket load of text messages on my mobile. I think one day we are all going to simply stop talking and texting will become the universal language.
- Tried fake, gradual tanning solution on my legs as they are blindingly pale and people need sunnies to look at them. It takes 3 days to work. Is it a load of hype to make the fair skinned buy it or does it work? I will let you know.
- Now sitting with bottle of fizzy plonk and contemplating going back to work tomorrow. The men have been alone for two days. Scary. God knows what happened. They probably spent two whole days running with scissors. I also expect the wall of wankerdom to be up. Oh dear, someone will get their bottom kicked.

True lies….
I asked a group of writers to tell me about a lie that they told that everyone believed. I only got three responses. Apparently writers are honest people…

Hmmm. I told my father I was a virgin when I got married. Back then that was a BIG deal... Of course, he still thinks I am... what was that about four kids, you say? www.annycook.com

That would have to be when I ran for local political office (Township Clerk) as a Republican—and won.
Now, I’m not trashing Republicans, not exclusively at any rate. I actually have no fondness for the big players in either political party. For the most part I consider professional politicians as slightly below banana slugs on the evolutionary ladder. But I was a young mother. My husband was in graduate school, and this was a job I knew I could handle and it came with paid health insurance. The only other person running was a Republican, so if I ran on that ticket, then the race would be determined at the primary, in August. If I ran as an independent or Democrat, I’d have to campaign (which is expensive!) until November. So I ran on the Republican ballot, won, worked my tail off for four years, and left the office in better shape than I found it, so no guilt. But identifying myself with the organized party? Yeah, that was a whopper.
www.cindyspencerpape.com/

It was a very small lie for which my mother gave me and my brother a licking. Not so much for lying but for taking our sleighs out after school on a cold wintry day and walking to a hilly place about a half mile out of town. It was dark when we decided to come home and Mom was frantic. She said she'd been up and down the street calling our names .We were not supposed to go sleigh riding after school. It got dark quickly. I lied. "We didn't hear you." but that didn't pass muster so we confessed our sins, we both got a licking and were supposed to go to bed without supper. But ... when Mom was back at her typewriter penning her Maxie books our grandmother made us warm, yummy bread and milk. I still remember how lovely that tasted. Harry and I were good and cold from sleigh riding even though we were warmly dressed. I told another little lie about a year later and gave up lying after that because it made me feel sick. www.anitabirt.com

On the serial, Kelly- on www.kkirch.blogspot.com thought she had me cornered with…

Zoltan fainted, but Emmeline was hard pressed to tell if it was from fear of the goliath or from the creatures bad fashion sense. For one half of the twin wore sheer harem pants and the other, miniscule hot pants unable to contain its manly parts which seemed determined to leap out and bite her.

Manly parts and miniscule hot pants…I know where Kelly got that from but my lips are sealed, unless Tim Tams are involved. My turn…

“Yaaawaaaaa!” The monster charged blindly forward, arms thrashing menacingly.

Emmeline looked at the creature in amazement. “Cyril?”

The monster stopped in his tracks. “Emmeline?” He pushed the wild mane of hair from his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Just zapped in – going to zap out as soon.” She smiled at the creature. Oh, the mischief they had been in together on Beta Nine. “Still got the teddy bear tattoo?”

“Yeah, wanna’ look?” He started to pull down his harem pants.

Emmeline threw her hands up to cover her eyes. “No, one look at your hairy arse is enough.”

Cyril kicked Zoltan’s boot. “Who’s he?”

“My husband.” Big sissy fainting like that.

“Oh yeah, I got the invite. I’m sorry I missed the wedding.”

“I got the toaster – thanks.”

“I never know what to buy.” Cyril replied sheepishly.

Emmeline pulled off her emerald ring. There was just enough power in it to get her out of there. “So I guess I had better be going.”

“What about him?”

“Do me a favour, terrorize him a bit and hold him here.” The further she could get away from Zoltan the better.

“Sure Em.” Cyril nodded happily.

“And Cyril?’

“Yeah?”

“Do something about your pants will you?” Emmeline kissed the ring and wished for the most peaceful place on earth. She departed in a whirl of colours, her mind focused on the future. A minute later she landed with a thump. “Crap that hurt.” Stood up and rubbed her arse. “Where am I and why is everything blue?”

Where indeed? However I am sure the Queen Anny of the blue people will be able to give, Emmeline direction. Check out www.annycook.blogspot.com tomorrow.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Monday stuff...

