BLOGGER TEMPLATES - TWITTER BACKGROUNDS »

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Because I Can...


Emmeline licked her lips as she watched the tall, dark haired man with interest. She knew there was no way he could see her as she had hidden herself well. This was the opportunity she had been waiting for. All she had to do was wait and watch and then make her move. It certainly wasn’t a chore to watch him. He was stunning with his long dark hair, lean hard body and sexy eyes focused on the task before him. She looked at his large supple hands as he struggled to pull something free. What was it? Emmeline’s eyes opened wide with surprise. She had never seen one so big. How the hell was she going to deal with that?
….To be continued Wednesday on - http://www.annycook.blogspot.com/

I ventured to the hardware store this morning before work in search of tap washers and large bolts (yes, wildly exciting stuff) The hardware store I go to is in a huge barn like place with hardware as far as the eye can see. All the staff are incredibly helpful and perky which is good as I like to be able annoy people with questions. Although I can generally turn my hand to most things I am a great believer in asking for advice especially when I know there is a fair to average chance I will stuff something up. I like to believe I know everything but when it comes to male dominated fields like hardware I don’t. I absolutely believe in equality of the sexes and that either sex can do whatever they want to or believe that can do. In saying that there are things I can do and will not do. Things like change tires. Why? Because I don’t want to as I know a man can do it a lot quicker and honestly why would I expend energy doing it? I also am not averse to playing the dumb helpless female if it means a man will rush in and do something that I don’t want to do. Manipulative? No, I don’t believe so. I think it’s more utilizing true female power. Why dirty my hands doing something when I can flutter my eyelashes and get it done? Bad Amarinda...

Anyway, I wandered into the hardware store with a couple of old tap washers and old nuts and bolts to match up to purchase new counterparts. I did my helpless female routine and came out with a bunch a free stuff - including what I went in for. Why? Because people, in this case men, love to provide advice and assistance. My mother used to call it the “Blanche Du Bois – I’ve always been accustomed to the kindness of strangers approach.” And why not as no one gets hurt and people feel good when they help. So you could say I was providing a service for people to show their skills and feel good about themselves.

As I left the hardware store, I passed by a quintessential Aussie icon. The Sausage Sizzle. Do they have them where you live? Usually these icons are run by a charities. The good old Sausage Sizzle is big business at the hardware stores. I don’t know what it is but people are compelled to buy a sausage on a slice of bread with onions smothered over the top. Stick your caviar in your ear and give us a greasy sausage on white bread – ah the simple pleasures of life…
For those of you who asked - the results for last two polls were:-
1. Question: What was the worst pick up line ever? Result - they all scored evenly which means we are all smart, capable woman who are a wake up to every line a man can throw at us. Maybe, just a crazy thought, the truth might be worth a shot...hmmm?
2. Question: Can you get there from here? Result - as expected most people went for the existential answer, and my personal favourite "how long is a piece of string." Thank you for being pervserse.

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies

8 comments:

Kelly Kirch said...

Sausage Sizzle.... We sometimes have a big barbeque going with Bratwursts and burgers on it but I don't think it happens often. And certainly not pre-work hours. You Aussies like to start your day off stinky, huh? American's have an aversion to the public consumption of onions. Especially at breakfast time. We don't want to breathe it on other people. Even after you brush, it lingers like a bad omen.

anny cook said...

Oh, man, you're killing me Amarinda! Killing me. What the heck am I gonna do with that?

Kelly Kirch said...

You can do it, Anny! Maybe he pulls out his pointy earred symbiotic organism which is spewing obscenities from his belly button.

Amarinda Jones said...

"symbiotic organism which is spewing obscenities from his belly button." What???? I have no doubts about Anny but now I am wondering about following you,,,
As for the sausage sizzle...we Aussie's are afraid of very little and onions don't terrify us

Mona Risk said...

"symbiotic organism which is spewing obscenities from his belly button."

I can't stop laughing. This beats the sausage sizzle with or without onions!!!!!
I can't wait to read the rest of your story.

Mona

Kelly Kirch said...

So, you see, Amarinda, SOME people--like Mona--have no fear of me. Thank you Ms. Risk, your check is in the mail.

Amarinda Jones said...

Mona is good hearted and feels sorry for you

Charlene Leatherman said...

This is going to be interesting to follow.