Absence of arse...

So I was sitting at work today when I looked over at this man’s butt. God no, not someone who is normally in the office. I don’t even consider them men.  They’re just there. Annoying me with dumb questions. Drat them. This was a visitor. He and his non-existent arse had just walked into the office. It was flat as a pancake and I thought to myself how can you possibly sit on an bum like that? Does a lack of arse mean your pelvis bones are jarred every time you sit down? What are you sitting on? Thighs alone? Your tail bone? Do you sort have to slouch? How do you balance? How do your undies not fall down?  While it would be a good thing not to worry if your bum was too big I’m more concerned about the comfort level. And no, it wasn’t because I was bored shitless and waiting for the day to end…okay, maybe it was but it does make you wonder don’t it?  What does a woman hold on to when things are going horizontally well? When someone wants to give you an arse kicking do you laugh in their face because you don’t have one to kick or do you get worried as there’s nothing but bones to kick? Is more flesh better in this case?  Should we celebrate the whole absence of arse thing? Are non-bum people discriminated against?  I tell you, work is exhausting sometimes…