I have been off work today as I am dreadfully ill...okay, I’m not I just decided I needed the day off – so much so in fact that I am taking tomorrow off as well. I feel terrible about it naturally.

As I am normally never home during the week. I have learned quite a bit being home today. First up, a mad drummer practices for at least two hours somewhere close by. I have to ask - how hard is it really to play the drums? After two hours it didn’t sound any better or worse from when he started. And, it has to be a man as no woman would waste time making loud noises for two hours. She would have made them for two minutes, got what she wanted then stopped. Second, I discovered I can do the splits. Yes, I was quite amazed. I was downstairs in the laundry and I slipped on something wet and whooska! I did the splits. It’s not something I believe is a marketable talent (unless you do porn movies I guess) but hey, I can do them – the splits – not the movies.


Thirdly, Ethel hates to be the only one of us at work and believes it’s not fair if I’m not at work as well. This is a woman who normally works 4 hours to my 8 hours a day. She messages me each day after work to tell me she is home in her pjs at 3 pm drinking wine, rubbing it in like the good friend she is. Yes, my heart bleeds for her today…not. The other thing I find interesting is my street is so quiet. Everyone could be dead or transported away by aliens and I would never know. But that’s okay as quiet suits me…though I would be a little pissed off if aliens came, looking for intelligent life, and at least did not knock on my door to offer me the invite – but then if it was after 9pm at night I ignore all communication anyway.

Manners…what do they mean to you?

Today I got an email that said “I want this, so do it.” There was no ‘Hi’ or ‘please’ or ‘thanks.’ It was ‘just shut up and do what I want.’ Of course that is a guarantee that I will do the exact opposite. I cannot stand people who do not have the manners to say please or thank you. It costs nothing to say and you actually get more stuff when you
do say them. I am one of those annoying people, please don’t be shocked, that will correct people’s manners. If I hold a door open for someone coming behind me and they do not say thank you I will say it for them – loudly – so everyone hears, this then embarrasses the person into saying thank you. I do not expect everyone to have prefect speech or pronunciation but I expect manners. So what happened to them? Are there people having kids out there but not teaching them simple things like manners? It’s a sorry state of affairs where swear words are common place but manner aren’t.

Kelly has the blog serial today along with her week of penance for chopping Australia in half on the world map. Check her out on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. Anny has author Kathleen Coddington and her latest book Witch Ball on www.annycook.blogspot.com.

Other blogs of interest –

http://vampsmut.blogspot.com/ - will Dakota share her ‘research’ with us?
http://brynnpaulin.blogspot.com/ - Will Brynn still have the same amount of children and how many loads of laundry did she do?
http://bronwyngreenblog.blogspot.com/ - Did the cats pick the kids up after school?


Coming soon to a blog near you…

Do you want to win some fantastic holiday reading? If so come celebrate the Twelve days of Christmas with 12 authors from Ellora’s Cave, Total-E-Bound and Cerridwen Press. Each day beginning December 8th and running through December 20th each one of the twelve authors will leave a clue as to what their “True love gave to me” on either their blog or website. Collect all twelve answers and go into the drawer to win some great books.

There will be three lucky winners.
The prizes –
1st prize--6 books
2nd prize--4 books
3rd prize--2 books

Which 12 fabulous authors will be giving away books? I am glad you asked - Kelly Kirch, Sandra Cox, KZ Snow, Barbara Huffert, Anny Cook, Heather Hiestand, Jacqueline Roth, Cindy Spencer Pape, Bronwyn Green, Brynn Paulin, Lacey Thorn and me – Amarinda Jones

All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly. For more details visit www.amarindajones.blogspot.com, www.annycook.blogspot.com or www.kkirch.blogspot.com on 6th December 2007. On that date all particpating blogs or websites will be listed.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Seducing Celestine – released today! Let the pigeons loose!

Seducing Celestine available now from Ellora’s Cave

When the hot, sexy guy intimately caressing Celestine in her dreams turns out to be a real life man in her bed is it moonlight madness or is she just one very lucky girl? Should she be offended this man just wants a moonlight ride with any available woman or let him take her as her heart desires?

The woman in Nick's arms is different to any he has ever tasted. Seducing Celestine into submission becomes one sexy challenge he cannot resist. But someone else wants Celestine and it has nothing to do with sex.

Can lust be love? Can she stay out of trouble long enough to find out?

