Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Too much information ...

Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information--
Mark Twain quotes

Someone told me some pretty intimate stuff about themselves today at work. It revolved around the man in their life and what they did for love. Although it was sweet and crazy what they did - no, I’m not going to say what it was as I respect their right to privacy - it did kind of surprise me that they told me as I don’t know them that well. They said they told me about what they did as they thought I would understand. Why? Because I write romance books. That made me smile. I deal in fantasy mixed with experience. I don’t tell strangers or acquaintances truly intimate things about myself be it in a book or in person. So how comfortable are you about talking about personal stuff with strangers? Are you the sort that is happy to put it on a blog and tell everyone? Tell the people you work with? Sure there is the human element there that people want to be able to share or to be a part of a group or be perceived as ‘cool’ but how much is too much information or are you the type that is comfortable telling everything about yourself?

This is what I think – take it or leave it – I only give enough info about myself for people to form an opinion – be it good or bad. What you read you make a judgement call on it. Whether it’s right or wrong is irrelevant as it’s not all the facts. I believe everyone holds stuff back. I also believe that a high level of trust is required before you tell 90% of what you think or feel to anyone and that 10% you never tell….maybe more – depends on the person. I find it tacky women who discuss how many men they have been with. I personally don’t care who you have or haven’t had sex with. When did it become necessary for women to start boasting about it? I believe in equality of the sexes but when did women become men with the need to mark notches? Just my opinion of course but I think it’s tacky to kiss and then tell to an audience. Where is the mystery and the class in that? Am I old fashioned? Who knows how another truly judges you? Or if you should care... I think not - but care about yourself.

On the Oh Get a Grip blog they had been talking about age and alpha males etc. Age is just age – do what you like and want to is my theory. But I want to know why we have to label people – in this case men?
Why are tags important? Let’s face it it’s only one person’s perception of another. You may think X is an alpha and the next person will think he is a beta. What does it matter? Tags do not make the person. I think there are many challenges out there for woman – we know ‘em all but what about men? I think men are terrifically competitive – call it the nature of the beast. How manly is a man supposed to be? Does he have to be an alpha? Does it piss him off if he is not perceived as the go-getter, tough, masculine guy who sweeps the woman off her feet? Can a gay man be an alpha? Is it okay to be a beta? Does a man have to give a rat’s arse about labels? Can he just be himself? Does he have to compete? That man interests me. What about the men in your life – are they ‘labelled’ or are the individuals?

I read an interesting piece on the Oh Get A Grip blog a couple of days ago by a bloke and it had me thinking for many reasons. My feminist knee jerk reaction was – “Oh for heaven’s sake date women your own age” – okay I still think that - but the realist inside me, not influenced by hormones, was thinking – okay women can be dumb sometimes…not any I know of course. Some women do lead men on – I could say look at the legend of Eve - I’m sure she had a plan when it came to the whole apple thing. It just did not work out like she wanted – and maybe that’s what’s wrong with some women. They want the man to chase them and do all the hard work but then they push them away and expect the man to know what to do next – when they don’t do what is planned both parties get pissed off. Men – simple creatures – how can they possibly understand the inner workings of a woman’s mind? So here’s what I believe – be you a woman or a man – don’t piss around with people’s emotions. Be straight forward and don’t play games. You want someone or you don’t. Don’t waste each others time. Okay, and yes, if you had read any of my books you know the heroine generally gives the hero a hard time when it comes to the whole love thing but that’s fantasy – not reality. Real life demands real responses – so get real.

Frig…I have been deeper then I meant to be today…must be because it’s Wednesday and I can see some vague light at the end of the tunnel as I pass over hump day. Could be that I actually cooked food on an open flame this evening. Healthy food makes me more contemplative I believe.

Tell me….why hasn’t anyone hemmed all my pants? They’re all too long for a short arse like me. Where are the hemming pixies when you need them? I am running out of staples.

Remember to check out
Sandra Cox’s baby contest to win books, Jacqueline Roth’s contest to win a necklace and Ashley Ladd’s fantasy contest…go, seek, win.

Anny and Kelly are getting ready to attend the RT convention on Pittsburgh. If you are going make sure to check ‘em out and ask them hard questions. In the mean time read about their preparations on their blogs.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Phoenix said...

I'm an organizer. I like labels in my head but not on people. People are too complex for that.

Anny Cook said...

Men have a hard enough time being men, whatever that definition is today. Most women would run screaming into the woods if they ever encountered a real Alpha male. Men are men. Some better than others.

barbara huffert said...

You need some of that wonderful melty tape stuff for your pants. Fold up the hem, inside, iron once and voila!

Sandra Cox said...

I'm a hold stuff backer.
I agree with Barbara. Sticky tape is good stuff.
Good blog as always.

JacquƩline Roth said...

I personally hate labels. I rail against them anytime someone tries to stick one on me, be it age, personality, or other judgements. For example, last year I dislocated my knee. But when I told people how, I had to help them pick their jaws up off the floor. I dislocated it playing softball. I went down for a grounder and my lower leg bent one way and my thigh the other and POP. But I'm a fat woman. Why on earth was I playing softball. Because I can and I'm good and go chew on that with your crappy stereotypes.

Unknown said...

LOLOL. Alpha male pills? That reminds me of the movie "John Tucker Must Die" (sooooo funny - oops, forgot to add that to my Thursday 13 funniest movies list - will go fix that now) when his jilted girlfriends gave him just the opposite - estrogen.

Yeah, labels suck.