Tuesday, 6 May 2008

You're terrible Muriel...

There is a commercial on television at the moment where an animated banana is running for its life. It runs along roof tops, jumps over things, shinnies down a fire escape, hides panting behind objects in its desperate plight to avoid destruction. It’s quite a dramatic commercial. I was on the edge of my seat watching it. What is it about? Breath fresheners – of course. The banana is trying to escape the same fate of donuts and other unhealthy foods – they get obliterated by the mouth fresheners. Interestingly this is often followed by a commercial that promotes people eating 5 serves of vegetables a day and two of fruit. Last check - a banana is a fruit and on most accounts healthy for you. Let the banana run free I say. I think I'll set up a petition.

Speaking of donuts…I passed by this well known international donut shop and people were lined up for a block…for a donut. I don’t understand. A donut? You’re waiting for a donut? It’s fried dough with icing or cream or something similar on it. Now I like eating unhealthy crap as much as the next person but it’s a donut. Am I missing something? What’s the big deal? Can someone please explain why people line up to buy fried dough and is that fried dough different to any other fried dough by any other company… I don’t get it….

What else I don’t get is the pressing need for people to have job titles. It has been discussed ad nauseum at work. Yes, I suppose some people need to be called something at work in order to feel like they belong but honestly as long as I’m paid and Ida, my car, can slot into a car space at work and I can run screaming from the building at 4pm on the knocker that’s really all I require. Does self esteem require a title? Or can you get by without one? I’m serious…is a title at work important to you?

So, I’ve had this glandular thing for the past couple of days that has had me dragging my arse around. Everyone keeps telling me I ‘look terrible.’ Oh bugger off. I am not good at being sick. I’m too impatient to be good at it. Some people are though…have you noticed? Mind you they aren't all that sick but manage to make their dying swan sick act quite an art form . We had a woman at Promptel, called er…Sharon. She was excellent at being sick. She would be sick for days on end. Truly you would not see her for weeks and then she would suddenly appear hale and hearty and act like nothing had happened. She would sit down, do her job and then the next day she would
be gone again. Of course, we all later found out she was working at another job at the same time and trading on sick leave at both. I really admired her as she had no scruples at all when it came to work and always had management in an amazing state of pissed-offed-ness at her sick leave. Why they let it go on for so long I never knew.

I got offered two free light bulbs when I got home this arvo. Yes, how exciting. I got out of the car and this official looking woman with a badge and paraphernalia of one of the electric companies was waiting at my door. I loathe door knock people. Did I ask you to come? No? Well what are you doing here and especially after work? Anyway she went into her "stay with our company for electricity supply and we’ll give you a gift." Oh yeah? What? Two free long life, light bulbs. Woo hoo! Where do I sign my life away on a 24 months contract for two light bulbs? Seriously light bulbs as an incentive? I believe in deregulation and competition but light bulbs are no incentive for me. She was most disappointed I would not sign. What she did do was also offer me
a free shower head as well. A showerhead? Seriously? That’s an enticement? Yes, most amusing in a drought. But alas I resisted and did not sign. I get the fact that was her job but how many people sign up for 2 light bulbs? And how annoyed would you be if you did not hold out for the shower head as well?

'Got home this arvo and the internet was not working - again. Well it’s been a week since the last problem. Anyway, I was not in the mood to deal with it so I rang up and stamped by size 8’s loudly and used big, annoyed sounding words and the problem got fixed. This is hysterical as this morning I got this email from Promptel about reasons why the internet may not work and why they are such a swell company and why I should not defect to the enemy. Oh I’m defecting baby. Anyway common problems, as far as Promptel is concerned – none of them have anything to with them of course…

- have you turned the computer on?
- have you put in the correct password?
- have you paid the bill?
- is the power on in your house?
- have you clicked on the internet icon?
- do you know how to find the internet icon?
- have you used the internet before?

By the way – no problems are apparently caused by Promptel. It’s all the customer’s fault. Yes, they are absolutely serious…roll on Saturday when I am away from these intellectual giants.

Oh, and I never heard back from anonymous…damn shame that. I wanted to understand the anonymous culture.

