Saturday, 21 July 2007

Patience thy name is not Amarinda

Holy snapping ducks! Have you checked out our ongoing serial about Emmeline and the man who has chocolate in his hands, attitude issues and now has a twin brother no one except me a knew about? What am I talking about? Why go to author Anny Cook’s blog and see how she deals with my surprise advent of a twin brother. Got to say Anny I am pleased you got that peeler and fangs into the story. It was beginning to get worried that you might be slipping. Then jump over to author Kelly Kirch’s blog - and read her plans for revenge when she puts her own spin on the story on Monday. Lots of luck with that one Grasshopper. Please note we will not accept excuses like the dog ate your homework. I eagerly await my turn Tuesday. Bring it on.
I have been awaiting a rain water tank for a couple of months now. Not an unusual occurrence in Brisvegas at the moment as every second person is waiting the arrival of a rain water tank. Why? Because we have no rain. Why get a rain water tank? Well to put rain in of course. You’re thinking - what? Has the Jones girl lost the plot? Yes, but that was years ago and I no longer worry about being plot-less – now I just wing it. Anyway, we are all putting in rain water tanks in the hope that it will actually rain and then we can use some of that rain water on gardens, cars or if push comes to shove – to drink. We are in a drought at the moment and the government is encouraging everyone to save water. Four minute showers, level 5 water restrictions and trying to make people to use no more than 140 litres of water a day. We are not in panic mood as we are Aussies and we do not panic. We have been through all this before. There is a famous Aussie poem called My Country that Dorothea McKellar wrote in 1904 – see I was awake a school. I only zoned out in Math…oh and Science...and I rarely turned up for sport and I sucked at geography but other than that I was the ideal student. Part of the poem is…
I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of rugged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror
The wide brown land for me!
That’s Australia – beautiful, terrifying, dry and flooded. A land of extremes. And yes, maybe I'll bung on a limerick tomorrow if I can think of a clean one. Anyway I digress as I always do - I had a phone call today asking me did I really want the ‘storm blue’ colour rain water tank that I ordered. Why yes, that’s why I picked the colour. I was told no one ever chooses this colour - confirmation again that I am indeed a little bit different. But if no one ever picks that colour why have it on the colour chart I asked? The man just sighed as if he had been through this conversation with many women before and he knew it was pointless trying to explain it. Lets face it, straight men don't understand colour. The bottom line was I could have 'storm blue' in 3 months or get another coloured tank in two weeks. Being the impatient woman I am I went for door number two. The colour options I could have in two weeks? Mist Green or Heritage Red – or after viewing the last colour I would think Bloodbath Red would be a more appropriate name. Some definite bad ju-ju having having a bleeding tank attached to your house. Anyway I drove the man on the phone insane for a bit and ended up getting a bigger rain water tank in mist green and $100 knocked off the original price. Why? Because he wanted to shut me up and it was easier to give me stuff than let me prattle on about the dreadful inconvenience caused to me. I actually enjoy being annoying. Try it. People will just give you stuff to shut you up. So in two weeks I will have a rain water tank. I firmly believe in two weeks it will rain. If not, it will be a very large mist green garden ornament that will be a bugger to mow around.
I am off to the Sunshine Coast tomorrow for the day. This is a still fairly un-commercialized area about an hour from Brisvegas. It has sand, sun and surf. I don't do any of those as I am more of a sit on the balcony and drink wine as I watch the waves crash on the beach type of person. Nature works for me at a distance. This will be followed by wandering off to the local markets buying stuff I don’t need. I hope your Sunday is as pleasant. And Kelly? Get writing girl.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


Anonymous said...

This is Scott, Grasshopper's husband. We don't have a dog. Will a cat do?

Phoenix said...

Well, AJ, you asked him to comment more often....

and this part:"Why? Because he wanted to shut me up and it was easier to give me stuff than let me prattle on about the dreadful inconvenience caused to me. I actually enjoy being annoying. Try it. People will just give you stuff to shut you up." only works when you are a princess. Everyone else just threatens you within an inch of your life to shut up.

As for getting writing? Well, I have to clear the sudden panic from my mind and come up with something clever, hopefully.

Anny Cook said...

Hey, Scott! I'll accept a cat, gerbil, guinea pig...whatever you have. Of course, I don't know about Amarinda. She's tough.

Unknown said...

Sorry Scott I will not accept excuse notes from Grasshopper's husband - though to be honest I just read what your dear wife proposes as chapter 6 and I am gob smacked. She is an evil genius. I am so proud to think Anny and I may have had a hand in that.
And Anny you are correct I am tough - any tougher and I'd rust. As for being a princess Grasshopper - close - I am a Queen

Phoenix said...

Like the band with all the Halloween costumes?