Click on the cover and buy the book

The meaning of life...

Ethel, my best friend, is having a bad time at the moment. Everything is going wrong as it sometimes does in everyone’s life. So naturally it’s the perfect time to go halves in a couple of lotto tickets with her because hope springs eternal and we can tell ourselves anything and believe it. Anyway we were ruminated on the meaning of life…

Why are we here?

General consensus is stuffed if we know, we just are here and I reckon we have to make the most of it. Ethel seems to think her goal is to keep the makers of red wine in business. She’s a philanthropist to the grape squeezers.

What is your purpose in life?

To do whatever you are doing now. I think maybe I am here to drive people nuts by being outspoken and doing the complete opposite of what they want me to do. Ethel feels this is my gift.

Why do things happen to you as they do?

Because they do. Bad stuff happens. Good stuff happens. There is no rhyme or reason. It’s not like you or I are the only people that have crap stuff happen to. I believe in karma – think before you act and remember the cosmos can kick you in the arse any minute so either wing it or be quick on your feet.

Where are we going? And will there be something to eat when we get there?

Existentially – who the hell knows? On a day to day basis? Work, school, grocery shopping etc. Just put one foot in front of the other and get on with it I say. When you get there you are there.

Is there a god?

I can’t answer that one as I am an atheist - no really, swear to god. No conversions please. I am allergic. Ethel says if we win the lotto she will believe. Of course this is the woman who plans to moon our old workplace from a limo when we win lotto so her belief system is on a sliding scale.

Is there an afterlife?

I vote yes as there are a lot of people I need to see again.

I don’t believe there is one set answer to the meaning of life. I think we have to endure through the hard times and enjoy the good. I think we worry too much about what our lives ‘should be’ like when there is no template to life. Stuff happens, build the bridge or blow it up and move on. Make the best of what you have. Do not whine unless it’s the stuff you put into a glass…no one likes whiners.

Friday at work…

…watched 4 grown men try to lift an enormous desk through a tiny door way. They sweated, they swore and I watched for a while until I suggested they unscrew the desk and take it out in pieces. Four men looked at me sheepishly…

…suggested that they seriously re-think heating up the pizza that had been in the office fridge for the past week. Pizza got nuked and four hours later some very sick little boys in the office.

…wrote a good chunk of my next book.

…conversed on line with Ethel, Anny, Kelly and assorted frogs

…made personal phone calls to the council and concreter about driveway

…discussed Sara’s, overseas counterpart, plan to go to design school in Milan and how much notice she should give before quitting

…chatted to the girls at the local coffee shop…they work bloody hard

…and oh yes, did work type stuff here and there as a cover for my personal business…busy, busy, busy Friday.


The Blog Serial – ta-da…

On www.kkirch.blogspot.com, the all singing, all dancing Kelly left us with….

"The Golden Carrot holds mystical carrot powers. You know that thing I told you carrots are great for?"

"Uh. Yup." Lawrence twitched his pink nose and set his whiskers a-quiver.

"The Golden Carrot is able to make the holder of it---" The Mary broke off with a scream!

Nah, I’m not going anywhere near where Kelly expects me to go…my turn…

Meanwhile back at the casino, Emmeline, tired of dealing with the all-simpering yet flashy duo of Rafe and Rinalda, hit the black jack table. Her plan was to win enough money to blow Vegas and hunt her husband Zoltan down.

“Like the scheming dog he is,” she spat out in contempt.

Suddenly a high pitched scream pierced the air.

“What was that?” The dealer shrieked in alarm.

“Who cares.” Emmeline had enough problems of her own. She only her emerald wish ring left to bet with. She pulled it off her finger. “Just shut up and deal.”

“That’s not a nice way for a lady to speak,” Zoltan appeared magically at her side.

“You bastard,” Emmeline hissed angrily.

“Come on that’s an even worse way to speak your husband.” He clicked his fingers and they were transported to the casino’s honeymoon suite. “Let’s make up.”

“In a pig’s ear!” Emmeline put the emerald ring to hers lips and kissed it.

“Don’t do it Emmie. I will track you down and make you come back to me.”

She closed her eyes. “Take me somewhere Zoltan will never find me.”

Two seconds later she was swatting flies away as she stood in an outback pub.

“G’day love. You from out of town?” The shearer looked her up and down.

“Where am I?”

“Jumbuck Creek.”

“Australia?”

“Blood oath.”

