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Saturday, 17 May 2008

It's me or the possum...

So, I just finished talking online to author Barbara Huffert this morning and I headed down stairs to the laundry to start washing clothes. I opened the door and Mervina, urban possum and all round pain-in-the-bum, springs off a shelf and scares the life out of me. Holy crap! I screamed then swore at her but all she did was grin at me and I am sure I heard a giggle. I then explained to Mervina, probably much to the interest of my neighbors at 6am, that this relationship is just not working and she needs to move on. She ignored me and went back to sitting on the shelf with the laundry liquids. I know two things – I must trap her and give her to the wildlife people and she is getting awfully fat. What the hell is she eating down there? I think I am going to have to check the phone numbers on my phone bill and my credit card statement as I have a feeling she may have been ordering pizza in. Damn, I wish I had a digital camera so I could send a picture of her to the blog. The one above is of a normal possum living outside in a tree. Mervina isn’t normal. She doesn’t do the great outdoors. The thing I don’t get is that my house is surrounded by huge trees and she wants to hang out with soap power and fabric softener. I suspect it has a lot to do with the drought…and she is a perverse possum.

Speaking of the drought…the Queensland Government has a very good program going at the moment. Because of the drought and the need for people to save water you can get a plumber to come to your home for $20 only and he will change 3 washers, put in flow adjusters and you get a new low flow shower head. It’s a good deal from the Government as people use less water and the washers, I did not want to stuff around changing, get fixed for very little. Yeah, I can change washers but why would I when a man can do them in less time? I truly believe men are good at many things and tap washers are one of them. And who knew there were so many choices when it came to free shower heads? I mean seriously, is it something you think about that often? In the end I went with the one he suggested – ‘the massagerhmmm, looking forward to that shower later….well as much as any one with 4 minute shower restrictions can.

Anyway the guy that came out was very nice and we chatted about plumbing and stuff and somehow we got onto the topic of men dyeing their hair and how grey hair is not perceived as sexy. How did we get on this topic? I am as I write on the blog. Conversations with me can jump from anywhere to anything. Yes, I can be exhausting, Anyway, I cannot agree about the grey hair not being sexy. I mean look at George Clooney and Richard Gere. What’s not sexy there?
But I think men can get away with grey hair easier than women. He thought men looked dumb when they coloured their hair. Yeah, I have seen a few men try to go jet black and it looks about as natural as a Vegemite moustache. But then women do that as well…the hair colouring not the moustache…jeeze (eye roll) we spend a great portion of out time ridding ourselves of the possibility on a mo. What do you think? To colour or not to colour? Is grey sexy or not? I personally think do what you want as long as no one loses an eye.

These were in my email this morning…

From: Moham Bello -
$7.6MILLION FOR TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT URGENTLY/CALL ME +226 XX XXX XXX
From: UK NATIONAL LOTTERY.
FILE FOR CLAIMS!!! CALL +44-XX-XXX-XXX

Yeah…I’ll be doing that….I am just that stupid…

Update on the Mervina situation….I read the wildlife page of the State government. It says ‘live with the possum – share your surroundings with this delightful creature, encourage it to find a home in the trees.’ Right. Delightful? Huh. Apparently if I trap the little bugger and have her relocated it’s just as likely another possum will take her place…perfect. So what to do? Do I find a ‘nesting box’ and put it into a tree and encourage Mervina out into the trees where normal possums live? I just don’t know if I can fit all her Scandinavian furniture in one small box or I trap her and have her sent away to the country? Lordy…why me? I am as one with nature as I am with quantum physics.

Best line on a blurb I have read all day?

Having lived for close to three millennia, he has seen and done everything there is to do in the universe, including bedding thousands of women over the years.” Perhaps Love by Madison Blake – out now at Ellora’s Cave. Doesn’t it conjure up a picture?
Click here to buy. And Madison is running a contest…check out this note from Madison below…

Go to my website: http://madison.thelovechronicle.com . You'll notice I have two other books upcoming with Ellora's Cave. Pick one of them and tell me the names of the three characters. So, here's the information I want:
- Title
- 3 names
Send the email to
madison@thelovechronicle.com with the subject line "Perhaps Love Contest". At midnight of May 25, 2008, I'm picking TWO winners from the pool of submissions. Each winner will get a download of Perhaps Love.
Winners will be announced on the EC Chat loop on May 26, 2008.
Good luck!

Well? Can you get an easier contest than that? I will have my own contest up and running for the release of Unbreakable on May 30th. Wanna’ win some Aussie stuff? Stay tuned.

Blogs to check?
Anny, Sandra, Kelly and Katie – just to name a few… and when finished with those may I suggest you check out the fine blogging talent to the left.

Have a possum free Saturday...may nothing make your scream at 6am unless it’s in passion.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?

6 comments:

barbara huffert said...

Doesn't your new phone have a camera hidden in it somewhere? We need a picture of Mervina lounging on her new furniture. Just out of curiousity...did that page give you any tips on how to encourage her out of your house? And what about who will then move into her basement apartment? How do you stop that? Hang up a "No Vacancy" sign?

Anny Cook said...

Are you sure that Mervina isn't going to have a lot of little Mervinas? That seems the most likely to me...

Screaming with passion at 6AM? Uh, no. I prefer to wait until the sun's up, at least.

Gray hair. Supposedly, gray is the new blond. If so, I'm in like Flint as I'm completely silver up top.

Sandra Cox said...

If Ms. Mervina looks like the picture possum, she's darling. Our possums are butt ugly. Not that looks are everything:) I'm afraid Anny may be right. You may have a bunch of little possums running around soon. Do you have any conservations that would take her in? I have a mental image of you seeing her on the shelf and screaming at 6 a.m.

Sandra Cox said...

Gray hair: I'm heading in that direction and too lazy to color.

Amarinda Jones said...

Oh no...I refuse to believe that possum is pregnant. And yes, she looks exactly like that picture. Cute? It's just a ploy to get attention

Anika Hamilton said...

Oh come on Amarinda. Stop acting coy. You know you like Mervina, you went as far as to name the thing. You are obviously attached. :-)