Just quickly – why, when we have so many other problems in the world, is the news media fixating on Tom Cruise’s interview with Oprah? Huh? What happened to real news? Get over yourself Tom

Thank god for pseudoephedrine...I am now going to collapse on the sofa in my pj’s and scoff pills.

Anny and Kelly are all sparkly and wise and to the best of my knowledge drug free. Go check ‘em out.
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?


barbara huffert said...

Um, not to be difficult, but unless you seek alternative internet service just how exactly are you to receive your email from Promptel?

I don't get the whole donut thing either and I'm a connoisseur of all things sugar.

Feel better fast!

Katie Reus said...

I can't understand waiting that long in line for a donut. Coffee definitely, but sugar and other crap...I don't think so.

Oh, and you're correct. A banana is a fruit and if you start a petition, I'll be your first signature ;)

Anny Cook said...

Yay, Saturday!

I hope you'll feel better soon. Here all allergies are in full bloom as our mold and pollen counts are higher than they've been in twenty or thirty years.

Never understood Tom. Don't want to understand Tom. Don't watch Oprah and not really interested in doing so. Based on her track record, she doesn't seem to make good choices, does she?

Kelly Kirch said...

I can only think you have a brand new Krispy Kreme in your area. They always have that reaction. Their regular glazed, when warm and fresh are good. Otherwise skip it.

The door knock lady was an assassin. Very good you did not sign to her. Because who else would offer you electricity and then a source for your water to go electrocute yourself with? A killer, I say. Not a very good one, but perhaps sent by the incompetents at Promptel.

Regina Carlysle said...

I,personally,would stand in line for Krispy Kreme. YUUUUMMMM. Each time I go in a Krispy Kreme, I buy two and apply one to each butt cheek.

Tom Cruise! Why Tom Cruise, Britney Spears etc topping headlines when we have soldiers dying every day in Iraq???? Seriously, skewed.

Kelly Kirch said...

I have stood in line for them, but I had a great excuse. I convinced my boss that it would be a great team building exercise if I took someone from the team and we stood in line to buy Krispy Kremes for everyone. The KK was new and the lines were hours long. But Sara and I stood in line gabbing, bought doughnuts and returned with only an hour left in the day.

My boss was a push over

Amarinda Jones said...

Yes, they were KK donuts and I still don't get wasting time standing in line for fried dough. Or is it the culture that we have now that people get seduced into believing the advertisng and the fact 'everyone else is buying fried dough - so I should too.'

Regina Carlysle said... I'm craving Krispy Kreme. YIKES. Big trouble. We don't have one here locally. Never forget my daughter and I standing in line wondering what the big deal was but when we got through the door someone was handing them out. Hot, melty, yummy. We were soooo goners. LOL

Kelly Kirch said...

I think that's when you have to get them too. Cold,nahhhh. Any other flavor, including the chocolate ones are just not the same.

AJ, KK's have a HUGE amount of fat in them and when they are hot, they literally melt like butter.

However, I DO think there is something about the sheep mentality going on there.

Sandra Cox said...

I love donuts! Only KKs when they are hot. If they're not hot I want Dunkin or Mel O Creme.
What's wrong with your glands? Have you been to the doctor? Do you have any meds?

JacquƩline_Roth said...

Sigh. Oh the days when you could get cold medicine with pseudoephedrine in it without signing away your life and providing a DNA sample.

LynTaylor said...

I've never really been big on donuts but the KK's are quite nice. I certainly wouldn't stand in line for one though LOL!

Hope the drugs kicked in for you. Take care :D

Ashley Ladd said...

You're the winner of my Fantasies Contest. Please email me with your email address so I can have the gift certificate sent to you. Ashley :)

Ashley Ladd said...

I'm not a donut person, except for Chinese donuts, and even then I try to ignore them when I go to the Chinese buffet. I'm much more a bagel person. Bananas are cool, too.

Job titles. When I was a staff accountant, I did salary surveys. So the company printed up business cards for me with my glorious job title "Staff Accountant". Not too many people were impressed when they wanted my card. Oh well, that's what the company put. You'd think they'd put a more glamorous title on the card when sending someone into the field.