Emmeline looked around in amazement. Her mouth dropped open. “What’s that?” It couldn’t be!

“Strewth, haven’t you seen a carrot before, mate?”

“But it’s gold.”

“Yeah we make and flog ’em to the tourists.”

Emmeline smiled as a plan for revenge popped into her head.

Oh dear, oh dear…whatever with Anny do on www.annycook.blogspot.com tomorrow? Will she go down under or go back up and over to the wrong side of the world?

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Hallelujah and pass the gin it's Friday...

You know you are a writer when…

…you are sitting around in your underwear typing and you look up at the clock and realize you have four minutes to get dressed and get to work but finishing the paragraph is way more important than a day job. Anyway a writer can always think up a good excuse for being late.

…the garden you were once proud of makes you wince when you look at it and denial by squinting does not work.

… you hear an interesting name and ask how to spell it as it sounds perfect for your next book

….friends send emails that begin “Once upon a time a friend called and left a message on you machine… and they write a descriptive paragraph telling you to pull your head out and answer your damn phone messages.

… you encourage the voices in your head to keep talking or repeat what they said so you can write it down. They really have to talk slower.

…you are in business meeting and it’s your turn to take the minutes but you cannot hand them in as you owe your publisher first right of refusal and you have written some bloody fantastic stuff that your editor would love.

…friends specifically ask you not to use their embarrassment, love life, problems etc in a book and you cross your fingers behind your back and say “Well of course I wouldn’t dream of doing that”.... while all the time you are thinking they love me, they’ll get over it especially if I make the character drop dead gorgeous.

….you stare at a great male arse and think how would the heroine react to that arse.


So another Friday has come and gone for me. What did I learn this week? Hmmm…nothing. What good did I do this week? Hmmm…nothing. What plans do I have next week? Gee, I can’t say as I hate to be tied down to anything. Did I waste outstanding amounts of work time doing personal stuff? Why yes, I believe I did and I am certain when judgement day comes around I may have explain myself butI'll wing it. Whom did I upset this week? It’s impossible to count that high without taking my shoes off. So tell me, what fabulous thing did you do this week?

And now, once more we visit a land where no one really dies, where umbrellas can kill and quills clack in the breeze…yes, that’s right…it’s the blog saga. Kelly on www.kkirch.blogspot.com left us with…

The Mary cleared her throat, tapping her hairy chin, setting the decorative beads to dancing musically. "I believe that decision is left to Great Oz. You know with whom you deal, do you not, Emmeline?"

"No. Do you mean---" she broke off tremulously, "--the Triad?"

I had no idea what Grasshopper was talking about so I went off on another tangent, as I do….

“What Triad?” Sparky asked as she watched the action on the casino security camera.

“Us, they think we’re a Triad.” Oz laughed gleefully. “Even better they think I am great. See what self promotion does for you?”

“But triad means three and there are only two of us.”

“There is Lawrence.”

“Lawrence is a parakeet.” Sparky looked over at the bird swinging on a perch in its cage.

“But they don’t know that. I add Lawrence’s name to every threat I send out.”

“Oh yeah, what’s our latest threat?”

“Let me see.” Oz scrabbled through the messy papers on her desk. “Ah, here it is.” She picked up the Tim Tam stained Threat Schedule Version 2-c-x1.0 and ran her emerald tipped finger down it. “Okay today is Friday 25th so that means we are due to either break Giant Gerald’s legs over a gambling debt or carry out the threat to Rafe and Rinalda.”

“I don’t think I can deal with Gerald today.” Giants bathed only once a week and on a Saturday. As today was only Friday the thought of dealing with a pongy giant did not appeal. “What was the Rafe and Rinalda threat again?”

“We shrink Rafe to the size of a peanut unless Rinalda reveals the secret of the golden carrot.”

“Whoa! Do you think she will do it?” Sparky was in awe that Oz would demand something so audacious. The secret of the golden carrot was the stuff of legends.

“I guess that would depend on how much she likes peanuts.” Lawrence squawked in shock. “I said ‘peanuts’ Lawrence.”

So Anny has a parakeet and a golden carrot to deal with tomorrow. I’ll be honest, I am a bit worried about what she will do with the carrot. Have you read her books? Whoa! However check www.annycook.blogspot.com tomorrow and find out.

Seducing Celestine – released November 2nd 2007 through Ellora's Cave

Celestine Holt has no money, no job, a broken down heap of a car and someone is trying to kill her. Her life sucks. But there is this man…a man that keeps appearing in the moonlight to make love to her. Can he suck the life back into her?

