Thursday, 14 June 2007

Hallelujah and pass the gin

Tomorrow is the most beautiful day of the week. It’s Friday – the end of the working week and even better it is pay day. Money- what a glorious word. So hallelujah and pass the gin I say! Bring on the weekend!

It’s been a hell of a week at work - drama, chaos, tears and cold silences. People resigned then un-resigned. I have had people wanting to record other people’s phone conversations – why I don’t know as it’s not like we talk about anything fascinating. There have been tears almost on a daily basis for god knows what reason unless we are all premenstrual at the same time and the internet crashed and put all our work behind. This annoyed me in particular as I rely on the work internet for reading personal emails.

But it all came to a head today when I had to talk someone out of – as she put it -“stapling his genitals.” How one uses a stapler for this I am not one hundred percent sure as it seems to me no man is going to stand still long enough to have his genitals stapled. And yes, I am sure there are men out there who probably deserve to have said genital stapling happening but I really don’t need it happening at work. I was not really sure why – let’s call her “Mary” wanted to inflict this damage on – let’s call him “Bob” other then Bob did something incredibly dumb that upset Mary and he was apparently a “bastard” and she was wild with rage. The only thing that makes me that upset is when one of the men at work decide they will use the ladies toilets as they are always clean. Hello? There is a reason for that and any woman reading this knows what it is. Mind you they have not done this for a while since I explained that unless they could provide poof of XX genes then they needed to pee elsewhere. But back to wild Mary. She calmed down after I pulled out my emergency stash of chocolate – third drawer down - and we bitched about men in general. She could see that genital stapling would involve the ambulance and the police and that I really did not want to hide all the staplers from a grown woman as we used them a lot during the day and did not need to be worrying which one had done the deed. So crisis averted and Bob is a very lucky and very wary man.

Aren’t work places just a hive of insanity? So this is why I praise whichever deity happens to be looking down on me for making tomorrow Friday and pay day. Bless you.

Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?