Friday, 19 October 2007

Friday…hallelujah and pass the gin…

Friday…no work tomorrow. Woo hoo! This was my Friday…

Someone let me down today. While it pisses me off, it does not surprise me. I am a jaded soul. I stopped believing in promises years ago. I think I was 4 years old at the time. Anyway this person said he had to let me down because he was busy. Oh pluh-lease…do not try that piss weak excuse on me. Who isn’t busy? I would rather be told that he was abducted by aliens, called to serve the dark side or got stuck in the refrigerated section of the local bottlo (liquor shop).

“I’m was busy” is not an excuse I will accept. Everyone is busy. That’s the way the world is. No one has time to do anything any more. I told this individual, “Do not pee on my head and tell me it’s raining. You are no busier than anyone else. If you cannot honour your word then do not give it.” I find that men hate to have their honour questioned so I like to throw that word in alot. He blustered on with many half-arsed reasons. I just shook my head and said ‘whatever’ and walked away. Will I answer his messages on my answering machine? Gee, if I wasn’t so busy…

I upset someone at work today. Yes, I know, shocking. How did I do this? Well this male in Sydney sent me and a female in another office a smart arse hurry-up-and-do-what-I- command email. I left reading it for a least an hour as I do not respond well to commands. When I did open it I saw red. He basically was having a kniption fit because he had buggered something up and wanted us to fix it NOW! Yes, the whole email was in CAPITALS. Maybe he had the caps lock on and did not know it because clearly his head was up his backside or he was pig ignorant of email etiquette. But the thing that annoyed me most, he was quite rude to the other email recipient. I emailed back, very sweetly and calmly, and told him to pull his head in. Yes, naturally, this went over like a lead balloon with the other males in the office as you do not tell a man off.

Amarinda, he is justified in all he says.”

“He is wetting his pants over something he stuffed up and apportioning blame to the blameless.”

“You have to understand the pressure he is under.”

“Is it the same amount of pressure that everyone else on the planet is under yet they manage to remain polite and responsible for their actions?”

I am still waiting on an answer to this one. Men, I don’t hate them. It’s just there are just so many strange ones out there and I seem to know them all.

I am getting the driveway ripped up and a new one put in. I have had various concrete-type people turning up to give quotes. Tradesmen fascinate me. They always assume you know nothing of their business. I will admit I do exploit this to get what I want. I look feminine, vague and oohh and ahh as I listen to their words – that is until I get to talking dollars. Like I haven’t researched whatever the trade and prices are before they get there. I am woman. I always get what I want.

I was kicking around titles with blog mates Anny and Kelly today at work when I should have been working. I don't feel bad about this as I don't like to stifle my creativity with mundane rules. Anyway titles are just as important as covers. You have to grab someones attention in a couple of seconds. Below are some of the half arsed titles we came out with. No, surprising we won't be using any of these. They are the clean ones we came up with

Torch Me Not
Doyle's Goyle
Inn and Out
Cave Boy
Caving Inn
What are you doing behind me?
Inn, Up and Out
Dave in The Cave
A Close Cave

Yes, we are usually a lot smarter than this – see - & However I believe Mercury is in retrograde and that is affecting the left side of everyone's brains at the moment. No, really, I am almost certain this is true. Have you noticed everyone is walking lopsided this week? Tilt you head and watch people and you will see what I mean.

So, I sit here with a bottle of plonk and relax and wonder what the bloody hell will happen next Friday?

May the force be with you.

When we last left the blog serial on with Kelly…

Emmeline leaned forward, flipping open the latch. Her brow wrinkled with consternation. What the?? She held two metallic balls aloft. They were joined by a silken string and rattled when she shook them. Picking up another item from the box, it resembled a string of pearls with increasing sizes. Another item looked suspiciously like an enormous conical pacifier. Was this to be used on the dragon? Perhaps to plug his fire-breathing hole?

Too late, Emmeline realized she'd been so absorbed in the box of strange trinkets she'd failed to keep her eye on the distant dragon. She knew her error instantly, for the wet, steaming breath on the nape of her neck. Emmeline's quills stood on end. Where was the peeler when she needed it?

My turn…

Undeterred, Emmeline swung the metallic balls swiftly above her head like a bola and threw them at the dragon. They wrapped around his neck stopping it instantly as it choked on the restraint. Emmeline knew she had to seize the opportunity so she grabbed the pearl-like string and the conical object. She ran forward and quickly wound the pearls around the gagging dragon’s feet. It crashed to the ground. Emmeline jumped on top of its scaly body.

“Where the hell am I?” She held the coned object threateningly at its throat.

“I say that was a bit rough, wasn’t it?” The dragon ripped the bola from its neck.

“You can talk?” She pressed one of the buttons on the strange weapon. It began to vibrate against his scales.

“Well duh,” snorted the dragon. “A little to the left with your massager would be great.”

Emmeline jabbed the object hard into his soft underbelly. “Talk or you will be sorry, dragon breath.”

“Oh crap, that hurts.”” He whined. “You are in the land of the Fae.”

“I’m Faeryland? That bastard!” Zoltan knew she had been abducted by faeries as a child. The scars caused by the faeries ran deep. Not all faeries were good. “How do I get out of here?” She ground her booted heel into her chest.

“Oh Emmeline, you should know by now you cannot escape a faery.”

Emmeline opened her mouth wide in shock as she had the familiar voice. “Oh no, it can’t be you.”

“Welcome back Emmie.” Mephisto smiled at her. “Let’s play.”

What will Anny do tomorrow on

Blogs to read…. - life in the American heartland - a sexy, vamp girl’s journey of self discovery, caffeine and cigarettes. - fun, sexy reading and you win stuff.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Dakota Rebel said...

Can I use "What are you doing behind me?" That is awesome. If there will be dib calling on rejected titles, then I call dibs on that one.


anny cook said...

Good selection of titles. Mephisto? I'm gonna have to work on that one...

Kelly Kirch said...

There were so many great titles bandied about last night. I swear we were all subject to some astrological something or other. Inn Her Cave, My Peter... wish I could remember them all. I was howling.

I loved this blog, AJ. Probably my favorite one yet.

Amarinda Jones said...

Yeah, I was partial to "What are you doing behind me" - could mean just about anything...

Kelly Kirch said...

Or... Exactly Where is Your Other Hand? What's that on my Leg? Don't Torch Me!

Amarinda Jones said...

Is that a torch in your pocket?

jackie rogers said...

ok I'm hooked on the blogga saga