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Friday…hallelujah and pass the gin…

Friday…no work tomorrow. Woo hoo! This was my Friday…

Someone let me down today. While it pisses me off, it does not surprise me. I am a jaded soul. I stopped believing in promises years ago. I think I was 4 years old at the time. Anyway this person said he had to let me down because he was busy. Oh pluh-lease…do not try that piss weak excuse on me. Who isn’t busy? I would rather be told that he was abducted by aliens, called to serve the dark side or got stuck in the refrigerated section of the local bottlo (liquor shop).

“I’m was busy” is not an excuse I will accept. Everyone is busy. That’s the way the world is. No one has time to do anything any more. I told this individual, “Do not pee on my head and tell me it’s raining. You are no busier than anyone else. If you cannot honour your word then do not give it.” I find that men hate to have their honour questioned so I like to throw that word in alot. He blustered on with many half-arsed reasons. I just shook my head and said ‘whatever’ and walked away. Will I answer his messages on my answering machine? Gee, if I wasn’t so busy…

I upset someone at work today. Yes, I know, shocking. How did I do this? Well this male in Sydney sent me and a female in another office a smart arse hurry-up-and-do-what-I- command email. I left reading it for a least an hour as I do not respond well to commands. When I did open it I saw red. He basically was having a kniption fit because he had buggered something up and wanted us to fix it NOW! Yes, the whole email was in CAPITALS. Maybe he had the caps lock on and did not know it because clearly his head was up his backside or he was pig ignorant of email etiquette. But the thing that annoyed me most, he was quite rude to the other email recipient. I emailed back, very sweetly and calmly, and told him to pull his head in. Yes, naturally, this went over like a lead balloon with the other males in the office as you do not tell a man off.

“Amarinda, he is justified in all he says.”

“He is wetting his pants over something he stuffed up and apportioning blame to the blameless.”

“You have to understand the pressure he is under.”

“Is it the same amount of pressure that everyone else on the planet is under yet they manage to remain polite and responsible for their actions?”

I am still waiting on an answer to this one. Men, I don’t hate them. It’s just there are just so many strange ones out there and I seem to know them all.

I am getting the driveway ripped up and a new one put in. I have had various concrete-type people turning up to give quotes. Tradesmen fascinate me. They always assume you know nothing of their business. I will admit I do exploit this to get what I want. I look feminine, vague and oohh and ahh as I listen to their words – that is until I get to talking dollars. Like I haven’t researched whatever the trade and prices are before they get there. I am woman. I always get what I want.

I was kicking around titles with blog mates Anny and Kelly today at work when I should have been working. I don't feel bad about this as I don't like to stifle my creativity with mundane rules. Anyway titles are just as important as covers. You have to grab someones attention in a couple of seconds. Below are some of the half arsed titles we came out with. No, surprising we won't be using any of these. They are the clean ones we came up with

Torch Me Not
Doyle's Goyle
Inn and Out
Cave Boy
Caving Inn
What are you doing behind me?
Inn, Up and Out
Dave in The Cave
A Close Cave

Yes, we are usually a lot smarter than this – see - www.freewebs.com/amarindajones www.annycook.com & www.kellykirch.com. However I believe Mercury is in retrograde and that is affecting the left side of everyone's brains at the moment. No, really, I am almost certain this is true. Have you noticed everyone is walking lopsided this week? Tilt you head and watch people and you will see what I mean.

So, I sit here with a bottle of plonk and relax and wonder what the bloody hell will happen next Friday?

May the force be with you.

When we last left the blog serial on www.kkirch.blogspot.com with Kelly…

Emmeline leaned forward, flipping open the latch. Her brow wrinkled with consternation. What the?? She held two metallic balls aloft. They were joined by a silken string and rattled when she shook them. Picking up another item from the box, it resembled a string of pearls with increasing sizes. Another item looked suspiciously like an enormous conical pacifier. Was this to be used on the dragon? Perhaps to plug his fire-breathing hole?

Too late, Emmeline realized she'd been so absorbed in the box of strange trinkets she'd failed to keep her eye on the distant dragon. She knew her error instantly, for the wet, steaming breath on the nape of her neck. Emmeline's quills stood on end. Where was the peeler when she needed it?

