Sunday, 27 April 2008

Hmmm…what happened this Sunday?

In Amarindaland today…

- I woke up breathing this morning and considered that a bonus…that’s something positive to start the day off with.

- searched the front yard, in my pjs, for the newspaper. I found it in the fronds of the palm tree. Of course – the most logical place. Had to shake the palm to get it down. ‘Scared an early morning jogger in my beauteous flannelette state as I shook the tree. He almost stumbled and fell due to, I believe, my tousled (rats nest) hair and graceful beauty (old flannelette pjs, bed socks and my Tequila and Lime flip flops.) You either have it or you don’t. Jogger gulped and hurried along. Some men scare easily don’t they? You want they ones who don’t, but they’re the stuff of legends.

- I chatted on line, wrote lots, ate healthy and stopped for 5 minutes to contemplate by navel then I moved on.

- Looked at the television guide to reassure myself Robin Hood was on tonight only to find it is the last episode of Robin Hood – series 2. Sob. I rarely watch television but when I do there are some shows like RH and 24 – can’t think of any others - I refuse to miss. And now neither of them are going to be on. How does a cranky writer cope with such tragedy without breaking out the Tim Tams? I know the members of the The Armitage Army understand my angst.

- Had to explain to an acquaintance… er…let’s call her Rachel that an e-book is a book.
R -No it’s not. You can’t hold it in your hand.
A - Can you hold imagination in your hand?
R – Well no
A – But it exists?
B – Of course
A – So why is an e-book any different?
B – Well, because…it just is
A – Why?
B- Because, er books have pages.
A – E-books have page numbers
B – But you can’t turn them
A – Is it important to you to turn a page?
B – Well no
A – What’s your problem then?

E-book = book – hence how it has got ‘book’ at the end of the word. Now, if it was e-brick or e-shovel or an e-turnip then you could say – that’s not a book and I would have to agree with you. An e-book does become a print book. Hence the pretty covers we are given. It’s no less a book because it’s in
electronic form. People are no lesser people because they choose to buy and read it in electronic form as opposed to paper. Writers who have e-books out do not suddenly become ‘real’ writers when it goes into print. Reading is reading and books are books. If anyone would like to debate this topic with me by all means email me and I’ll be happy to argue the toss with you – but be prepared - I will win.

- I considered exercising but then decided the fact that I was breathing was more than enough proof of life to forgo exercise for a Sunday

- spoke to several people today who have lots of stuff going on in their lives. And you know what? It makes my own petty concerns seem trivial. Yes, another reality check for the week. They’re coming thick and fast at the moment.

- Look at the picture at the right. I saw this today and thought what the? I had to go back and look at it several times. What? Huh? What is it supposed to mean? It’s entitled Innocence is No Excuse and you can buy it on line at a very reputable poster place. First up – why would you take this photograph? Sure, it’s a woman in fish nets and yes there is a sexual edge to it. So why the toy rhino at her feet? Is this some existential crap that is beyond me? Please explain. Is it a joke? Who buys this stuff? And yes, I stopped long enough to look at it and wonder so I guess others would to. It was under the category of motivation> passion. Huh? This is motivating and passionate? Do women often have rhinos between their feet like this? Probably best if you don’t answer that as it would be way too much info. The legs I guess are the passion part. The toy rhino would be innocence. Is this some new trend? I bet that’s it. I bet that this is the new genre in romance writing. I suspect toy animals are going to morph into real life heroes and sweep women off their feet then go back to the toy box during the day and hang out with GI Joe after hot, sweaty romantic sex. I bet someone is writing the plot now as I speak. I can almost hear my editor’s head thump into the desk at the thought of receiving dozens of – well – I guess ‘were-toy’ manuscripts. I can see it now…

“Don’t toy with me, Priscilla.” The fluffy nylon pile on Renaldo’s back stood up in tension.

“But I can’t help it – you’re so small, cute and cuddly.” She caressed the fake fur avoiding the made in China tag stuck in the seam as it always snagged her ruby red nails

“Damn it, I want us to built a life together, Priscilla.”

“How can that be when we can only be man and woman at night? You’re world is in the toy box. You know I don’t fit in there – we tried. I still have the bruises from where the lid hit me in the head.”

“I have to find a way to break the ancient curse that keeps me from being a real man for you.”
Priscilla gasped. “But if you do that means you won’t be able to still go undercover and bust the drug ring at the toy store.”

Renaldo stamped his fluffy padded foot. “Oh cruel fate! Once again beloved we are kept apart.”

Once more I remind you to go check out Anny and Kelly’s blogs for daily enlighten.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Jacquéline Roth said...

You know if anyone could write that story it would be you, AJ. I dare you.

Anny Cook said...

Oh, damn! You beat me to the punch! I know! We could do a series about the undercover toys in the box. Think of all the places they could go...

barbara huffert said...

Robin Hood just started season 3 here. Don't worry, more are on the way to you.

Were-toys. Can't wait!

Phoenix said...

no horns=hippo

Maybe it's one of those "Furry Lovers" things. Ya know the people who have fetishes which make them dress as animal mascots cause they get off on it?? That's what I think.

Sandra Cox said...

You are too funny. Love the visual of you out searching for your newspaper.

Anny Cook said...

Damn. I bet your internet is down again... how many more days before you have "real" service???