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Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Emmeline, the twin, the peeler and the chocolate...



Yes kiddies it’s time again for Auntie Amarinda to trot out her edition of Emmeline, the twin, the peeler and the chocolate. Yes, we will probably come up with a title any day now. Did you check out Kelly Kirch’s crazy chapter six on http://www.kkirch.blogspot.com/ What was the girl thinking? And I cannot wait to see what madcap adventure Anny Cook sends Emmeline on in Chapter Eight on Wednesday on http://www.annycook.blogspot.com/ Those girls are mad I tell you. But sit back and relax…its Auntie Amarinda’s turn. When we left Kelly’s blog our heroine Emmeline had just pointed out to the twin the peril of coming too close to her and he wanted to know why …now read on…

“Touch me and find out.” Emmeline laughed at his stunned look. “What? Are you scared? Weren’t you the one who had delusions of tasting me? Are the poisonous hairs on my back a little too kinky for you fang boy?” She twirled the peeler in her hand casually, knowing even though he was blind to her he could still hear its deadly hum. “Only a real man can handle them.”

“Like my brother?”

“Oh yeah, now there’s a man.” Emmeline looked the twin up and down. He wasn’t bad but he just wasn’t the one. “And just because you have the equipment doesn’t mean you are a real man.”

“You are a bitch.”

“And your point is?” She pulled her goggles back on. Emmeline knew she would need them where they were going. “Follow me or stay - but I need your brother and I need him now.”

* * * * *

At the hide out of the Zucchini dealers, Rafe watched the women sort through the zucchinis. One of the dealers viewed their guest with interest.

“The women folk like the zucchinis because they’re so big, hard and long and they’re good for…cooking heh heh heh.”

“I noticed they all have peelers.” He had never seen so many women with the deadly instrument. It was enough to make any man wary.

“A woman has to protect herself even up here. Where is your woman?”

“She is coming for me.” And the thought of it chilled Rafe to the bone.

What is a peeler you ask? You will just have to keep reading. But on to other stuff…the minutiae of my life…

I gave an opinion at work today and got in trouble. The fact that I got in trouble does not bother me as I do tend to get in trouble quite a bit and it’s like water off a duck’s back. It’s the fact that I am not the shy retiring type so why ask me for an opinion when you know I will give an answer and it may not be the one you necessarily want to hear? So why ask? It’s only going to piss both of us off in the end.I am never going to be a person that agrees the emperor is clothed when he is butt ugly naked. Yes, I probably should shut up and think sycophantic thoughts but I cannot do that. It’s a case of to thine own self be fair dinkum.(true – for non Aussies.) A friend of mine read Because I Can and she said “Bloody hell, Miranda is you.” And I guess she is (apart from the sex…what is that again?) as I tend to call a spade a shovel and I am not known to sit quietly when I believe something is wrong. I believe writers tend to write what they know about unless you are like Anny Cook and you write the wild, sexy and funny Chrysanthemum – but then maybe Anny has multiple body piercing and has wild sex – what do I know? If so I am naturally jealous. Came-a-lot sounds like a fun place to visit…also exhausting. Read the book and you'll find out.

So tell me – why is it we aren’t allowed to be individuals and think for ourselves? Why can’t people have way out thoughts? How does anything every get invented or changed without them? Sure I believe in team work but why are we not supposed to step outside the team and say if we think something could be better? And don’t give me the “there is no ‘I’ in team crap.” That is just pseudo babble that someone came up with to keep everyone in their place. What if you don’t want to stay put? We cannot all follow like mindless sheep. At some stage of our lives – working or not – we have to stand up and say – “Well, no I disagree and these are the reasons why – or this is the way we can improve.” I don’t mind if someone wants to disagree with me but don’t think of going the rounds of the table with me because I dared to disagree. Ok, I am calmer now...I have bridge the built and I move on all the time remembering who pissed me off in the true Scorpio way so I can subtly torture them later when the least expect it. Plenty more trouble to get into tomorrow.

I got an email from someone I had not heard from in years. Why had they emailed me? Well they had heard on a previous work grapevine that I was getting books published. They wanted a free copy. Oh how I laughed. People are funny aren’t they? Did I send a free book? Gee, I would have liked to but I got an arm cramp.

11 comments:

anny cook said...

You know mentioning my book is not enough sucking up for the corner you painted me in with Emmeline! So, poisonous hairs, golden quills, and humming peelers. This ought to be good. Just remember that revenge is sweet!

Amarinda Jones said...

Oh how I know that but you see the thing is it will only rebound on Kelly

Kelly Kirch said...

Yeah, hey Anny, do ya mind? I don't do torture well. Besides if you ping me, I ping AJ.

humming peelers....sheesh.

Amarinda Jones said...

I cannot be pinged

Charlene said...

Pinging and peelers aside, I will have to remember the arm cramp.

anny cook said...

Yes, that is very creative. I figured I would let my dog take the heat as in she ate them all...

Kelly Kirch said...

Anny, don't forget to give me a heads up on your post. Have you written it yet?

And now AJ, you have issued me a challenge. I shall see if I can ping you big.

Amarinda Jones said...

I actually use the arm cramp excuse a lot as it tends to confuse people - so by all means use it. And Kelly, poor, sweet innocent Kelly...do your best mate...though after reading what Anny intends to publish on her blog...lots of luck

Mona Risk said...

Guess where I was all day?
Buying and bargaining for a zucchini peeler, of course. Yeah, it's the fashionable thing for strong women. And I bought a pack of zucchini to practice on before I use my sharp peeler on the REAL THING. I was told I have to keep it in my purse...to be ready for any eventuality.

Mona

Amarinda Jones said...

I hope you got the heavy duty kind as peeling is hard work

Kelly Kirch said...

And it must hum, too. Chopin, Mozart...one of the greats.