My turn…

Undeterred, Emmeline swung the metallic balls swiftly above her head like a bola and threw them at the dragon. They wrapped around his neck stopping it instantly as it choked on the restraint. Emmeline knew she had to seize the opportunity so she grabbed the pearl-like string and the conical object. She ran forward and quickly wound the pearls around the gagging dragon’s feet. It crashed to the ground. Emmeline jumped on top of its scaly body.

“Where the hell am I?” She held the coned object threateningly at its throat.

“I say that was a bit rough, wasn’t it?” The dragon ripped the bola from its neck.

“You can talk?” She pressed one of the buttons on the strange weapon. It began to vibrate against his scales.

“Well duh,” snorted the dragon. “A little to the left with your massager would be great.”

Emmeline jabbed the object hard into his soft underbelly. “Talk or you will be sorry, dragon breath.”

“Oh crap, that hurts.”” He whined. “You are in the land of the Fae.”

“I’m Faeryland? That bastard!” Zoltan knew she had been abducted by faeries as a child. The scars caused by the faeries ran deep. Not all faeries were good. “How do I get out of here?” She ground her booted heel into her chest.

“Oh Emmeline, you should know by now you cannot escape a faery.”

Emmeline opened her mouth wide in shock as she had the familiar voice. “Oh no, it can’t be you.”

“Welcome back Emmie.” Mephisto smiled at her. “Let’s play.”

What will Anny do tomorrow on www.annycook.blogspot.com?

Blogs to read….

http://www.mjdaniels.blogspot.com/ - life in the American heartland

http://vampsmut.blogspot.com/ - a sexy, vamp girl’s journey of self discovery, caffeine and cigarettes.

http://www.totalebound.blogspot.com/ - fun, sexy reading and you win stuff.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

There are pirates among us....

Ahoy!
I had a quick chat to Cap’n Slappy who is busy preparing for the annual International Talk Like A Pirate Day. It’s on September 19th. What’s it all about? Why talk like a pirate? Why not?

From the Cap’n....
I can quote no one greater than internationally syndicated Pulitzer Prize winning columnist and novelist, Dave “Bluebarrybeard” Barry when he writes o’ Ol’ Chumbucket and meself in reference to our founding International Talk Like a Pirate Day;

“Every now and then, some visionary individuals come along with a concept that is so original and so revolutionary that your first reaction is, ‘Those individuals should be on medication.’”

I asked the captain where can would be pirates buy his and Ol’Chumbucket’s book - So You Wanna be a Pirate? Here’s How.

It should be at any reputable bookstore (if not, ye have me encouragement to complain bitterly to the clerk – especially if ye go well-armed) near ye! http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0451216490/talklikeapira-20?creative=327641&camp=14573&link_code=as1

It’s always nice to hear from other authors! Keep up the good work! And keep spreadin’ the word … and the word is “ARRRR!!!”

Best Fishes!
Cap’n Slappy

Thank you Cap’n and a big ARRRR!!! back to you. So, consider spending September 19th talking like a pirate. What's the worse that can happen? Your sanity questioned? Sanity is vastly overrated http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

I have been gathering the goss on authors Anny Cook – www.annycook.blogspot.com and Kelly Kirch – www.kkirch.blogspot.com from the people who know them best – family and friends. Are they are as normal as they appear to be? What are they hiding? Are they romance divas or devout writers? I believe I will have the lowdown on them on tomorrow’s blog. The truth will out. In the meantime check out Anny’s blog for the latest in Emmeline runs into her estranged husband serial and god only knows what Kelly will come up on Monday when it’s her turn. Maybe I can hold the info I get from a certain brother over her head and she won’t make my head spin with her orange nippled were-bunny people…hmmm, would I do that?

Seducing Celestine – released 2nd November through Ellora's Cave
Warning Will Robinson – the following contains graphic sex.

