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Monday, 11 July 2011

The I love you thing…

I was watching a movie – an Aussie one – on TV the other night. The story revolved around a man who had never said ‘I love you’ to his girlfriend. She wasn't happy with that. She wanted proof of his love and his belief in their relationship and the whole declaration of love was what she needed or basically she was going to leave him. Big sook I say…anyway, while it was a really good movie it did make me think a lot of what we ask of others. None of us really know what’s in the minds of those we love or how hard it may be for them to express their feelings or reconcile their feelings or how they worry about disappointing us. That the heroine of the movie needed to be reassured constantly told me more about her emotional problems and the need to be loved than the hero’s...actually, she needed a good slap back into the land reality...but that's probably another movie. The hero seemed to be happy regardless of what words were said. So here’s what I think. I believe while saying ‘I love you’ makes the receiver of that message happy, is it worth getting that message after harping on someone to say it? Isn’t love all about the unspoken things you do for the one you love? Why should there be a constant need to hear the words? Can’t we just be with someone because they make us happy and feel good? I think 'I love you' is vastly overrated and of course romance writers perpetuate this. So, from now on, no more ‘I love you’ in my books. Love – it’s not all about one person.

6 comments:

Luci.Calanor said...

I would rather having some show me they love me all the time and never say it than have someone say it but never show it.

Amarinda Jones said...

I agree 100%. Let's abolish I love you and stop the emotional blackmail of it

Willsin Rowe said...

I can't think of the movie in question, but I agree with what you're saying, Amarinda (and with your comment, Luci).

How true does an "I love you" feel if you've been demanding it for months before you receive it?

It also sounds reminiscent of that rather ordinary movie "He's Just Not That Into You". Notably the Jennifer Aniston/Ben Affleck pairing, where he won't propose to her so she leaves him. All he wants is to be with her, and she wants to be with him but, importantly, on terms which suit her. Eventually she comes to realise that he's a wonderful man for her and a wedding ring doesn't matter. BUT THEN HE CAVES IN AND PROPOSES!

Amarinda Jones said...

"BUT THEN HE CAVES IN AND PROPOSES!"

Women like that annoy the crap out of me.

Amarinda Jones said...

"BUT THEN HE CAVES IN AND PROPOSES!"

Women like that annoy the crap out of me.

Willsin Rowe said...

That was only one part of the movie I disliked. In fact, I objected to it in spirit because it wanted to be "Love, Actually" or any of the other Richard Curtis-penned British rom-coms...but fell way short. In my opinion.