Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Nothing for everyone…

Nothing – definition from the Internet -

1. No thing; not anything:
2. No part; no portion:
3. One of no consequence, significance, or interest:

Okay – I am going with number 3. Absolutely nothing of any consequence happened today. Stuff all. Zip. Why do I mention this? Have you ever wondered how often nothing happens and how much of our life it takes up?
- What are you doing? Nothing much.
- Anything exciting happen today? No, nothing.
- Are you doing anything tonight? Nothing at this stage.

So why is it that something that has no significance, part or potion is apart of our lives? Yes, how existential am I today? I usually wait for a Friday night when I have a glass of plonk in my hand to waffle on. But really think about it. We are all busy, busy, busy. We barely have time to spit – please don’t spit if you do have time, it’s just an expression I like to use – and yet nothing is always there -
- I’m hungry. There’s nothing to eat
- I’m bored, there’s nothing to do
- It’s happened and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Nothing is always with us. But I guess that’s something as opposed to just anything and that’s a probably a good thing.

Just as I finished writing my nothing epic at work where I was doing – er, nothing, Sara, my overseas counterpart rang me. Sara is from a culture that is wildly different to my own. I constantly shock her. Someone has to and she keeps coming back for more. Anyway, Sara was upset as her manager was being a – er, I was going to use dickhead but that’s probably not polite so I’ll use idiot. Why was he like that she asked me? I explained my tight undies theory to her. Some men get so caught up in their tight underwear that it affects their thinking. Sara said the manager had put on some weight recently. There you go. It’s his undies cutting off his brain. What was the solution she asked? I said maybe he needs boxer shorts or he goes commando. Her voice lowered with interest. “What is this commando?” She asked. I explained the principle of letting it all hang out and that some men really shouldn’t go into Special Forces. She then asked shyly, “What is a T-string men wear?” I explained it was a ‘G’ string and that the only time a man should have one of those was on a guitar.

Yesterday on Kelly’s poignant, soulful epic ended beautifully with a woman’s need to fulfil her yearning to be with her man…er, eagle….

There was the added pressure of knowing she was five years late. With the coronation upon him, he wouldn’t be happy to see her, but she’d always had a thing for Eagle tail.

Today on Amarinda

She should have cut that sucker off five years ago and collected the bounty while she had the chance. She would have been rich. The tail of a shape-shifting eagle such as Leonardo was worth a fortune. PJ pulled out her machete from the scabbard at her waist. “Time to go a-hunting.”

* * * * *

Gabrielle looked at the ice-cream Max offered her. “What do you want Max?” She wasn’t about to be swayed be either his good looks or dairy products. She had no need for a man in her life.

“I want us to be together.” He put the bowl down and reached for her.

Gabrielle side stepped him. “Why?”

“I ache for you Gabrielle.”

“If you take an aspirin or something I’m sure it will pass.”

“I want us to have a baby.”

Gabrielle looked at him in horror. “You know babies are forbidden. The mere mention of a baby and the Equatorial Council will banish you to the fiery hell of Nebulon Six.”

“I don’t care what the council says. People have had babies in the past.” Max pointed out.

She backed away from him. “The past is just that. There are to be no more babies.” Crazy talk like that would get them killed.

“Mistakes can happen.”

“I am not having sex with you Max.” Gabrielle was adamant.

“Why not?”

Because it took me too damn long to harden my heart to you. No, he could never know that. “There is someone else,” she lied.

Tomorrow on Anny will probably have someone getting married and if that happens, get your fans out ladies as it will get hot, hot, hot. What am I talking about? Go to and buy Chrysanthemum and you will see.


anny cook said...

Ah, Amarinda, you make me laugh every morning! You certainly opened my eyes to the possibility of nothing!

Molly Daniels said...

I have a friend who calls me on average of once a week, and asks what's going on in town. Even though I say 'nothing new', the conversation still lasts about 30 minutes or so! He's bored and I'm his only link to this town. Occassionally, I find something to tell him, but it still amazes me how he persists...

Kelly Kirch said...

He must be easily amused, eh Moll?

AJ, in rare form as ever. Your nothing is still something else.

Molly Daniels said...

Real easy, as I can surf the web, read the blogga, type replies, and still carry on an (ahem!) intelligent conversation with him...

Kelly Kirch said...

As AJ would say, cut the bunny boiler loose.