“Don’t move,” Celestine whispered as she leaned forward and licked Nick from the top of his chest to the edge of his groin and back up again. She smiled as she heard him growl low in his throat. This was better. She had some power now. She started licking his body slowly, stopping every so often to place wet, sucking kisses over his nipples and abs. She licked the Celtic tattoo just above his heart.
“What does this mean?” The intricate knot woven in navy blue was beautiful against the tanned flesh of his skin.
“It is a Celtic heart that has no beginning or end. It symbolizes eternal love.”
“You believe in that?” It was not what she expected of the moonlight man. True, she knew little about him but it seemed wildly romantic for a man who seduced women in the moonlight. It also made her feel strangely warm inside.
“Yeah, I believe that.”
Celestine kissed his tattoo and continued licking down his body to his cock. She stopped and looked at the man beneath her. She grabbed his cock in both hands. She smiled as he groaned. Excellent.
“Shall I suck you until you come or just toy with you a little?” Celestine leant down and licked the head of his cock.
“Oh God,” Nick grabbed her head to pull her closer to his bulging cock.
Celestine pushed him away.
“Don’t touch or I won’t suck you.” The power to drive him insane was hers.
Given that alternative Nick dropped his hands to the bedding.
“I’ll behave for now.”
“Good boy,” Celestine murmured as she licked him slowly up and down the straining shaft, massaging his balls as she went. She could feel under her hands just how on edge Nick was. Perfect. She took his cock into her mouth as far as he would go and sucked down hard.
“Oh baby…” Nick felt like he was going to explode.
Celestine never knew sucking a man could be like this. It was incredibly intimate yet intensely powerful and she liked it. The buck of Nick’s hips let her know he wanted to come. Too bad. She wasn’t going to let him. She took her mouth off his cock and looked at it gleaming in the moonlight.
“Do you want me to ride you moonlight man? Do you want me to grind down on top of you all tight and wet taking every inch of you inside me? “
“God yes!” His hands reached for her hips wanting her on top of him now.
Celestine slid down on his cock feeling his hot hard heat inside her. Damn he felt good. It was a shame to waste that but that’s what she was going to do. The man had to be taught a lesson.
“Oops…I don’t have a condom. I guess we can’t have sex after all.” She lifted off of Nick’s cock and crawled off the bed. Leave her all hot and wanting would he? I don’t think so. Celestine walked toward the door.

What happens next? Someone learns a lesson.

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

Who survives the dreaded umbrella?

Yesterday on www.kkirch.blogspot.com Sam had pulled out a deadly blue pen that had our cast of adventurers and misfits agog at his threatening behaviour. Uh huh...please now read on for today's episode of when a woman with a peeler meets twins, a virgin assassin and a nympho Queen as they travels through dimensions...cue the music...hit the lights...

“Lord, I have had enough of these twits,” Beaky Sprott, the Queen’s man in waiting, murmured tiredly. None of them were worth a damn except the tall warrior woman and the man with the pen in his hand. It was funny how this Sam fellow was unaware of the power he held in his meaty fist. Such innocence could be useful. “Kill all of them bar the quilled woman and the scruffy looking man beside her.” Those two had potential.

“The usual way sire?” The commander of the Larissian guard asked as he lifted the laser umbrella and set the button on the handle to kill.

“Yes and make it quick.” Thank the purple moon. No more sex with the Queen. His thigh scales would have a chance to regenerate and he would be able to swallow his food without screaming. Lord, sex was painful. At least now I will be able to grow my fingers back.

With nimble grace the commander pointed his laser umbrella at each victim and dispersed of them in a quick open and shut motion before any of them realized what was happening. “All dead sire. Shall I send in the trolls to clean up?”

Hmm, the trolls. They were quick at cleaning up the dead but their giggles were so annoying. “Yes, but tell them the first one that giggles gets strung up by their nose hair.” That would teach those rodent-like creature to grow it long.

But not everyone was dead. One hardy soul still remained alive trying not to breathe for fear of instant death.
“I will live through this and get my revenge,” vowed the survivor.

Where will Anny take it? I am sure it will be someone along the infinite corridors of time. Tune in same Emmeline time on www.annyccok.blogspot.com.

I ran a competition to suggest a good hero’s name. I had a lot of people email me with names they liked. The names of lovers, husbands and kids. All good names. The two winners of the competition were Beverley Ann and Frances. The names they supplied – Mortie and Harold. Unusual names? No. Heroic names – sure, why not? Beverley’s Mortie and Frances’ Harold are important to them and that’s good enough for me. And no, I personally will not name a hero Mortie or Harold but that thing is it’s good to know there are men like Mortie and Harold out there being the men they are. A man or women does not have to have an usual name to be a good, loving person and a hero in someone’s eyes. Thank you for everyone who entered. Heroes are indeed amongst us.

9/11 – who will ever forget? It was a horrible event that touched everyone regardless of what country they lived in. To all the service men and women from whatever country, peacemaking or peacekeeping all around the world, we are proud of you. Be safe and may you come home soon

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?