Do you want fries with that?

While I was out walking at lunchtime I stopped at the local McDonald’s. I am not a fan of Maccas. There is nothing wrong with it – it just does not appeal to me. I worked at Maccas as a teenager and later as an adult in London. I believe I have had my fill of McDonald’s. Anyway, I stopped to get a large lemonade as it was hot as hell outside. I placed my order and the women behind the counter said do you want fries with that – as they do. I myself have uttered those words because it’s something you have to do. Though, to be honest, I only ever said them if management were watching and I was already in deep shite for ‘not being a team player.’

I looked at the woman today and thought I have bought a drink only. No burger or anything else. Is it likely I am going to say ‘oh yeah, what the hell two Big Mac’s, a caramel sundae and a large fries.’ Suggestive sell always amuses me. Do they did we are that dumb that we are going to go ‘sure, load me up with crap I don’t want and did not ask for.’ When I first worked for Promptel, not it’s real name, they shoved me into the new phone connections area. You had to sell, sell, sell. Oh hard, as Ethel would say. I sucked at upselling as I did not care. I did not believe their threats that they would sack me if I did not make 20 sales an hour. Others did. They worked their arses off and got rewarded with pretend money that they could used to buy things like Promptel hats, beer coasters and key rings. Yes I, the bolshie militant woman that I am, missed out on getting a “I took the Promptel sales challenge and won t-shirt.” Yes, how foolish of me. My idea of selling was –

A - Do you want call waiting?
Customer - Is it any good?
A – Got any friends that you need to desperately speak to?
C – No, not really
A – I wouldn't bother then. You like to ignore the phone when it rings?
C – Yeah
A – Well, get messagebank then
C – Is it good?
A – So I am told to tell you
C – What else can I have?
A – There’s a bunch of useless crap I can whack on your service that will then tie you to Promptel for life.
C- Nah, not interested.
A – So any other questions? (Just get off the line. It's my break)
C – No
A – Swell.

See, quite the sales woman. I was actually made to go to a Sales training course with Ethel. It was a three day thing. We were asked to leave after two hours as we were not taking it seriously. Fancy. Actually I never went back to it or attended the training for the Ethics Course I flunked. That would have been a hoot.

So why am I prattling on about fries? Or as we would call them in Australia - chips. It could be that I have not had chips since Billy was a pup (a long time) due to doing the boring health thing or it comes back to selling which leads me to customer service. The driveway – a thing of beauty and a joy forever – got put in today. Yes, hallelujah and pass the gin. They did such a great job and they even laid all the bark and dirt that I had piled up to do on the weekend in the garden bed beside the driveway. I did not ask them to do it but that’s excellent customer service. It’s the small, unasked touches that count.



At work….

I heard the words today…”Ask Amarinda, I don’t want to override anything she had said.” Excellent. I rule the office. But I knew that. We have a new manager type person. I have him completely bluffed. He said to me “You work so hard” and “you are time poor in this job.” Perfect. Just the look I was going for. I am a great believer in smoke and mirrors. I like to leave my desk as messy as possible as people think “Boy, she is busy.” I am. I am busy writing books and chatting online. How I fit in work is anyone’s guess. So, the new guy is under my thumb and the others are too scared to go against my judgements. I rock.

When I read Kelly’s version of the blog serial on www.kkirch.blogspot.com, I believe I said ‘what the’ and ‘sigh’ and ‘I am completely blank.’ She likes to do that to me. I plan to get her roaring drunk when I meet her as payback. So check out what she has written and tell me she’s not insane. Anny, slightly saner- if you overlook her need to write about blue people with fangs – has great words of wisdom on www.annycook.blogspot.com. Anny to me is a cross between Mary Ellen Walton, Mata Hari and Marilyn Monroe – wise, deceptive and a wild sex goddess – as all women are. She is talking about Thanksgiving and exploding turkeys…well of course, anything else would not be an Anny blog.

So tell me? What have you done today to drive someone insane?

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?