Who me? Manipulate?

The definition of manipulation…"exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage.”

The definition of management. .. “is the organizational process that includes strategic planning, setting; objectives…”

As you may know, or if you don’t know, I work in a male dominated office. There are no other women there. Of late stuff has been happening that I am not being kept in the loop about. Why? Well, I don’t have a penis – which is good as it would not match any of my clothes. Anyway something is up and everyone is denying it and they are all doing that dumb arsed male look that only a man can do. I do, however, know we are getting another male in the office and that this has pissed some of the other males off. So in lieu of being told what is going on I have begun subtly turning them against the other. Yes, naturally, I do plan to feel terrible about doing this at some stage. Anyway, I have discovered many testosterone based insecurities about another penis coming into the office. So I have been quietly, in a very caring Lady Macbeth way, started using it against them. Basically they have all decided the new bloke is gay because if he is then is he the equivalent of a woman and therefore no threat. But if he’s not, they have been telling me ways they are going to undermine him. I have filed these away in my mind and as each tells me something. I may slip out, by mistake of course, what another – “No, it would not be right to name him” – has said. It would have been simpler for them to keep me in the loop but this is more fun for me. Watch this space.


I see manipulation as more of a form of managing my personal development and goals. Manipulation sounds so hard. So I manage situations to suit myself. A while ago my best friend Ethel and I worked for a company called Promptel, no, not its real name. But it is a real company and they were mongrels to work for. Anyway, something bad happened to Ethel at work. I used to do peer support. This was basically going in as a witness for the employee, taking notes and holding someone’s hand if they needed it. That’s the theory. In reality it as really making sure every word gets put on paper and that you stop the employee who is in trouble saying something dumb that will get them into further trouble. In this situation, we had planned it for Ethel to cry and look pathetic and let me talk. She was very good at that but occasionally she would say something and the hard arsed managers would pounce and try to use against her. I would shoot her a shut up look and then talk around in circles until they forgot what she had said. I am very good at this. The thing was we were there to get Ethel what she needed as her rights as an employee. They were there to do the opposite. We managed the situation so Ethel got what she needed even at the expense of driving management dribbling-mad insane. One of the head honchos said to me after I had scored something that he had been reluctant to give Ethel -

You’re very manipulative Amarinda

Why thank you. I was going for cunning or shrewd.


So I don’t see managing as a bad thing if it is used to help yourself and someone else. If no one gets hurt then I say use it. The other day Lola, no, not her real name, rang in a panic.

“I reckon I can get this job but I don’t have a second manager referee for the reference check.”

“Put me down as a referee.” I said.

“You weren’t my manager.”

“Yeah but they don’t need to know that.”

“It would be a lie, A” She said, followed swiftly by, “Do you think you can you get away with it?”

“You insult me Lola.” Of course I could get away with it if I managed the situation correctly.

Lola got the job. Why? Because we managed the situation to her benefit. No one got hurt. Let’s be realistic, reference checks are just to confirm in the interview's mind they are right. It’s not like they are going to ring unless they had made up their minds. In fact, by lying I am really just doing them a favour.

So I ask you is it a case of manipulation or is it more that I manage to the situation for an effective personal outcome?

I am sure you have already checked out the blog serial on www.kkirch.blogspot.com. Kelly thinks she has painted me into a corner but I can always paint myself a door. Anny is interviewing a book reviewer from Night Owl Reviews on www.annycook.blospot.com so check it out.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?