Saturday, 5 April 2008

The amazingness of nothing in particular…

Remember a couple of days ago that I mentioned a blog by someone called Zelda? She was the blogger who caused such a stir by saying e-book writers sucked. Okay – fine – give an opinion - I admire that. What I do not admire, and I believe is pathetic, is pulling the plug on a blog because people suddenly don’t like your opinions. Well, here in Oz, we would call that being a big sooky la-la. You should not give opinions if you cannot stand criticism. You have to know that is going to happen what you write the sort of flaming commentary Zelda did. What name is the next blog Zelda will use for the same tactic? I believe this was the second she pulled because people got upset at her…there probably have been more. Whatever…I expect the next one will be as credible as the last two due to the lack of commitment to stand by her words. Probably best you got out of the kitchen, dear.

Last Thursday, in the pursuit of trying to get a book finished I finally went to bed after midnight. I had nothing to eat and was so tired after work and writing that I fell asleep in my slip and hydraulic bra. I woke up this morning at 4am and felt like I was in a cage of satin and boning - added to that I was knackered. So, why do we push ourselves to do things? Is it ambition? Is it because writers have no lives when they are writing? Is it an obsession? Stuffed if I know. What obsession do you have that you will knacker yourself in the pursuit of doing it?

Someone told me I have an ‘artistic walk’ – huh? Not sure I like the sound of that. They said that I had a flamboyant way of moving…again, not sure that’s a good thing. Apparently it’s all in the way you move your hips…I’ve always thought so…and stop looking at my hips.

It’s feral Beryl…I heard on the radio that Naomi Campbell (model) got arrested because she spat on someone…charming - not. Spitting, is to me, is plain disgusting and to do so makes me view you lower than a snake’s belly. And for a woman to do it is even worse. Normally women have more sense…tacky, tacky, tacky Naomi.

Okay, there has been a lot of hoo-ha over the man that’s having a baby. Of course there had to be more to the story. Oprah had him on her show. He was a she and had a sex change. Now, I don’t care what people do – sex changes, whatever – do what you have to do to make you happy - but this is hardly the miracle of a man having a baby if the female organs remained in tact is it? Oh how we love sensationalism.

Speaking of babies….I was doing some edits for Anyone But You today and the first one was I had to remove the word ‘baby.’ Now, I was using the term as a one of endearment. This is forbidden as it conjures up visions of paedophilia. Now, I

think all paedophiles should basically be shot between the eyes – see I’m reasonable – and it annoys me that a simple word like ‘baby’ is no longer a simple word. Is honey or darling or sweetheart going to go the same way? Let’s face it, you cannot say ‘gay’ any more as it means other they being happy or bright. No, I am not against different lifestyles – see comment above – do what you have to do to be happy – that’s important – but honest to god can we leave the bloody language alone or accept that words can have other meanings without getting all political or silly about it?

I was watching the news this evening and some celebrity was engaged to another celebrity and people were trying to take photos and the reporter was rabbiting on about how exciting it was and I thought – huh? Why is this exciting? These are just two people who are no better or worst than anyone else so why are they being held up as some sort of miracle of love and engagement? Is it just my socialist upbringing of ‘Jack's as good as his master’ and I view everyone equally or are celebrities some magical beings I am unaware of? Please advise.

Also on the news is the hoo-ha over our Prime Minister Kevin Rudd saluting George W. What does that mean? Is he is awe of George? Does he recognize George as being better than him? Are all Aussies going to start saluting GW? Nope, it just means Kev, like all Aussies likes to take the piss ( have a joke) and it was just a lark to salute him across a crowded room.

I had a silly moment today….I did the laundry, hung it out on the line and then ignored it for several hours while I edited. I went down eventually to bring it in. I was momentarily shocked because none of my underwear was there. What? Who would be insane enough to nick my cotton knickers? Most strange. I mean come on, I love me but knicker worshipping is just not on. Anyway, after checking out all points of entry to the house – tighter than a fish’s arse I might add - I was perplexed. Did aliens steal my knickers? If so for what reason? Are cottontails big on planet Zork? Maybe they wear them as helmets. Anyway, I wandered into the laundry and looked in the machine. There they still were. Whew… I really do not have time to be having visitors from Zork requesting to see my underwear.

So, as you can see it’s been a shambolic day at Chez Amarinda ending with me sauntering to the local hole in the wall fisho for fish and chips in celebration of - well, nothing really but just because I could. What excitement at your place? Do tell.

Anny and Kelly are probably not discussing the possibility of stolen knickers but check them out anyway as they are always most odd yet enlightening.
I'll leave you with this cheery quote....

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. -- Neil Gaiman warm and fuzzy do we all feel now?
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anonymous said...

LOL! Glad you found your knickers AJ. Now, since your so good at finding things perhaps you can come visit and help me find the grey matter that I lost somewhere between having kids and trying to create a blog *sigh*

barbara huffert said...

Great quote. A prefect example of why love must be avoided.

Huh? I can't use baby any more? But, but, but it fits so well in what working on. Argh! Who decides these things anyway?

Anny Cook said...

Barbara, Barbara, baby has been gone for while. So is the "D" word for a man's part. Why? I have no idea. I just know I was told that I couldn't use it. No doubt the "P" word for a woman's part will be next and then I don't know what we'll use. Probably latin terms or something...

Amarinda, so glad you found your underwear though really, visitors from Zork would have been quite exciting.

Excellent quote.

Sandra Cox said...

Whew! I thought for a hot moment, Mervina had confiscated the underwear. What a relief. How is she doing by the way?

Jacquéline Roth said...

Why do I have this image of blue people (Sorry Anny) wearing white granny panties on their heads as they charge into battle?

Anny Cook said...

My blue people don't wear underwear so hey! Why not wear it as armor?

Molly Daniels said...

Hahaha...I also thought maybe Mervina had confiscated them! I clicked on Zelda's link yesterday and it was 'available by invitation only'. So I said to heck with her.