Heroes...

Batman: "'It is the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a man from Mars in a public park.' - Gotham City Penal Code, Section 32, Subsection 14."

Ok, last week I spoke about Batman and I said don’t get me started on why a grown man wears his undies over his tights. Naturally, an astute reader asked me what I meant. Well, maybe not that astute if I have to explain how freaking weird it is for anyone to dress like this. Superman does the same thing – red daks over blue tights. Now any woman worth her salt knows that tights are not a quick item of clothing to dress in. They have to go on right or they get all twisted and they are uncomfortable. What I want to know is, how these super heroes change clothes so quickly – and Superman in phone box sometimes – without getting their tights twisted up? Added to that what happens to their penis? What you ask? You look at any Batman or Superman picture and there is barely a noticeable bulge. I think that’s odd. Now if a man wore tights something would have to stick out somewhere as the material is pretty stretchy. As for the undies over the top they would hardly contain everything now would they? Do superhero penises contract in times of crisis to allow smooth tight wearing? Please advise.

And may I point out that other superheroes do not wear undies over tights like Spiderman, Flash Gordon, Captain America etc. Why aren’t they victims to the same fashion faux pas? Okay, sure, it’s not like anyone is going to poke fun at Superman about his strange way of dressing but you would like to think he would get that it’s not normal to dress as he does. Yes, he is from another planet, yes he is all powerful and good but I’m not sure if that means he’s smart. As for Batman, the man hangs out in a cave. It’s probably drafty. This may account for the
underwear thing but I’m not sure. A friend of mine, lets call her Bella, told me when she was a little kid, she used to tuck her shirt into her undies when she was cold in the winter. Maybe this is a possibility for Batman. She also suggested that on occasion she has worn her underwear over her tights when she had been in a hurry to re-dress after sex. Too much information for me but maybe this is another reason for the underwear over tights and the penis shrinkage in lycra.

And what’s the story with Wonder Woman? She’s in a swimsuit. I defy any woman to tell me she is comfortable running and spinning around in a strapless bathing suit and not worried about her boobs flying out. It’s just wrong. Yes, I know men wrote and drew the cartoons but why can’t Wonder Woman be updated like Batman into a more practical costume? And why is Catwoman in a full cat suit that holds everything in but Wonder Woman does not get the same thing? You know what I think it is? Look at the villains. Catwoman, the Penguin, the Joker
etc they are always fully dressed. Why is that? Is it because evil cannot wear their undies over tights or as I suspect villains are smarter than the tight wearers? It worries me that we have uncoordinated, ill dressed superheroes trying to keep us safe. Yes I know clothing does not make a person but don’t you feel more confident when you are comfortable?

Real Heroes....

In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours --Ayn Rand

Being serious for a moment…I believe real heroes are those that do not count the cost of what they do. They run into burning buildings as others flee and they go to war torn lands to fight for freedom. Heroes also fight battles against cancer, terrible burns and physical disability. Real heroes refuse to allow prejudice and ignorance stop them from achieving. A real hero always says, “I did not think about it, I just did it.” Who are your heroes?

So, that's Monday over with. In Oz we have Friday and Monday off due to Easter...hallelujah and pass the gin. May I suggest you wander on over to www.annycook.blogspot.com and take a squiz at the handsome Cook family? After that I recommend you sashay over to www.kkirch.blogspot.com and read the wise thoughts of guest blogger Chris Power.

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Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?