Friday, 14 March 2008

Bad Clown

Dear Amarinda,

Here is your horoscope for Friday, March 14:

Can you resist temptation? Maybe a better question would be, do you even want to? Something deliciously irresistible is heading your way. Give in to it, you'll regret it if you don't.

Okay – consider me giving in to it.

Clowns are evil

Coulrophobia is an abnormal or exaggerated fear of

Can’t Sleep Clowns will eat me – Alice Cooper

I mentioned a week or so ago I would do a blog on why clowns are evil. It was pointed out to me I had not. Bad Amarinda. So here it is. I even scanned my own Can’t Sleep Clowns will eat me t-shirt that I wear to bed. Yes, how attractive I must look in the morning - and maybe it's probably too much info but I want you to know I take this subject very seriously. I don’t fear clowns, I am just very suspicious of them.

The reasons clowns are evil accordingly to Amarinda Jones...

- Why does an adult have to paint their face in such garish colours? Why the pure white faces, red noses and creepy looking eyes? Supposedly that’s supposed to make us happy? How? By creeping us out? Is it just me or is it odd that an adult trowels make up on? And no, I‘m not counting relatives in this.
- Exaggerated, big red lips? What’s that about? To me it indicates greed. Do you want greedy people around you pretending they are funny and wanting to make you happy? What exactly do they want for that ‘happiness’?
- Why the whole sad face routine? Are we supposed to feel sorry for them and give them money when they pull out the empty pockets of their baggy pants? It’s a less than subtle form of begging.
-Why not use their real names – why Bozo and Happy? What are they hiding? Why can’t we have Ronald or Neville or Barry the clown? Is 'Bozo' like a rank in the Clown Army?
- Clown mouths – you know those games of chance at carnival? You put as many balls as you can into a clowns mouth and yet he will give nothing back. He just takes. Does that seem right to you? What does that teach kids? Hand your money to the clown and you’ll get stuff all back (stuff all = nothing in Aussie speak)
- You can tell a lot about a person from the shoes they wear. A clown has oversized feet. Why? What are they compensating for or what are they indicating to us? Is it some psycho sexual correlation with another part of their anatomy – i.e. foot size = penis size = latent sexual prowess. I’m not sure how this works for female clowns of course. It’s just a theory.
- Baggy clothes – okay, we all have out ‘fat’ days but what are clowns saying? That every day should be a fat day? Are they encouraging us to chuck our diets and we become as ‘happy and go lucky’ as them? Then what happens? We start painting our faces and carrying around little umbrellas? Yes, you know where I’m heading with this - Clown Cult. We become like them and eventually the world is run by clowns. You can see that happening at the moment.
- And is it just me or does it seem that most clowns are men? Why is that? You know how women always say the best men are married or gay – maybe they’ve been sucked into a Clown Cult.
- A lot of kids cry at clowns. Kids are pure and innocent. If the pure and innocent can sense evil, maybe adults who are jaded and world weary should take note of this and nip this clown thing in the bud.
- I read one Internet site that likened Santa Claus to a clown. Hmm…if you read my Christmas blogs last year you will know this fits into my theory that Santa is a manipulative megalomaniac running a sweat shop at the North Pole
- Basically, clowns act cute or funny to disarm you and before you know it you're in Clown Headquarters pledging allegiance to Bozo and giving all you money away to keep said Bozo in the baggy faced style he had become accustomed to.

It’s not just me. There is a growing call against clowns on the Internet. This is but a warning. Beware the clowns.
As for mimesspeak damn it! I don’t get the whole mime thing. Why are you walking against the wind? If you got out of the wind like a normal person then you wouldn’t have to put your hands up to fend it off. And, don’t get in the glass box and then you won’t have to find a way out of it. I mean really, doesn’t that make sense to you? Why all the pretense? If you want a cup of coffee – go get one – don’t pretend you are drinking one ‘cause I’m not going to be suckered into buying you one. And really, why do people have to go to Mime school? What’s to learn? We pretend all the time.

Speaking of clowns…Saturday we have the local city council elections. I am most disappointed as there is no transvestite running this year. That’s annoying for who else is credible enough to vote for? There is someone who has a nickname, I’m contemplating them.

I have been doing a couple of days on the factory floor to get an overall look at the new job. One important thing to note – factory workers work very hard and they rarely if ever get to sit down. My hat goes off to them…it’s a bloody hard job.

As always wander please over and see what Anny is up to on and what the lowdown is with Kelly on ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best


Mona Risk said...

I'm not a clown or even mime fan. I started feeling sorry for them after I saw an old movie, The biggest show on earth, where the clown was such a sad person.
As for horoscope, mine was so appropriate: Collect your pay and go guilt-free on your next assignment. LOL

Kelly Kirch said...

I'm not afraid of clowns, I just don't get them. I don't understand the lure and I think they are fairly stupid. However the clowns on this blog would scare the crap out of me.

Bronwyn warning: Stay away from the clown blog!!!

You take on Mimes cracked me up. I think next time I see one, I'll stand in front of him and scream at the top of my lungs just for fun.

Anny Cook said...

Factory work is a killer. It's a close cousin to ware house work.

Clowns... I can take them or leave them. I always just felt like an idiot when confronted with a clown.

I'm with Kelly, the pics would scare the heck out of me.

Bronwyn's Blog said...

Dear God!!!! Just about spit out my tea when I saw those pictures!

Also, clowns seem really needy in terms of needing affection. Creepily so.

barbara huffert said...

Not a clown fan either. I just don't think they're funny. They're a distraction from the rest of the circus which annoys me.

Lyn Cash said...

Okay, thanks - now clowns creep me OUT - OUT OUT OUT! *shudder* Where the hell did you find those photos? - lol

Great post, though. Am secretly coveting that tee-shirt.