Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Paint your kitchen...

So today I took everything out of the kitchen so I could paint. It’s only a small room. When I bought the house the agent considered having a small kitchen a bad thing. Having a pimple on your nose is a bad thing. Backing you car into the mailbox is a bad thing. Having a wasp bite you on the arse is a bad thing. A small kitchen is nothing in the scheme of life’s problems and it’s perfect for someone who does not cook. Cooking gives me an arm cramp…or a leg cramp…something cramps up at the thought of bowls and saucepans and mixing stuff.

Anyway other than discovering I have a plethora of kitchen crap – don’t you just love the word ‘plethora’ – actually I don’t know why someone is not called Plethora…Plethora Jones, Plethora Smith, Plethora Chang …maybe a movie star will name their kid that instead of fruit…while fruit is important no one wants to be called Banana Brown or Mango MacGuire or Passionfruit Flegelheimer …those names are just asking for trouble in the school yard…anyway, where was I? Hmmm…yes…the kitchen…so I am painting the kitchen. And no, to all you well meaning friends who keep asking me, I have not finished yet. Why not?

So as I moved stuff out to paint, amongst the useless crap I have, I once more looked up to see that I have a stove hood. No, it’s not for keeping the stove’s head warm. I thought that too. I thought – aw, isn’t that nice to care and give the stove a hat. But no - apparently it is to be used in cooking. You flip a switch on the side and the hood does stuff. I turned it on once when I moved in and I turned it on again today. It lights up and makes whirring sounds. Most impressive. I believe it’s designed to suck stuff up. Sucking, whirring and lighting up…sounds like an excellent Ellora’s Cave book…anyway, I looked at the filters. They are like brand new. Because of this I feel it would be wrong to start cooking and mess them up. I’m sure you see my logic.

Yes, I’m rambling. I’m tired. Tomorrow the kitchen will be finished. Say it. Believe it. Over it.
Go Ahead : Live with abandon. Be outrageous at any age. What are you saving your best self for?