On my high horse...

I mentioned on Sunday I believe, that I was detrashy-fying (and no, that is the correct spelling - I made the word up therefore it's my spelling) a book - a ménage novella - to send a publisher. Originally the novella, called Male Me, was destined for another publisher but I was not happy with it so I let it sit for a while until inspiration hit me. I can be as trashy as the next person but I wanted it to be better than it was. It was, as we say in the Jones family - all arse and no class - literally. It still has much arse (or ass) but not in such trashy proportions. Anyway I banged it off to Resplendence Publishing on Sunday and they shot back with an offer of a contract for Male Me. Excellent. Sometimes it's better to bide your time. Who is Resplendence Publishing? Click here to check 'em out. No, I still will be writing for Ellora’s Cave as they are a excellent mob to work with. What's Male Me about? Well I am yet to write a blurb but its one woman who meets two men who are buddies (not bisexual) who enjoy sharing the one woman. Lucky her…that is, if I was into ménage and I'm not….not that there's anything wrong with that as they would say on Seinfeld. But the most French thing I will indulge in is croissants or crème brulee or Moet…ooh la la… passez vous le plonk et beaucoup croissants avec side order de la crème brulee s'il vous plait. Yes, I speak French like a native…of Australia.

Someone said something to me this morning that annoyed me. It was to do with their belief that I was into ‘non commitment’. All this because I said let’s back off from doing something. This person is an acquaintance and it’s always tricky to word something in an email at the best of times let alone to someone you really don’t know and cannot see. I always think ‘how am I going to word this?’ With people you know and trust implicitly it’s different. You can just say things and they get it because they know you. I think it comes down to levels of trust. While I give my opinions freely on the blog and in life, I’m not about to tell people I barely know everything about me. That would be crazy, right? Do you do that? No, of course not. If you do then I personally think you have other issues to do with need. My opinion, of course. Commitment to me comes down to trust. Maybe some people consider not divulging all as ‘non commitment.’ That’s their belief. I respect that but they also have to respect that I do not feel obligated to the same needs they have. What is commitment anyway? To me it means that you are 100% behind someone or something, that you have a total belief in them or it. Sure, maybe I am non-committal to some. But trust to me is hard won and unbreakable when secured. So, there it is. I am a human being and I disappointed someone. That’s what humans do. I am never going to measure up to all nor do I expect or want to. Okay, vent over.

I sent another email today to a person I do not know and proposed something to them. Hell no, not marriage -read the above entry - I am apparently non committal - and I also have the broken big toe thing that precludes me from romantic attachments because as Ethel, my best friends says, you don't want to pass that on as a genetic fault. Anyway I suppose it was fairly cheeky and in your face what I did but I thought - oh why the hell not? What is the worst they can do? Say no? Tell me I am a pain in the arse? I've heard both of things before and neither has killed me. Opinions never do unless you let them. So I await their response. Yes, what I have asked of them will benefit me. I'm not stupid. I’m the daughter of Maureen, a woman who inspired her kids to go out there ask for stuff and to accept the consequences - good or bad - of doing so. But the thing is I believe this person will benefit too. If they are game and you have to be with me. Do you ever shy away from asking for things? Do you think – “oh no I couldn’t. What will the other person think?” Probably they will be surprised, maybe irritated and maybe interested - but hey, you’ve got to try don't you?

I have been listening to my Evita CD is the car. Yeah, the one with Madonna and the luscious Antonio. Hmm, yum… anyway, I like the movie and the music and I have always thought Eva Peron was a fascinating woman. I read a couple of books on her in the past. She was ambitious. She was greedy. She was unrealistic. But the thing is I admired her. I defy anyone to come from a dirt poor background and not be any of these things. Let's face it, power when you have none is like a fairytale come true. I personally believed she dragged Peron’s arse to the top and he was never the same after she died. While she had an ardent desire to help the 'shirtless ones' of which she had grown up amongst, she really didn’t have a clue about how to do it other than dealing in granting wishes and relying on fairytale logic. And yet what an amazing woman she was.

Another interesting woman I have been reading about is Marie Antoinette. In some ways similar to Eva due to the fact she was a product of her environment. How on earth did they expect to a ridiculously pampered child to go to France and be a queen without stuffing it up? How

could someone who had everything and been denied nothing ever understand how the poor people of France thought or what they needed? She was a pretty, ninny but she had been brought up that way. Yes, probably a case of both nurture and nature. It was only at the end of her life that she got it - when she suffered hardship and cruelty. They are huge lessons to be had in life aren’t they? They make you grow. No one really learns much when they are given everything do they? Look at some of the airheads we have popping up in the media. I personally believe Marie Antoinette was doomed from birth.

So, all over the place today with the blog but life is like that isn’t it? Please go check out Anny’s blog where she is more Zen and logical for a moments breathing space – and remember author Barbara Huffert had a brand spanking new book…okay, I haven’t read it yet so not sure if there is spanking in it... but check it out here.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?