Lizzie’s birthday

Hallelujah and pass this gin we have a long weekend! It’s the Queen’s birthday weekend and while it’s true Queen Elizabeth’s real birthday was in April, I am confident in saying Aussie’s will celebrate anyone’s birthday, not just an English Queen’s, if it gives us a long weekend. If Mick down the road or Cheryl behind the counter at the corner store had a birthday to celebrate we would be just as happy to have a day off to celebrate with them. It’s not that we don’t like to work, it’s just that we like to relax and enjoy ourselves. We are the land of the long weekend. If we don’t have a public holiday to do what we want then we have to chuck a sickie.

What is a sickie and how does one chuck one? A sickie is when you use your sick leave for anything but being sick. After all, what is it for? Some times you just need to go to the beach or there is a sale on or you have a book to edit or you wake up and look at your clock and think “bugger it I’m not going in to work.” This then means you have to ring work and pretend you are a death’s door. You get the usual questions –
“What’s wrong?” (I have botulism/the plague/the curse/flesh eating disease etc)
“How long will you be off?” (Depends how long my credit card lasts at the sale)
“Is there any pressing workfor someone else to take on?” (Stuffed if I know but feel free to search through the rubble on my desk just don’t look in the third drawer down)
“Will you have a medical certificate?” (Of course I’ve lined the doctor up I’m not that stupid)
And what happens if you get sprung enjoying yourself on your sickie? Well, I just brazen it out – maybe smile or wave as if confuses people. They are not sure if you are sick or if they should ask you what you are doing. Do I personally feel bad taking time off work to enjoy myself? Does a chicken have lips?

So, when Amarinda Jones is Prime Minster, I will create more public holidays – i.e. Cheryl’s birthday public holiday weekend. It’s the least I can do with the workers.

www.freewebs.com/janetdavies