Sunday, 4 November 2007

Sunday stuff...

So, I was talking on line to my blog partners Kelly and Anny about what to write for a blog. I was going to rabbit on as normal about Sunday stuff but Kelly suggested the following items to discuss, I am sure as a throw away thing, but what the hell…

Toys – well, we all know Christmas is coming. One year many moons ago, I worked as a causal staffer in a major retail store. I was part of what they called ‘the flying squad.’ This was a bunch of staff members who could work in any department as they were greedy for money and so full of bull they could sell anything to anyone. Though, I personally think I was there due to my charm. Anyway, one Christmas I was called in to work in the toy department on the day Santa Claus made his grand entrance to the store. OMG – what a frenzy! Feral children everywhere, parents pushing and shoving to get the latest toy for their ankle biters and the staff members having to at one stage sit of the counters to avoid being crushed. Yes, the true spirit of Christmas.

The purpose of the cock ring – to be honest I have never seen a cock wear a ring. Where exactly would it go? Roosters as far as I understand have talon feet so am wondering how effectively a ring would stay on one of those talons when they are scratching around in the barnyard. And is it just the cocks or do the hens wear rings? It’s certainly an intriguing question.

Collection of the oddest jobs (like the person who as to name the colors in a carpet sample) - Never had to name colour samples though I am sure I would be good at that – Pukeable brown, vomitose orange, regrettable lime. Never had any odd jobs. I did once get offered a waitress job where at the end of the interview he said “You wouldn’t have any objection to being topless would you?” I said “No, not as long as you don’t mind having your testicles cut off and stapled to your ears.” He had an issue with this and no, I did not get the job.

The benefits of yogurt – I love and adore low fat cheesecake yogurt. The benefits? Well, I like the taste and all the active bacteria within is supposed to be good for your gizzards – though have you ever noticed when they announce things like “Red wine is good for you” two months later after you have been sculling red wine they then announce “red wine is bad for you.” They do it all the time – “eat chocolate, but don’t”, “coffee is good but you will die if you keep drinking it.” Frigging hell. My theory is we are all going to die. If you are happy doing what you are doing then what the hell

Postulating on the benefits of living in a tree. I love trees. I have a ginormous melaleuca tree in my backyard. It’s the tea tree with the papery bark. Beautiful tree. When I was traveling in the US many moons ago, we were all dragged out very, very early one morning to see the world’s biggest sequoia tree at Yosemite. I can tell you a bunch of hung-over Aussies who cannot see clearly at 4am in the morning aren’t impressed by a tree. We all looked at it and went – uh huh, that it? I, of course, get the significance now, though still not at 4am in the morning after a hike.

If Nessy really ever existed – sure, why not? I exist, you exist, why can’t a big-arsed swimming dinosaur be swimming around Loch Ness? I went to Loch Ness and took the obligatory photos. I saw nothing but that does not mean Nessy is not swimming around doing his or her thing. Let Nessy be. If he wants to be found he will.

- writing the next book – sex, romance, opposites attracting despite loathing each other.
- broke the diet – because I could and I am blaming author Barbara Huffert for putting the idea of ice-cream into my mind. I am too pure to have thought of it myself.
- mowed the lawn because the mowing pixies do not come when I summon them – little bastards
- walked around in shorts and a bra all day as hot and steamy – the weather not me…though sometimes...
- Discussed boobs, contests, caves, psychology, men, public sex, frogs - amongst other things with Anny and Kelly

As you know, the blog serial taxes our brains so we rest them on Sunday. However on, Anny as always will fascinate and intrigue you while Kelly on will have you wondering about her sanity…I mean her wisdom. Visit their blogs and please write cryptic comments in made up names.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Kelly Kirch said...

Regrettable lime has a ring to it. As for the sequoia, it's going to still be there at 9am. What was the purpose of the early rise?

barbara huffert said...

I told you before AJ, it doesn't count as breaking your diet unless you come up with the idea of ice cream all on your own and go to the store specifically to retrieve that and nothing else. If I mention it first there are no calories. If you happen to pick some up when you're at the store for other items the calories of the ice cream are distributed among all your purchases.

Anny Cook said...

Ahhh. Does it work the same for cheesecake?

Just a thought...maybe the cock ring goes around the leg like one of those little metal id tags.

I love big trees. The oak tree I got my first acorns from is about seven stories high. The one in front of my apartment is four stories high. Weird that I had to move to an apartment to finally have a tree in my yard.

Molly Daniels said...

Don't you know, once you insert any utensil (or teeth!) into a deliciously sweet dessert, the calories fly out? My favorite poster in college was one of the comic Cathy, smashing a bunch of Oreos, saying, "Broken cookies contain fewer calories!"

barbara huffert said...

Of course it does, Anny. Also, if a friend brings dessert or treats of any kind there are no calories because it was a gift.

Amarinda Jones said...

yes, you are's calorie foolish of me to forget