Knickers to you…

Underwear or undies or underaks as we call them in Oz…why am I talking about them? Because I can? Yes, but more that I have been writing away at my latest book and I have been trying to come up with different ways to say pants, panties or knickers. Yes, what a strange life we romance writers lead. Not only do we have common, life threatening ailments – see yesterday’s blog – but we also have to have a stream of words to describe different things like underwear. Why? Because you cannot keep using the same word over and over again as it gets boring, especially if that word is mentioned within a couple of sentences of the last time you said it. Invariably, my editor will cyber slap me and put the comment ‘repetition’ in margin when it comes to editing. So to save my Editor some the aggro, I give her much, I try and think of different ways to say things like underwear. So, if you have any, feel free to put them, the words, not your undies, in the comments section of the blog.

*Underdaks = underwear under trousers. Trousers = daks…no, it doesn’t have to make sense but we like it

Have you ever been to one of those online chats were the author pretends to be one of the characters from their book? It’s quite a refreshing change from the actual author spruiking about the book as you hear, or in this case read, what the character thinks. However, I have been to a couple of these to support fellow authors and one of the first questions people will ask the male ‘character’ is what underwear do they wear? Now I find this odd. I would have thought knowing his motivation for this or that or what he felt about the heroine would be more important than if we wore boxers or went commando? What do you think? Sure, you may look at some men and think…hmmm…tighty whities or au naturel but unless he is about to drop his strides and get down to business with you, it’s really not that important is it? So why do perfectly sane-ish people ask that question first? Is it the titillation of being able to? Is it even rational knowing you’re probably on-line with a female author who is pretending to be her male character? Does his underwear have anything to do with the story at all? Just my opinion but I think it’s an weird thing to ask.

It always fascinates me how people rush out to buy things like underwear that a celebrity has put their name to. It’s not like the celebrity has actually designed them is it? She or he has just been given a bucket load of money to endorse the underdaks. Let’s face it if Beryl, your next door neighbour, was handed a wad of dough to endorse Beryl’s Bras she would take it, but would everyone look at Beryl with her plump, unfamous body and rush out to buy her bras even if she is just as good or better than a celebrity? No of course they wouldn’t so why do people get sucked into buying underwear with a ‘star’ label on it? It’s not like it’s going to hydraulically lift your boobs any higher or make a man look more endowed is it? Why would you waste you money on a ‘name’ when something unnamed and cheaper is just as good? Though in saying that, many moons ago my mother and I used to buy the same style bra. It was for the – er – top heavy who
need the extra hydraulics. The bra style was called ‘Dolores’, Mum would often ring and say do you know they have ‘Dolores’ on sale and we would scarper off to buy at a discounted rate. No, Dolores was no one famous. We often used to picture her as a placid yet sturdy sort. The Dolores name bra is no longer is available in case you were going to search for one.

Are you are thinking what the hell is the point of this blog - that is if you are still reading it. Well, it could be that underwear is something that we take for granted and we never think about – or it could be that I have spent the whole day writing and trying think up alternative words for undies and I am slowly losing my mind. The obvious answer is of course not to have my characters wear underwear at all but then I would have to come up with alternative words to describe their non-underwearing state. It’s enough to drive

me to chocolate…and I have none in the house. I see a road trip to the local shops momentarily. So underwear - ponder on it for a moment and then move on to maybe contemplate socks.

Okay – so on to non underwear related topics…Anny is talking sex on www.annycook.blogspot.com – okay maybe undies related - and Kelly – well – I have no idea what she is talking about on www.kkirch.blogspot.com so it will be a surprise for us all.

www.freewebs.com/amarindajones/
Go ahead: Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?